Nul Points? (Eurovision Song Contest: Riga 2003)

Member Name: stoffy

Product:	Eurovision Song Contest: Riga 2003
Date:	06/12/03 (414 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: great variety of songs on offer

Disadvantages: the shame of nul points...

British national pride is always something that's bruised as easily as a peach. Whilst in the sporting arena, the boot of Jonny Wilkinson gave at least the English something to cheer about in 2003, Britain suffered a musical humiliation when scoring 'nul points' at the Eurovision Song Contest in Riga, Latvia back in the May. The Scouse duo Jemini who sung for the UK blamed the war on the Iraq and tampered monitors for their lack of scoring. You don't need to be Miss Marple to realise that there were two more obvious reasons why the UK was stuck behind the Bosnia-Herzegovina and the Federal Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia...

The 'Eurovision Song Contest Riga 2003' is a compilation of the 26 entries that showcased (or embarrassed) themselves in Latvia. Featuring the recorded studio versions rather than the live performances that were sung on the night, it catalogues just why people are attracted and repelled by Eurovision in seemingly equal doses...

This year's contest was perhaps anticipated more greatly than in previous years thank to faux-lesbian Russian teenage duo t-A-T-u who had already been number one in practically every country in Europe thanks to 'All The Things She Said'. Scaring the selectors upon being picked to represent their country, they were warned not to inappropriately sauce up the family show or they would be disqualified... their song 'Ne Ver, Ne Bojsia' is one of the highlights of the album with it's dance production and typically chipmunk-esque vocals.

t-A-T-u particularly upset the Eurovision fraternity by describing the German contestant Lou as a 'crusty old bag'. Clearly knowing her demographic, Lou's lyrical plea of 'let's be happy and let's be gay' was ultimately in vain, although the cheeky juxtaposition of her in the running order just before the Russians was surely not accidental. Hearing it in polished studio form, it's a li
ttle surprising that the German entry didn't do a little better for itself as it's arguably the most memorable of the 26 of offer.

However, on the night both Lou and t-A-T-u were surprisingly upstaged by Sertab Erener, who's 'Every Way That I Can' became the first Turkish winner in Eurovision history. Two and a half minutes of pop perfection, it's Eastern rhythms and bouncy pop tune made her a deserving victor, although recent events in that country make the ESC in Istanbul in 2004 look a little less appetising. Elsewhere, Jemini's recorded efforts sound an iota better than it did live, although it is still one of the UK's weakest entries.

Interestingly, the most modern sounding track was put forward by Romania which despite heavy-accented English actually sounds quite credible when heard again. Similarly, the Spanish entry 'Dime Tu' is extremely catchy and would be happily at home in the charts had it been sung in English.

On the flip-side, we have Austrian performance artist Alf Poier's rant about the countryside which was arguably the oddest song ever to have been performed at peak-time on BBC and the new-age Belgian entry (in an imaginary language!) which sounds like Enya after one too-many Bacardi Breezers.

There is an awful lot of filler here that even the most avid fan would skip - the tiresome ballad (Portugal), the non-ironic 80's throwback (Ukraine) and the Sex-Bomb rip-off (Bosnia). Sweden also toss in another Abba-lite track, whilst Ireland predictably contribute another man-at-the-piano slowie.

However, the album is an interesting purchase purely for the diversity on offer and the number of tracks. It may not represent the best music of the continent, but is definitely worth a giggle if only for the fact that it's the only place where you'll find as many lesbians, weirdos, clones and misunderstood soles as Emmerdale Farm...

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