All things scabbed and ulceroous, all pox both great and small (Monty Python Sings - Monty Python)

Member Name: thehonesttruth

Product:	Monty Python Sings - Monty Python
Date:	20/09/09 (40 review reads)
Rating:

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I've been a big fan of Monty Python since I was a child - something about the sheer randomness and the shock value of it always amused me , and with my dad being a huge fan there was always something Monty Python related on the TV in our house .

The Python team were a group of comedians -Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin, and the first episode of Monty Pythons Flying Circus was aired on 5th October 1969 . This was way before the days of political correctness, and as a result a lot of the comments and jokes made in the course of this hilarious series would provoke numerous complaints today .

But, back in those days, you could get away with being rude, offensive, and even a little bit racist (always very tongue in cheek).

As well as their jokes, and Terry Gilliams amazing animation sequences, they also did a nice line in songs, and this CD is a collection of 25 of those songs, taken both from the Tv series 'Monty Pythons Flying Circus' and from the films they also made - The Holy Grail, Life of Brian, and The Meaning of Life . So, now that the introductions are out of the way, lets get on with telling you whats on the CD .

There are 25 songs on this cd, and some of them are rather rude - take this as your warning that this review may be silly, and the occasional little rude lyric might rear it's ugly head - however, I'll certainly try to be conservative .

' Always look on the bright side of life'

Python fans amongst you will recognise as the closing song from the film 'Life of Brian '. It was written by Eric Idle, and Eric also sang it, in a very chirpy cheeky accent - less singing in fact, and more talking in time with the music! It's accompanied by cheerful plinky piano and some happy whistling, and is a song about, funnily enough, looking on the bright side when things get a bit tough. This song for me is just one of those catchy songs- you hear it, and you can't help but whistle and sing along with it , and a song that drags you in a such a way has to be a good one .

'Sit on my face'

If you hear this song for the first time, you may recognise the tune, but not the lyrics, as being from a 1934 film entitled 'Sing as we go' where a song was sung to this tune by Gracie Fields .However, Gracie Fields' version wasn't about oral sex - and this one is . It's only 46 seconds long, but manages to pack in a good amount or rudeness without actually being disgusting. This is one that I listen to, shaking my head and wondering how on earth they got away with it at the time!

3. Lumberjack Song

This is probably on of the best known songs on the CD. It starts with a fellow proclaiming that what he really wants to be is ' a Lumberjack, leaping from tree to tree' . It starts out as a very rugged song, with each verse being repeated back by a choir of mounties, until various verses start to make you suspect that perhaps this lumberjack is not entirely has he seems .

4. Penis Song

A song, funnily enough, dedicated entirely to the joys of having a penis, and all the things you can do with it . It starts with a brief spoken introduction spoken in very posh accent, before launching into all the delights of penis ownership. The lines that particularly appeal to me are the last few :

You can wrap it up in ribbons
You can slip it in your sock
But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock
And you won't a-come a-back

5. Oliver Cromwell

I consider this song to be one of the few weak links on the album - it starts with a nice piano intro, which gradually gets faster, and then a man starts talking about the history of England, and Charles I in particular, in a cut glass English accent - then to be interrupted by drunks bawling along in awful falsetto voices. It's a shame they employed this drunken style singing, as it actually makes some really very clever lyrics hard to understand, and this is a very witty song indeed.

6. Money Song

I love this song, it's basically Eric Idle taking the lead vocally and singing about how wonderful money is, and just how much of it he has in various types - Lire, Deutshmarks, French Francs . It's a wonderful jaunty song that proceeds with strong percussion at high speed - in fact its less than a minute long! The only downside is of course that now, in the time of the Euro, none of these currencies exist anymore!

7. Accountancy Shanty

Continuing with the money theme, we have this song, with starts with a soaring orchestral score that would not be out of place in a 50's musical . They manage to cram a number of cringe inducing puns into a very short song . 'It's fun to charter an accountant - and sail the wide accountant sea!'. Very catchy and easy to sing along to, but some truly awful puns!

8. Finland

Another weak link here - opening to a classical guitar introduction, we then have singing in a strange accent about all the wonders of Finland . It just seems as though they are really stretching out for a rhyme of any kind in some of the verses :

You're so near to Russia,
So far from Japan,
Quite a long way from Cairo,
Lots of miles from Vietnam .

9. Medical Love Song

This, like the sit on my face song, is certainly one to avoid if you have children nearby. I love it though - sung in a loud voice, almost barber-shop quartet song, with some incredibly jaunty music, it's basically a man declaring his love for a woman by comparing her lovely smile to inflamed foreskin, and talking about how her vagintus turns him on . In breaks into a chorus naming all kinds of diseases in a cockney accent that might have been shared between the two . However rude it might be, the lyrics are pure genius .

My clapped out genitalia
Is not so bad for me
As the complete and utter failure
Every time I try to pee
My doctor says my buboes
Are the worst he's ever seen
My scrotum's painted orange
And my balls are turning green

10. I'm so worried

This song starts with synthesised strings, with a man worrying in a quavering voice about various things . I had to have a good laugh when he got to the line about being worried about the baggage retrieval systems at Heathrow, given all the problems they had when they opened the newest terminal.

Musically, its poor - again, its not singing, just someone talking over music in a silly voice . But a lot of the lines are apt - worries about the endless repeats on TV , fashions, modern technology.

11. Every Sperm is Sacred

This song has to be my absolute favourite Python song ever . For those who haven't seen the Meaning of Life , it's used to illustrate the fact that Roman Catholics aren't meant to be wearing condoms. That in itself wouldn't be allowed on TV now, it would probably be considered discrimination of some kind to make comments like that about religion . It isn't that that makes this song great though - it's the fact that they have children , clearly very young ones,singing about the sacredness of sperm! I wonder what these children are doing now ! The particular part that stands out for me is a child singing the following lines :

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

I wonder if she even knew what sperm was when she sang this!


12. Never be Rude to an Arab

Before political correctness , racism was a large part of comedy , and Monty Python were no exception . In this song, they poke fun at a arge number of races, one after another, under the guise of warning NOT to poke fun at them. It's another pretty tuneless track,and ends with an explosion as the singer is blown up by someone who is offended . Not a bad thing, this song is a little too close to being really offensive

13. I like Chinese

Given how I've just moaned about the last song being racially offensive, it's perhaps surprising then that I love this one, especially being as I'm part chinese myself . It is, if anything, even more stereotyped - but I can't deny that it's hilarious!

It's almost like reverse racism, a guy explaining why he likes them, rather than why he doesn't , accompanied witha jaunty little track with the occasional oriental influenced section in the music . It even has a verse sung in chinese!

Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Ni hao ma; ni hao ma; ni hao ma; zaijien! (How are you; how are you; how are you; goodbye!)

I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
Their food is guaranteed to please,
A fourteen, a seven, a nine, and lychees.

14. Eric the Half a Bee

Unlike many songs on the album, this one is perfectly suited for children - its a very very silly little song, about a bee that got cut in half. No rudeness, no insults, no racism, just the very silliest song I've ever known.

It even goes so far as to have la-di-da, la-di-de as part of the lyrics . And I love that John Cleese is the lead vocal on this, he just manages to sound so very bored when singing , and then adds to the ridiculousness of the song by declaring 'the end'.

15. Brian Song

This song is a departure from the rest on the album . The theme tune for the Life of Brian movie, it's sung not by any of the Python team, but by Sonia Jones, and is performed almost like a Shirley Bassey Jame Bond theme tune, except of course with far, far sillier lyrics detailing a boys rise from babyhood to late puberty .

16. Bruces Philosphers Song

I love this song, sung in an Aussie accent . It is a song that proceeds with great speed and is almost impossible to sing along to, and basically consists of insisting that every philosopher we know was a drunkard! It's definitely a brilliant drinking song!

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
With half a pint of shandy got particularly ill
Plato, they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
"I drink therefore I am"


17. The meaning of Life

This is another song that comes in with a full band behind it . It's the opening theme for the film 'Meaning of Life' and is sung in an obviously fake french accent, with strong booming percussion behind it, and some bluesy piano riffs . In some places, it's less singing and more shouting, but it's still incredibly catchy .

18. We're Knights of the Round Table

This track is from 'Holy Grail' and again is one of those tracks where they seem to be really reaching for rhymes - only in this case it actually works brilliantly, both within the setting of the film and as a track on it's own .

19. All things Dull and Ugly

As an ex church choirgirl, one song that bored me to tears was 'All things bright and beautiful'. Here, it's gioven a refreshing remake - the tune is entirely the same, with the same organ playing it in, but the lyrics are completely different and highly amusing . This is another song that was sung only by children, rather than the Python team themselves.

All things scabbed and ulcerous,
All pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
The Lord God made them all

20. Decomposing Composer

A stroke of genius, taking classical tracks that are well known, and then talking over the top by Eric Idle about how they're all dead now! Musically this is one of the strongest tracks on the album, with several recognisable extracts from well known classical pieces utterly destroyed by the comedy lines being uttered over the top .

21. Henry Kissinger

A song, sund by Eric Idle, in a very World War Two dance hall style , with rather amusing lyrics.

All right so people say that you don't care
But you've got nicer legs than Hitler
And bigger tits than Cher

22. Two Legs

I'm not sure this even counts as a song - it's four lines of someone talking along with a ukelele!

23. Christmas in Heaven

I HATE this song, sang ina cruddy American accent and incredibly cheesy . In 'The Meaning of Life' it was mildly entertaining as part of the film, but as a song on it's own, it's deeply, deeply, annoying .

24. Galaxy Song

I love the way they manage to get so many facts into a song going at a nice catchy rhythm, accompanied by some dodgy synth attempting to make sci-fi wooshing sounds, and a lightly tapping tambourine.

There is a brief interlude partway through the song that sounds a bit like an old fashioned merry-go-round tune being played ona synth .

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.

25. Spam

Another highly silly song , all about the delights of that lovely lovely meat in a can!

Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!
Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam.
Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Spam spam spam spam!

If you're looking for music, this album is not for you . If you're looking for something to listen to on a car journey with your children, this album is not for you . If you're a fan of Monty Python and all the silliness that goes along with it, then this album will certainly appeal, I think you need to already be a Python fan in order to appreciate this album, but as a Python fan myself, I do recommend it .

4 stars - a couple of tracks were very weak, but the majority were entertaining .

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