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Planet Jedward - Jedward

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Genre: Pop / Artist: Jedward / Audio CD released 2010-07-26 at Absolute Records

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      13.10.2011 20:24
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      What the hell did I just listen to?

      Jedward are an Irish pop duo from Ireland formed by twins John and Edward Grimes. Now I wouldn't really call Jedward musicians, let alone a pop duo. I personally like to call them the Ultimate Trolls Of European Television. They rose to fame by taking part in a glamorous karaoke show called The X Factor. They where rubbish but because they where Irish they got a thumbs up by Louie Walsh.

      At this point there was a lot of people who simply had enough of Simon Cowell taking over the world using talent shows. So people supported them to get back at Simon for all the bad music his domination has given to us. The media feed the trolls because the media can't get enough of Jedward and all that talent show stuff as much to a lot of people's disdain.

      Jedward got sixth place and after the success of the X Factor they recorded this album and where chosen to represent Ireland for the Eurovision song contest and got into the top 10. They went to a loony bin called Big Brother and got third place. But how the hell did they manage to do all of that after making this stink bomb? They're reality TV Tarts, one bad album will kill their career off.

      The album was released in 2010 and consisted of covers that raped childhood memories, but it's been released internationally and the track-list is very different and is more of a compilation so to make things clear, I'm reviewing the crappy cover album from 2010.

      The debut album is truly exceptional. Exceptionally bad which is exactly what they're great at. Their vocals anything but impressive and the album was a hit in Ireland because they're Irish and their album reached platinum status in Ireland because they're Irish. The album was panned to death by Scottish Critics so needless to say they flopped in Scotland.

      So the album starts with a mash up of Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby and Queen's collaboration with David Bowie called Under Pressure. Sounds pants don't it? It was a lot more funnier than I thought it would be though. I still think it's bad and cheesy but they manage to make it likeable. Not likeable enough for me though.

      Next up is a Blink-182 cover of All The Small Things. I thought the original was okay, but this version sounds exactly like the original. It's like they just took the track and quietly sang over it. The musical arrangements are pretty much the same and they add nothing new to it. And adding random audio doesn't make a difference. They don't add anything to the song and they take nothing away from it either.

      Ghostbusters is one that will stand out. The cover is just hilarious. They do these weird audio overs and robotic voices and the electronic guitar sound gets eaten up by the synthesisers. I feel old listening to this. Someone pass me my walking stick and hearing aid!

      Maybe Jedward aren't so bad after all. I think some of this is somewhat catchy it's exactly my sort of music. There are some really terrible moments to come in this album. Even though this album is only 35 minutes long, it sounds like the most craziest hour of your life.

      I was really disappointed in their version of I Like To Move It. The baseline shows potential and the song is catchy but like a lot of modern pop songs they get lost in the electronic beats which make them sound unpleasant. It reminds me of the electronic crap Black Eyed Peas release nowadays. I was expecting it to be funny, but it wasn't.

      "And wave 'em all around like we just don't care."
      Well I don't care much for this track.

      The last track of the album Pop Muzik pretty much describes the overall sound of the album. Silly immature cheesy and dated pop with electronic devices to make it sound more modern. Rock DJ and Teenage Kicks were not as terrible as I thought it would be because Jedward really did try their best. They do actually try to inject their own personality into the songs sometimes it's cute and other times it's annoying. For me I find it a bit more annoying but I do find them adorable despite their crimes against music.

      This album is terrible. I should hate it but somehow they make it work. I can see the effort in the production and I must give the team credit for actually put some energy into this. The album was ultimately ruined the lack of talent and inconsiderate choices of songs They sound like they're actually enjoying themselves. This is album is either a massive joke or brilliant trolling. If you ever want to laugh at bad music this is the album for you. If you want to listen to orgasmic music, then stay far away from this album: it kills boners.

      Under Pressure (Ice Ice Baby) - 2/5
      All The Small Things - 0/5
      Everybody - 2/5
      Ghostbusters - 3/5
      Fight For Your Right To Party 3-5
      I Want Candy - 1/5
      Jump - 1/5
      I Like To Move It - 1/5
      Rock DJ -3/5
      Teenage Kicks - 2/5
      Pop Muzik - 2/5

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    • Product Details

      Disc #1 Tracklisting
      1 Under Pressure (Ice Ice Baby)
      2 All The Small Things
      3 Everybody
      4 Ghostbusters
      5 Fight For Your Right To Party
      6 I Want Candy
      7 Jump
      8 I Like To Move It
      9 Rock DJ
      10 Teenage Kicks
      11 Pop Muzik