Wise men say only fools rush in... (All Time Greatest Hits - Elvis Presley)

Member Name: hogsflesh

Product:	All Time Greatest Hits - Elvis Presley
Date:	24/06/03 (4453 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: God damn it, it's the, King of rock and roll, what more, do you need to know?

Disadvantages: What? You think there could, be disadvantages to, Elvis? You're wrong, fool!

This is the best Elvis Greatest Hits album that I know of. A double CD containing a whopping 45 tracks, it covers pretty much all the bases. As such it's rather better than the recent Number Ones compilation, which only included songs that topped the charts (the Beatles' Red and Blue compilations are better than the "1" compilation for the same reason). The only thing missing from this collection is that 'Little Less Conversation' song that was used in the football advert during the world cup last year.

Because of the huge number of songs I'm only going to provide the briefest thumbnail sketches of most of them in order to save both space and precious, precious time.

The songs are arranged chronologically, so disk one begins with 'Heartbreak Hotel', 'Blue Suede Shoes' and 'Hound Dog'. As I understand it, music aficionados rate Elvis's earliest rock n roll songs as his most important achievement. Historically that may be true, but I've always rather preferred the later stuff. I'm sure you all know the songs anyway; 'Hound Dog's the best, a spiteful and deeply misogynist complaint about some trailer trash trying to get her claws into the youthful Presley. This is proper early Elvis, all sneers, mumbles and indecent pelvic action, a phenomenon that caused much parental disapproval and adolescent pant-wetting in 1956.

'Love Me Tender' follows, a classic love song that presumably was meant to show that Elvis had feelings. Never been too keen on this one, it's a bit slow. Next comes 'Too Much', the first song on the album that I genuinely and earnestly love. Elvis loves a girl too much. Surprisingly brazen in its sexual innuendo ('Now you've got me started don't you leave me broken hearted...') and nicely energetic, in spite of its slow tempo, this is a great song. Then we get 'All Shook Up', a similarly hormone-charged song (I
think we can all guess exactly what the young King was 'shaking up', eh?).

After that there's 'Teddy Bear', a pretty incomprehensible bit of twee. Apart from some vague bondage references ('Put your chain around my neck and lead me everywhere') it isn't that interesting. At least it's short. 'Paralysed' describes Elvis's inability to function on any level when he's around the girl of his dreams. It's rather anaemic and forgettable. 'Party' is quite fun, although there's a better version by Wanda Jackson which makes this sound weak by comparison.

Next we come to 'Jailhouse Rock', one of the greats. Fantastic guitar riff at the start, fabulous (if rather silly) lyrics; somehow a song that works in every way. Not sure what kind of prison would allow this kind of behaviour from its inmates - 'Rubber Bullets' by 10CC offers a slightly more realistic version of the same idea, but it's rubbish compared to this. The rather trying 'Don't' is a slow, mournful number, which seems to be a lament by Elvis about his girl refusing to give it up for him. All his persuasion avails him nothing, the girl's knickers remaining firmly on at the end of the song. Good for you, love.

'Wear my Ring Around your Neck' is very jaunty - Elvis wants his girl to, as the title implies, wear his ring around her neck (to tell the world she's his, by heck). (Why around her neck, though? Surely rings are designed to be worn on fingers? Is this an American custom I'm unaware of?) 'Hard Headed Woman' is kind of fun, with some good brass and guitar work. 'King Creole' is great stuff , although I've no idea what on earth it's about ('He holds his guitar like a tommy gun' - just like Iron Maiden do!) 'One Night' is a fine love song - some friends of mine put it to good use as their first dance when they got married.
<
br><br>It's about this time in his career, I think, that Elvis was forced to join the army by The Man. When he was discharged he somehow lost all his threat. He appeared in some of the least interesting B-movies of all time. I believe it's also around this time that he married that Scientologist. The music really starts to soar, now, getting better and better. 'A Fool Such As I' has insipid lyrics and some of the least restrained backing vocals I've ever heard. Lovely. The next two songs, 'A Big Hunk O' Love' and 'Stuck on You' aren't terribly memorable, at least to me, but after that the rest of Disk 1 is solid gold all the way.

The brilliant 'Girl of My Best Friend' is about Elvis loving his mate's girlfriend, poor guy. We're firmly into unthreatening pop music now, as opposed to the un-American rock n roll posturing that we got earlier. 'It's Now or Never' is rather overwrought, to the tune of 'O Sole Mio' (the old Cornetto ad). 'Are You Lonesome Tonight', in which Elvis wonders if his ex-girlfriend misses him like he misses her is brilliant, everything that the Beatles' 'Yesterday' tries to be, and it has the advantage of having quite the most entertaining spoken word middle section of any song until 'Green Green Grass of Home'. 'Wooden Heart' is one of my all time favourites. Most GIs brought something back with them from their time in West Germany, even if it was only a dose of clap. Elvis brought back this jolly little folksong, in which he urges his lady not to be nasty to him, because his heart is made of weaker material than wood. He even sings in German - a joy to behold.

'Surrender' is probably trying to be dark and brooding - it reminds me of a funny Cole Porter song about gypsies (from the musical 'Anything Goes') - blessed with excessive backing vocals, it's a great little song. 'Marie's t
he Name' complains, quite rightly in my view, that Elvis's girlfriend has dumped him for his best friend (and not even told him!), classic stuff. 'Can't Help Falling in Love' is simply astounding, a slushy ballad which somehow transcends the kitsch value of the music to deliver what almost amounts to a genuine emotional charge. 'Good Luck Charm' is a somewhat over-stretched conceit about Elvis's latest love being better than any number of lucky trinkets - it doesn't quite work, but fails honourably.

So, having already expended a thousand words, I find that I've only just got to Disk 2. Bah! 'She's Not You' is a rather petulant complaint that his current girlfriend isn't as good as his last one - a great song, but perhaps a tad mean-spirited. 'Return to Sender' is another only partially-successful conceit, in which Elvis's miffed girlfriend won't answer his letters. It contains glaring continuity errors, and we don't even get to find out why she's so angry with him. (Although given what I've read about Elvis's love life I can well imagine - not all girls are willing to perform lesbian acts wearing only white cotton panties while their boyfriends look on. More's the pity.) 'Devil in Disguise' continues Elvis's shocking run of bad luck in the girlfriend department, this one turning out to be none other than the Prince of Darkness himself, albeit well disguised (she 'looks like an angel, walks like and angel, talks like an angel' - how exactly do angels walk anyway?).

'Crying in the Chapel', one of the only religious songs on this collection, is OK, but has never really filled me with enthusiasm. It's a bit too straight-faced to laugh at, but not quite done well enough to appreciate on its own terms. 'Love Letters' is similarly a bit drab. But no matter. The next four songs make up for everything. In fact, if there are fo
ur better songs in a row on any other album, anywhere, I'd like to know about it. Not even 'Scott Walker sings Jacques Brel' can match this sequence.

'If I Can Dream' is Elvis's impassioned plea for world peace. He screams himself hoarse trying to get the world to listen - if only Nixon and Brezhnev had, eh? 'In The Ghetto' highlights the plight of America's urban poor, telling the tale of a young man who tries to solve his problems by turning to crime, and ends up dead for his trouble. A truly mournful Elvis, accompanied by almost hysterical backing singers, elevates this song above practically everything else on the album. 'Suspicious Minds' is its only serious contender, a repetitive song about how his girlfriend doesn't trust him, but somehow greater than the sum of its parts, and probably most representative of all that's good about late Elvis. The quartet of genius is rounded off with 'Don't Cry Daddy', a song in which a widowed Elvis is pulled from the brink of despair by his children. Maudlin pap it may be, but maudlin pap doesn't come better than this.

1500 words now. Sorry. 'The Wonder of You' and 'I Just Can't Help Believing' are great live performances. 'An American Trilogy' seems to be a medley of Deep South civil war songs, and is frankly hilarious, but in a good way. 'Burning Love' is a great sing-along, 'Always on my Mind' is really rather lovely. 'My Boy' is about a marriage breaking up, and the likely effects on the child, but it doesn't come close to 'Don't Cry Daddy'. 'Suspicion' is an inferior follow-up to 'Suspicious Minds', with the roles reversed. 'Moody Blue', 'Way Down' and 'It's Only Love' are all great final tracks, but I've rambled on too much as it is.

So that's the compilation. A whistle-stop tour of Elvis's greatest (or
at least most famous) moments. As such I would suggest that it's essential, and that anyone who doesn't own it should rectify that as soon as possible.

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