Where Are My Goddamn Fighting Dinosaurs? (The Battle - Russell Allen)

Member Name: Frankingsteins

Product:	The Battle - Russell Allen
Date:	12/01/08 (41 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Vocalists of some repute meet a multi-talented musician.

Disadvantages: The result is boring, weak and dishonest.

Call me Mr. Picky, but if an album's artwork promises a violent encounter between fantastical riders on a mammoth and a ceratopsid with lances at the ready, I'm going to be a little disappointed when 'Another Battle' turns out to be a bland lament about a relationship breakdown. It's clear that this entire project, engineered and written entirely by Magnus Karlsson (who plays all the instruments aside from the drums), is merely a vehicle to combine two of the most sensational vocalists in the heavy metal world. Apparently.

Unfortunately, 'The Battle' between Symphony X's Russell Allen and Masterplan's Jørn Lande is something the listener will spend the entire album awaiting to no avail, assuming that unlike me, their interest didn't wane increasingly with each tedious offering before the whole thing became a serious chore to get through. The two singers possess a sufficiently different range for this to work, on the six songs that they are actually pitted against each other (in an amicable, supportive arrangement, of course), but Lande's higher notes unfortunately lead to that singer being far more prominent in the album's very worst offerings, leading to the superior hard rock stylings of Allen being overshadowed. Symphony X are one of the foremost bands of progressive metal, combining neoclassical guitar and keyboard flourishes with an American thrash style that has produced some of my favourite albums of all time. Masterplan are power metal or something, apparently, but I haven't heard of them. With their powers combined, what on Earth will be the result?

An incredibly weak melodic rock album is the answer. Barely clinging on to its supposed metal roots with a few nice guitar solos and riffs recycled from Queensrÿche, I can't imagine a two-disc collection of 'The Weakest Hair Metal Power Ballads of the 80s... Ever!' sounding less effeminate than this. There's nothing wrong with not being metal of course (well, there is really, but let's pretend I have a reasonable world view), but this album is clearly targeted at the metal crowd with its prominent frontmen. If Karlsson wants to make an album of easily digestible light rock anthems, he could at least have the decency to admit it, without raising unrealistic hopes for some heavy metal about battles. Both singers adapt a significantly more pop-oriented style perfectly suited to these melodic songs, mostly based on mediocre hard rock guitar riffs but occasionally and horribly on piano, but it's Allen who retains the most dignity. He's already explored a pop vocal direction in some of Symphony X's past songs (the boy band chorus of 'Out of the Ashes' and the weird refrain of 'Wicked' spring to mind), and although he has to contend with some awful lyrics here, he's at least spared the ballads.

'Reach a Little Longer' is the most significantly vomit-inducing five minutes of this tedious hour, and Lande makes it much worse by really getting into it, making silly hum sounds and pretending to ad-lib/scat over the final guitar solo. I'm sure it wouldn't offend most casual listeners quite as much, as the whole idea of an album based entirely around the singer is something you don't really get in metal: even the side projects of prominent vocalists tend to be as heavy and band-oriented as their customary outfits (things like Bruce Dickinson, Halford and Dio). Not all of the album is terrible, and there are some parts that are saved by pleasant lead guitar melodies (such as 'Wish for a Miracle' and 'Truth About Our Time') before these too become overly repetitive, while 'My Own Way Home' stood out as being the most successful meeting of all the instruments. The rest of the album is an incredibly dull, pop rock affair that I'd be embarrassed if caught listening to (I had to turn it down in case my flatmates thought I was normal or something), spoiled further by some really bad lyrics about boring stuff like love and the world rather than prehistoric monsters fighting, that's what I like. The worst thing is, they did it all again...

1. Another Battle
2. Hunter's Night
3. Wish for a Miracle
4. Reach a Little Longer
5. Come Alive
6. Truth About Our Time
7. My Own Way Home
8. Ask You Anyway
9. Silent Rage
10. Where Have the Angels Gone
11. Universe of Light
12. The Forgotten Ones

Summary: Allen-Lande's first album (2005).