999,998 dollars...999,999 dollars... (The Million Dollar Hotel)

Member Name: shanecahill

Product:	The Million Dollar Hotel
Date:	10/03/02 (231 review reads)
Rating:

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As some of you may or may not know, I am a U2 fan. May I point out however, that I am not enough of a U2 to go out and spend 15.99 or whatever on a CD which has ONE previously unreleased U2 song, and three songs from Bono . However, I saw this CD for 5.99 before this damned Euro came into Ireland, and I decided that if it has Bono, U2, Daniel Lanois AND Brian Eno that's good enough for me.

This is, as the title suggests, the soundtrack to The Million Dollar Hotel, hence my clever name for this opinion. The film is supposed to be rubbish, although who am I to judge? I haven't seen it. It's supposed to be very arty and the like, so its not really my type of film. It's also, I think, partly directed by Bono, and let's not kid ourselves people, Bono can talk a load of old cobblers when he's in the right mood. Yet, I digress. The music...

The majority of these songs are performed by the MDH (Million Dollar Hotel) band and tghis consists of Bono, Daniel Lanois, Jon Hassell, Brian Eno, Greg Cohen, Brian Blade, Adam Dorn and Bill Frisell. Now I could have put what instruments they all play, but it would just be blatantly copying the sleeve to fill up space and it helps nobody. I just want to give you an idea of the star studded line up. The three with the heaviest influence seem to be Bono, Eno and Lanois which
means that this album has an almost dreamlike effect, almost the signature of a Brian Eno record.

The Ground Beneath Her Feet - U2

A lot of you will know this one if you picked up a copy of the album All That You Can't Leave Behind. A light drum beat from our boy Larry Mullen Jr. starts it off, before Edge shows us what his guitar is made of (mostly strings and metal of some sort). Bono adopts an almost breathless tone, as he pants out the lyrics, which were written by the "famous" author Salman Rushdie (feel free to replace the word famous with boring).
Suddenly it all goes quiet and
Bono sings "Oh come back above where there is only love" and we are treated to a short snippet of guitar. It is the closing song on the new album and the opener on this. Personally, I think it's a better closer, but hey! I'm not a producer am I? I really like this song so I'll give it:

9/10

Never Let Me Go - Bono and the MDH Band

We continue in a U2 vein (of sorts). Here, we are "treated" to a soundbyte from the film which is just weird. Some guy comes on and starts saying how great things are such as TV. No, I don't know what it means either, but I'd rather it didn't interfere with the music. Luckily the song itself is good.
Tambourine beats, form the backbone of this song (again played by Larry) and a wind instrument of some sort plays. This is such a lazy dreamy song, you can just float away. The lyrics are suspect at times, such as "Maybe I was blind, or I might have closed my eyes". however a magnificent performance from Bono rescues this song, and the chorus is excellent. Worth a listen, but not spectacular

7\10

Stateless - U2

At last we reach the new U2 song. Well, knock me down wiv a fever! It ain't half bad. Another song heavily laid down with the usual trance like Eno and Lanois mark. It is a very complete song, unlike some of the other songs on this album which seemed rushed and patchy at times. The chorus I especially like, it has a good beat to it as you kids would say. Near the end, it goes fast all of a sudden and Edge does the usual high-pitched backing vocals and Bono does the whole "I'm a rock God" bit. It's hard to know that I actually like Bono sometimes, isn't it? A truly wonderful song, but worth buying the album for? In a word, no.

9\10

Satellite Of Love - Milla Jovovich

Yes, it is the Lou Reed song. Yes, it is a female vocalist. Yes, it is that actress. And Oh yes, she does
make an absolute mess of it. Now, I've always liked this song and I was extremely sceptical when I thought of a woman singing the low tones of Lou. But my God, was I right to be sceptical.

It all starts off so well and all. Trumpt plays, light drums beat and Milla sings quietly. It's soothing, it's relaxing and it's not terrible! I'm smiling. Then, for some reason Milla decides she no longer wants this to be a good song, and figures that the best way to spoil this song would be TO SCREAM IN A LOUD IRRITATING VOICE!!! I kid you not. She screams the whole way through the last verse, and it really does have to be heard to be believed. By the way, I'm not saying that her singing is like screaming, she ACTUALLY does scream. Go figure.

A very disapointing 2\10

Falling At Your Feet - Bono and the MDH Band

Recovered from my outrage? Good. Now we have another Bono song. This is probably my favourite of his songs on the album. It launches straight into the song and Bono and an excellent back-up singer go through all the things that are falling at your feet, These can be clever, and they can be a bit hurried. Here's the first verse:
"Every chip from every cup.
Every promise given up,
Every reason that's not enough,
is falling, falling at your feet."

The highlight of this song is where the back-up singer croons "All fall down" and Bono whispers over him. At times this song sounds like a hymn, which can be a good or bad thing. In this case it's .............GOOD! I just thought I'd build the suspense. A nice easy-listening song.

8\10

Tom Tom's Dream : The MDH Band

At only 1.52, it's hardly worth a mention. However, that would be just plain lazy. So what I'll do is give it the smallest mention I can get away with. Trumpet plays and very little else. You can hear some noises in the background but not enough to make out
any specific instrument. It, once again, has that dreamlike quality and reminds me of Treefingers from Kid A. That's enough said really, it would be unfair to rate it so I will :-)

4\10 because at least there is no screaming.

The First Time - U2

Yes, now this is a song. From the album Zooropa, this is sheer quality. It starts with a very slow guitar riff which repeats constantly throughout. It's basically Bono over a guitar throughout, and believe me this is one of U2's best songs. The lyrics are absolutely fantatstic, such as:
"My father is a rich man, he wears a rich man's cloak,
Gave me the keys to his kingdom (coming), gave me a cup of gold,
He said "I have many mansions, and there are many rooms to see,
But I left through the back door and I threw away the key"

There are lots of other great lyrics, but I don't want to undermine your intelligence and fill up space with the whole song now, do I? This is easily the best song on the album, and is a great song to listen to when you're depressed (if like me you listen to depressing songs when you're depressed which you almost certainly don't). This might be worth getting the album for, but then it's on Zooropa which is far better than this. Still it earns itself:

10/10

Bathtub - MDH Band

This is another minute and six second long waste of time. Light pucked guitar over some mechanical whirring, before some wind instrument (A trumpet I think. Who am I to judge?) plays softly and not very well. For about 30 seconds. And before you know it, c'est fini. What's going on? It is very relaxing but it really is a poor excuse for a song. This album is full of these songs and they can get very irritating as you are conned into thinking there are a lot of tracks on the CD, then you bring it home and there is only feckin' 7 or 8 real tracks on it, and even these start to blend into each ot
her thanks to this crap. But I rant on.

3\10 but only because I'm feeling generous. I just found a voucher for a free packet of crisps in my bag. I'm QUITE pleased with myself.

The First Time (reprise) - Daniel Lanois and the MDH band

Well yes it is rather good, but a reprise? Well, yes actually it is a good thing they did. This is slow and melodic with a host of guitars, very light drums and no vocals. It may be only a few seconds over two minutes but unlike most of the others, this is worth a place on the album.

While at times it is unrecognisable from the real song, it is always haunting and extremely well produced. It's added to the pile of good songs on this album (a shockingly small pile, may I point out). I'll give it a satisfactory:

7\10

Tom Tom's Room - Brad Mehldau with Bill Frisell

Another exploit in "The Continuing Adventures Of Bungalow Tom Tom". Or something. This one starts of promisingly and just as you're starting to float away you're brought back with a jolt as you realise they decided that they thought another soundbite from the film would be a good idea. It wasn't.

Did you ever want to hear Jeremy Davies and Milla Jovovich discussing how she shave d her "beaver"? No me neither. But look! Here it is! HOORAY!

1\10 because I feckin' hate it.

Funny Face - The MDH Band

Oh joy. A 32 second song. Picture a carnival atmosphere, bells ringing and children playing. this is what I see when I hear this song, but not for very bloody long. I mean, I like trying new things, but the only song under a minute that I've ever thought worth making was Parachutes by Coldplay. This is another waste of space. It could be fun if it was jazzed up a bit, made about 3 minutes longer and had vocals. As it is, it's instantly forgettable and irritating. I feel like a Pop Idol judge. Next!

2\10

Dan
cin' Shoes - Bono and the MDH band

The first song in the last five to actually have vocals, and they are left in the capable (if slightly shaky at times) hands of Bono. He tries something different by making himself sound like an idiot and succeeds admirably (at making himself sound like an idiot, not at making a good song). He finaly reverts to his proper voice half way through, but even that isn't enough to save this song. Not terrible but it is so far from classic that's it's villagers talk of it in revered and hushed tones).

4\10

Amsterdam Blue (Cortege) - Jon Hassell, Gregg Arrequin, Jamie Muhoberac and Peter Freeman

This is truly an album of extremes. The last five songs have been under 2 and a half minutes, while this is over 9 minutes long (9:18 to be exact). And it's quite good! Recorded live, I'd have to imagine it put the audience to sleep well before the three minute mark.

Drums beat frequently but softly and that trumpet plays in it's almost breathless way. It continyes like this for, well for 9:18 really. Slightly drags, but still a welcome change from the river of excretement we've been wading through.

7\10

Satellite Of Love (reprise) - the MDH band featuring Daniel Lanois, Bill Frisell and Greg Cohen

Seeing as we all enjoyed the first one SOOO much (the sarcasm runs thick), we are blessed with a reprise. I know I'm getting more rage-filled throughout, but you've got to appreciate the fact that I thought this would be good. This actually is not too bad. Wanna know why? No bloody screaming, that's why. Two reprises are too many by one (maybe two?) however and this is just a bit samey.

Filled with sound effects and bells, and notching in at 1:06, it's another one of those "Good idea but you really b*******d it up, didn't you?" songs. I'll give it an overly generous

5\10

And as if they had
n't mutilated Lou Reed's song enough...

Satellite Of Love (Danny Saber Remix) - Milla Jovovich (AHHH!) with Jon Hassell and Danny Saber

Oh dear God, will the torture never cease? Her again. I bet somebody thought "well seeing as she made a complete show of herself already, we might as well finish her off". Having said that this is passable as a real song. This is even more dreamlike than the other two, and the chorus is listenable. We even get a hint of Bono in there somewhere.

However she still screams and it is still pretty poor, so a better-than-the-last-but-still-bad

3\10

Anarchy In The USA - Tito Larriva and the MDH Band

Yes it is a Sex Pistols cover and no I don't know why they covered it (badly). I didn't like the original and I don't like this. It's loud, punkish and every thing I hate in a song. It sounds like a million other punk songs and I'm sick of this album by the time it comes around so that doesn't help either. For God's sake, will someone turn off the bloody stereo!

3\10

So we have a grand total of 84 out of 160, which as a percentage is about 52.5%. That earns this a three star rating, which it doesn't deserve but I don't want to doubt the marking system, so 3 stars it is.

I was dissapointed, I am dissapointed and I will continue to be dissapointed with this album. If it wasn't for the U2 songs this would be the worst album I have. Approach with severe caution, and do not hire Milla Jovovich to sing ever. I've been Shane Cahill, thank you and good night.

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