* Prices may differ from that shown
*Technically this is in the wrong place. I do apologise, but I wanted to review T in the Park while it was fresh in my head. Its a review of T2002, because Dooyoo havent created a category for it despite my insistent demands.* Well the impossible happened. The sun shone on the fields of Balado and for once they stayed green and didn’t turn into a brown mushy mess. While the Friday night was cool and there was a good amount of rain, I woke up at 7am on Saturday morning with the sun blazing through my tent, the birdies chirping and the bees humming, and about a million excited happy campers running around getting ready for the day ahead. Sunday dawned as chilly and windy but with no rain and it brightened up by the afternoon. And it wasn’t only the weather that was scorching. The lineup this year had to be the best ever, with something for everyone. For the mosh kids, there was the Foo Fighters, Greenday, the rather brilliant Hives, Hoobastank, A, Hundred Reasons, Idlewild and loads of other bands across the NME and King Tut’s stages. For those in love with the nineties indie days there was Oasis, Primal Scream and Ian Brown, and for us indie kids it was complete heaven with all of the above plus Badly Drawn Boy, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Cooper Temple Clause, The Dandies, and more still. And lets not forget the slam tent, which this year included Slam (duh), Groove Armada (YAY!), and Orbital, plus loads of other names who I didn’t recognise (being an indie kid) but the club kids probably would, plus the Beat 106 bus on the campsite hosted Tom Wilson, who I’m told was some massive nineties old skool DJ. The atmosphere throughout the weekend was the usual expectant buzz, with people waiting with bated breath for Saturday’s biggie Oasis and Sunday’s respective headliners the Chemical Brothers, Air, Orbital and Ian Brown. However it was heightened this year by a more di verse crowd than usual. While there was far more neds than I like to see (sorry for the judgement, but if I see one more pair of gleaming white Nikes or hear the dreaded words “Here we, here we, here we f**king go I will vomit on the nearest passing schemie), there was also a lot more skater kids than usual, although less indie kids (which is a shame, there was enough cute lads with Oasis hair dammit). No matter who you went to see, or whether you just downed far too many Tennants, red wines or bacardis and passed out on the grass, this year was a winner with everyone! The boring stuff- Tickets are priced at £35 for the day, £55 for the weekend (I think) and £79 for weekend and camping (all subject to booking fee). Some years this can mean a waste of space as the T in the P lineup can be fairly yawnsome, but this year well worth the cash. The toilets were disgusting as you might expect, and more. A tip, take plenty of loo roll with you, but then you knew that already. And, according to the note inside the toilet, do not tip it over. Right, because that was my first impulse. Alternatively, if you’re a lad, find the nearest wall/fence. Having said that, even the women were peeing in public this year, due to the rather gross toilets. The campsite was merely an enormous, labyrinthine, hilly field, with enough (and more) stones to make tent pitching hazardous, enough hills to ensure, should there be rain, the place will be full of muddy pits, and refreshingly badly laid out. I managed to pitch my tent on the exact opposite side of the site to the buses, ensuring an hour-long walk with all my camping gear late on Sunday night. Wonderful. The food consists mostly of burgers, hot dogs and yet more burgers. The campsite was terrible for this, with not much in the way of breakfast food, and any veggies or vegans are pretty screwed, so it’s a good idea to take your own food if three days of eating entire cows doesn’t appeal to you. On the festival site is better, with creparies, veggie food stalls and plenty more to feast on. The prices were disgustingly overblown as you might expect. A 500ml bottle of water cost £1.00 while small bottled soft drinks like Irn Bru were a mere £2.00. Food on the site was about a pound more expensive than food on the campsite. Once again, the answer appears to be to bring your own food. One major complaint is the lack of environmental concern. Unlike Glasto, after day one, the entire site was absolutely littered with beer cans and paper food plates and cups. The bins were overflowing and never seemed to be emptied. One real bummer, otherwise the site wasn’t as bad. Probably because it wasn’t churned to mud for once. The Main Stage- Much the same as it usually is, a cavernous stage with massive T in the Park posters on either side, flanked by two screens, plus another one further back for those who couldn’t get anywhere near Liam’s smelly camouflage jacket. T in the Park isn’t the biggest of festivals, if you go there two years running then you get to know the site like the back of your hand (something I suspect you could never do at Glastonbury), and while this can be a blessing when trying to find your tent at midnight or find your way to the shuttle buses (it took me at least an hour and half to walk from where my tent was pitched to the shuttle buses, so I feel very sorry for those getting the bus to and from Glasto), when a band as massive as Oasis play its more of a hindrance, as the other stages across T in the Park were more or less emptied. The main stage has the opposite problem during the day, when the more minor bands (how in the HELL did Polyphonic Spree, Proud Mary, Beverley Knight and Soundtrack of our Lives get onto the main stage!) play, as the site is more or less empty. Here’s a list of the bands that played the main stage- Sat urday Oasis- You may have heard of them. Primal Scream- Psychedelic Scots and radical agitators, who had a new song called “Bomb the Pentagon”, which, naturally had to be changed after prophesising the Sept 11. events. Gomez- Like many winners of the Mercury Music Prize, they disappeared. Unlike many, they reappeared stronger than before. The combine every musical taste you can think of reggae, country, electronic, funk and wrap it up in a neat rock package. No Doubt- the boys will no doubt be flocking to the stage for a look at mad outfitted Gwen, and the girls will be flocking to the stage to see what mad outfit Gwen is wearing. The ex-ska punk poppers have now turned into bubblegum hip hoppers, I change I’m not very happy about despite the annoying catchiness and grindability of “Hey Baby”. Starsailor- I ran as far away from that main stage as I could when I heard the dreaded strains of James Walsh’s tortured vocals. Cute he is, talented, well that’s another question. But I can’t deny the amazing popularity of this lot, with their pure pop-tailored indie tunes, and those three tunes you either love or loathe, “Good Souls”, “Alcoholic” and “Poor Misguided Fool”. The Dandy Warhols- YAY!!! I got what I expected, a boiling hot afternoon with the psychedelic chill out of the Dandy Warhols, before them slamming the point home with “Bohemian Like You” and “Get Off” and “Not if you were the Last Junkie on Earth”. Proud Mary- Indie rockers with the Gallagher seal of approval, and the Manchester band are the first signing to Liam’s label Sour Mash. The Polyphonic Spree- I avoided this lot because I’m not sure I could handle anything weird on a Saturday morning after a few thousand cans (or crates) of beer. And twenty odd people wearing white robes on stage is just too wei rd for my liking. I suspect they put them on the main stage because there were so damn many of them. Why else? I do not know. Sunday The Chemical Brothers- Upset at them closing the stage. Give us some ROCK for Gawd’s sake, so long as it isn’t those damn Gallaghers. I avoided this one by heading for King Tut’s Wah Wah Tent and the joys of that former Stone Rose. The Foo Fighters- Front man Dave Grohl is Nirvana’s ex-drummer. A man of many talents! Missed them but I could here “Monkey Wrench”, “hero” and “Everlong” belting out over the entire site. Is Dave Grohl leaving for QOTSA? Don’t know, not really bothered. This isn’t really to my taste, but provided a welcome distraction from Greenday. Greenday- Ancient punk poppers you may have heard of. Their hit list is long than the tentacle of a giant squid. Lets see, there’s Basket Case, Poprocks and Coke (which is a reference to that urban legend if you eat them together you explode. Its significance to the song? Pfff, they just chose it because it sounded good if you ask me), Longview, Good Riddance and the defiant sing along of Minority. Piles of skate kids watched this lot. Piles of skate kids at the front scrapped and moshed it out, piles of skate kids at the back got stoned. Just another workday for Greenday. The Hives- YES!!! Self-celebratory Swedish garage pop punkers with bigger attitudes than the Gallaghers (but in a nice, tongue-in-cheek way), a larger than life bassist (or guitarist?) who looks like an eighties porn star, and identical suits with white ties. Another band gaining success off the backs of the Strokes, although they’ve been going for twice as long and have a rockier, punkier feel than the bubblegum garage rock of The Strokes. Absolutely blinding band, see the review! Jimmy Eat World- YES AGAIN! Having seen this lot previously, I was dying to see them again, bu t a brilliant band in King Tuts called the Shining (and some cute denim-coated indie boy) kept me from the main stage. This lot look like accountants, don’t mutilate small fluffy animals, don’t appear to be tattooed and pierced and on the whole seem to be personality free, but hell they rock. With riffs bigger than Cooper Temples Clauses hair, a grade A drummer and a chunky vocalist with the most beautiful, inspiring soaring voice your likely to hear for some time (Matt Bellamy non-withstanding, he’s a woman in disguise). Singer Jim sums his band up perfectly here “I found it was more challenging to write concise pop songs than get really progressive and abstract”. That’s not what you were saying on the last LP, mate! Mull Historical Society- Played King Tuts last year as more or less unknown, now they’re getting a lot of exposure. But to be honest I know nothing about them. Beverley Knight- Another one I know little about, but you’ve probably heard “Who I Am” and “Shoulda Coulda Woulda” . There’s always one artist on the bill who makes you think, “what the hell are you doing here?” this year its Beverley Knight. Soundtrack of our Lives- As with Mull Historical Society, sorry! The NME stage- Previously just called stage two, but this year brought to you by the worlds best/most annoying/worst/most misguided (delete as applicable) music paper. Which, to me, means some bloody great bands! Small enough to seem intimate and to allow the smaller bands a good following, but big enough for the like of the Parkinsons and the Cooper Temples Clause to do stupid stuff like climb up the amps and throw things at the audience (or in case of the Parkinsons guitarist, try to climb up the ropes, get stuck and dangle there for about a minute before giving up and climbing back down). Host to some of this years best acts, everyone from the accl aimed but very minor Seafood to the absolute shining pop brilliance of Idlewild to the Big Calm of Morcheeba. There are far too many skater-y bands for my liking, but anyone who hosts Idlewild and the Cooper Temples on the same day is my new favourite magazine. Here’s the lineup- Saturday Basement Jaxx- Altogether now “WHERE’S YOUR HEAD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT”. Its one of those songs that have the majority of people bouncing about like a lunatic. I’m sorry I missed this lot, if purely for the genius of THAT song. I just love it. And the video with the monkeys always makes me laugh. I’m getting way off track. Morcheeba- Described by the sponsors themselves as “bewildering scratch-hop-country-reggae-trance-pop”. Erm OK. Maybe not the best live prospect because of the chilled nature of the material, but a good act all the same. Idlewild- Best band ever. Singer goes by the name of Roddy Woomble and looks like a god (albeit a skinny one in need of a haircut) and the voice of an angel (or not. He’s a bit gruff for all that). Indie rock tykes with intelligence, this is bookish, smart rock with Roddy dripping names like Gertrude Stein and post modern, and taking the mick out of fake people in several of his wonderful songs including Little Discourage and American English. Straying away from convention with influences ranging from Black Flag, Sonic Youth, REM, Nirvana, the Stooges, and early dischord punk, unusual song titles, and avoiding love songs because “there’s enough in the world already”, Idlewild certainly odd ducks. Odd ducks set for world domination, but still! A. Boring punky-emo-metal outfit with big jeans, a bleached, spiky headed singer, big jeans and tunes made for poging to. Inspired a mosh pit full of sweaty teens. Yawn. Less Than Jake- A band I don’t know anything about again, although from what I hear its typical skat e-core. The Cooper Temple Clause- Massive hair and even bigger tunes, this lot have people scratching their heads in confusion and jumping about at the same time. Fairly original with their spacey electronic jingles mixed in with hard driving, scuzzy guitar tunes and Liam-esque vocals. Completely schizophrenic music with influence from the Pixies to Pink Floyd, this lot are incredibly weird, and put on a bit of a weird live show too (possibly because the singer was sparkled). Rival Schools- Reckless punk rock. So I’m told. Hoobastank- I saw this lot opening for Incubus and all I can say is they’re an uninspiring heavy band verging on nu-metal. Halo- don’t know anything about this one. Sunday- Air- Deep, bizarre, tripping, chilled out music. Not an exciting prospect live, especially given the arrogant nature of the band, but nevertheless some great tunes. “Sexy Boy” is bound to be a highlight with its grinding sounds, homoerotic overtones and near whispered (in French) verses. The Doves- Lovely, perfect indie pop tunes that you could take your dad to see. Once again, not the most thrilling live prospect. The Beta Band- Despite the hype I don’t know a lot about these lads. The music is tripped out psychedelica with melodic overtones. Once again, a fairly chilled out run up to the closing of the festival. Hundred Reasons- Now THAT’S more like it. Last year they were supporting the rather dull likes of My Vitriol, now they’ve succeeded them in popularity. This is intelligent music for the fifteen-year-old skater kids out there. It’s catchy and punky enough to allow them to love it, but it has depth, character and intelligence to it. They play fantastic live shows too. [SPUNGE]- One of the leading British ska-punk bands apparently. Which says nothing to me unfortunately! Biffy Clyro- Apparently a rather damn fine band, w ho I think are from Glasgow and are (so I’ve been told) along the Idlewildy lines. Seafood- A singer/drummer who also happens to be female? And that’s just the beginning. King Tut’s fave (that’s the hut, not the tent), are intelligent, tuneful and just pleasant to listen to. Great live performances too! Dog- Have never heard of them, and I reckon they have made a bad choice with the name (must resist all puns). The Parkinson’s- Portuguese punk nutters (and a Scottish sticksman) who liked to get naked onstage and climb up their amplifiers. Good call. King Tut’s Wah Wah Tent- Cavernous tent which is host to some fine up and coming acts over the weekend. Naturally, it is put on by King Tut’s Wah Wah Hut in Glasgow, which is the best place in the UK to go and see small acts live. King Tuts (the tent and the hut) started the Gallagher brothers’ meteoric rise to the top rock n roll act in Britain (so we have them to blame then). King Tuts starts off in the way it always does, with minor but usually damn fine bands, and moving up to pretty impressive headliners (Badly Drawn Boy and Ian Brown this year). Because I haven’t heard of a lot of the bands playing the tent, please forgive the lack of comments concerning some of them. Saturday Badly Drawn Boy- Absolutely love pop jingles with nice guitar melodies, surely you can’t have missed the rise of this lad? As famous for his appearance (chubby, bearded and never seen without one of a collection of stripy beanie hats) as he is for his tunes, this little pop puppy might not be the most mosh-pittable live prospect, and he’ll be struggling to fill the tent (because of those damn Gallagher Brothers) but anyone with half a brain will be going to watch him over those arrogant twats Oasis. Why do you think I went to see Oasis? The Coral. Liverpudlian neo-psychedelia, and long time mates of the Mus ic I gather (given they always tour as co-headliners). Black Rebel Motorcycle Club- Scuzzy retro rockers often pigeon holed with the Strokes and the Hives, but really are nothing at all like them. Where the Strokes are the Velvet Underground, BRMC are the Jesus and Mary Chain, to the point of being a tribute band almost. They give great image onstage, all fuzzy hair, black leather and usually with very dimmed onstage lights, which leaves a silhouetted bassist looking like an iconic retro rock and roll star. They’ve had three brilliant singles to date, the slow burning (no pun intended) “Love Burns”, its scuzzy guitars providing a nice break from the clichéd lyrics, the sulky “Whatever Happened to my Rock n Roll” which screams and throws tantrums and throttles guitars while asking just that, and the bouncy sing along fest “Spread your Love”. They’re going straight to the top. Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros. Haven. The Music- Somewhere along the lines of the Stone Roses and the Verve, only with not nearly as much potential for brilliance, although they aren’t at all bad. They’ve had two singles, “The People” and the delightfully titled “You Might As Well Try and F**k Me”. Athlete. The Leaves. Ashton Lane. Sunday Ian Brown- Oh baby. The beloved monkey-faced Stone Rose with his massive attitude, near black eyes and massive personality returns to King Tut’s after four years absence (am I the only one who fancies him?). He played a blinding set (what I seen of it) in King Tuts to a crowded house. Mercury Rev- Dreamy, fuzzy and massive tunes your bound to have heard of. Uplifting and positively wave-your-lighter-in-the-air fantastic, I’m a new convert after seeing them last night. Perhaps a lot softer than I usually like my indie, but a good tune is a good tune. Sonic Youth- Hey, Idlewild like them. That’s a good enough reason for me! Still going strong after all the time. Electric Soft Parade. <br>Cornelius. The Shining- Swaggering rock n roll which brings to mind the Roses and the Verve (just as well because it’s the brainchild of Simon Jones and Simon Tong). They played a brilliant set in the mid afternoon dullness of King Tuts to a packed (for the afternoon) tent. Delta Kid Galahead. Myslovitz. The Slam Tent- I avoided this like the plague for several reasons. First of all, it’s the main reason neds visit T in the Park. Secondly dance isn’t really my thing. Third, seeing piles of people popping pills and snorting lines freaks me out a bit, and lastly, after about three o’clock the Slam tent is so crowded there’s a massive queue to get it. Which is a shame, as I’d like to have seen Groove Armada. So this is what I know about the slam tent- it’s a dance tent and slam play every year. That’s about it really. Here’s the lineup- Saturday- Slam Youngsters Andy Weatherall Groove Armada (sob!) DJ Q] Tom Middleton’s Cosmo’s Harry Choo Choo Romero Dot Allison George T Sunday- Richie Hawtin Orbital Marco Carola & Gaetano Green Velvet Layo & Bushwacka FC Kahuna Percy X Master H Cinephile There you have it, the set list for the greatest T in the Park ever, yet (lets hope next year is as good!) There are only two things that could have made this festival better for me- The Strokes and the Charlatans (although the Vines might have been nice) but hey, you can’t have everything. Here’s some reviews of the best bands I seen (I left out one or two, such as BRMC and Primal Scream, because I only seen half the s et, or in the Scream’s case, they were disappointing)- The Dandy Warhols- I managed to get right into the front section for this (there are barriers and then a small area where some lucky ducks get to get very near the bands) and everyone was waiting to hear THAT song. You know that song. The ultimate festival song, last years catchiest and/or most irritating track, the one everyone knows all the words to, not just the chorus. Of course, it’s “Bohemian Like You”. And the Dandies don’t disappoint. Sexy Courtney, Zia and co. shuffle onstage and begin playing the most chilled out tune I’ve ever heard (unfortunately I can’t remember which one it was). They bring the scorching, sunburnt crowd into their psychedelic world for most of their set list, with Zia McCabe looking intolerably and enviably sexy in jeans (I’ve never seen anyone dance so sexily while hardly moving and banging and tambourine against one hip) a cropped shirt and a cowboy hat, and Courtney oozing over confident cool in his usual way. The set is refined, with gentle hip swinging and no jumping around, just as you might expect from this lot of expert stoners. Then, after a long, drawn out guitar squall, they bounce into action with “Not if you were the Last Junkie on Earth” which most of the crowd recognises and starts singing back to them. Then of course there’s “Every day should be a Holiday” which everyone loves. But, of course, its not until they’re second last song, “Bohemian Like You” that they really wake every one up. Hammering the point home with the sugarcoated, melodic riffs and daft lyrics, the entire crowd is with them at this point; this should have been the finale. They played another after it, which I think was Get Off (I left at this point so I could see the Cooper Temples) which has done well, but Bohemian was made for finishing their sets on. But nevertheless, a good gig. T he Cooper Temple Clause- The singer is f**ked. He’s beyond f**ked. Methinks he’s been taking one too many pro pluses (ahem. No, I’m not that naïve). The Cooper Temples slouch sexily and moodily onto the stage, with their massive haircuts and even bigger attitude problems. During the long electronic interludes in the songs, the singer wanders about looking pissed off. When he finally is forced to sing, he screams, spits and bellows, dropping to floor at strategic points and beginning the usual routine of bouncing around, while the other members are more or less stationary. They play a short explosive set, including the slightly dull (for them anyway) “Who Needs Enemies” and the weirdest song to ever get into the charts “Lets Kill Music”. The highlight has to be “Panzer Attack”. The vocals are spat our with startling ferocity, pain and power, the schizophrenic song lurching from one speed to another, from the pogoing ‘chorus bits’ (with a song like this there are no clear definitions) and the ear splitting, heart breaking, slower parts. Soon we find the singer climbing up the side of the stage and yelling at everyone from up there. Then he takes out some white tape and begins taping the stage up. Then he drops to the floor, takes out his water bottle and begins pouring the water onto the floor, watching it with stoned fascination. Yep he’s f**ked all right. Idlewild- I’m absolutely packed in like a sardine, a few rows back and centre, surrounded by indie kids, skate kids, every type of person you can think of, all quivering in anticipation. Because Idlewild put on amazing live shows, and this one was no different. When they finally appear, it’s with Rod belting out a grungey and gritty “Flower of Scotland” on his guitar. Hell yeah, we love them. Roddy seems extremely happy and smiley, he banters with the crowd a lot and seems bashfully appreciative of the attentio n he’s getting. Then they open the set with “Little Discourage” and Roddy is drowned out with the mob of people screaming the words back at him. The abundance of skater kids in the mix makes the crowd pretty rough. I like a bit of argy bargey and jumping around at gigs, but this one is what you might find at a Slipknot gig and it’s beginning to piss me off. At one point I ended up on the ground, and it took absolutely ages to get me back up. I get the feeling that half these kids, while they know they lyrics, don’t have a clue what Roddy is talking about, which is a shame, because he sure has a lot to say. And none of it is the irrelevant fluff that some popular rock bands spit out. The set is full of old favourites including the searing “Roseability” which has the crowd in absolute raptures and “When I Argue I See Shapes” which is one of the high points of the gig. Roddy scolds the crowd playfully at one point, “It’s a festival for gods sake” when the crowd doesn’t answer his question loudly enough, and he seems in fine spirits throughout the entire set. Bob stays more stationary than usual, not bouncing about the stage in his usual rubber band boy way, possibly because of the heat. “You Held the World in Your Arms” lets us know that although Idlewild are grown up now and want to make mature, smart music, they still haven’t lost the capability to rock like the punk kids that are still inside somewhere, and they finish with the absolutely gorgeous “American English” which is a thoroughly fitting end to the set. Its not the wildest of their tunes, but it leaves its mark and the crowd breathless with its soaring, captivating vocals and guitar. And they’re gone. We try to encore them back onstage, but apparently that’s it. Cheeky devils. Absolutely the high point of my weekend. Oasis- The people love them. Of that the there is no doubt. Befor e they come on, people are flocking to the main stage. We endure Primal Scream (ENDURE??? I heard you yell. Well sorry, but Bobby was full of the new material and it wasn’t that great. He finished with “Get your rocks off” and “Swastika Eyes” which were great, but all in all a dull set. And he looked absolutely shattered and wasted), and wait with bated breath. Most of the other tents have emptied for this. I heard King Tuts was about half full for Badly Drawn Boy, and no doubt the slam tent was heaving, but the crowds stretch right up to the food stalls for Oasis. And here they are, the arrogant, annoying bastards whom I hate so much, themselves. Liam is dripping with his usual arrogance and idiocy but none of his usual fire and charisma. I may be lynched for saying this, but as an impartial judge, I thought they had absolutely no atmosphere, no heat, no power to them. They have a back catalogue thicker than Littlewoods one, and the set includes all the favourites- “Don’t Look Back in Anger”, “Wonderwall”, and all the rest, but something was definitely missing. “Hindu Times” went down pretty well, but the two best moments of the evening were “Cigarettes and Alcohol” and “She’s Electric” which provided some bounce in a fairly dull set. Even “My generation”, the encore, wasn’t all that hot (land hearing a girl next to me say “hey, this isn’t an Oasis song” didn’t help). Oh the crowd love Liam all right, he seemed to think all he had to do was glare and spit and he’d get a reaction. And he did, while Noel looked stunned at the turnout, odd, considering how massive Oasis are. I never was the best person to judge because I hate them, even though I enjoyed the set and one or two of the songs. But this was hysteria, not atmosphere, and it didn’t beat the feeling of seeing a tiny band in King Tuts who are going to be ma ssive, or of seeing Idlewild from the middle of a sweaty pit in any way. Maybe it says I’m always gonna be a small-time band girl, but something in me doubts it and puts it down to the performance. It was good. But it wasn’t anything special. It wasn’t like seeing Oasis or anything. I won’t tell that to the girl in the middle of the crowd who sat on someone’s shoulders and bared her tits to the word (and Liam). The Shining- Wow. Double wow and then some. These guys rock! Like the rock n roll Verve. Funny that, because Ex-Verve dudes Simon Jones and Tong are the founders. Its swaggering, pounding and head throbbingly catchy cool, indie attitude combined with rock n roll tunes. King Tut’s Wah Wah Tent in the early hours of a dull Sunday afternoon is not the most exciting place to be, however the tent got pretty crowded for this lot, which means either people were drawn in because of the ex-Verve dudes, or simply wandered in by chance. Either way this lot woke the crowd right up. The vocalist was a skinny blonde thing who spent the entire set taunting the crowd and seeming pissed off that they weren’t making enough noise, which is a bit rubbish really because they couldn’t have made any more if they tried. These chaps are going places. Now if I can only find their bloody website. Every time I type “The Shining” into a search engine I keep getting reviews of Jack Nicholson movies. Dammit. The Hives- Definitely the high point of my Sunday, this lot were absolutely amazing. A massive crowd gathered to see them, I found myself in the front section again, being squished by loads of tiny mini moshers waiting for Greenday. Howlin’ Pelle and Co. pranced onto the stage looking like the owned it. Pelle spent about a quarter of his set winding the crowd up, making them scream, “We love the Hives” and going on about how everyone was rea lly there to see them and not the Foo Fighters. He rocks. I have never screamed so much in my life. The singles were there, along with one or two tracks from the old album “Barely Legal” and, by way of encore, some random cover version I’ve never heard before. The real genius of the Hives, however, it not in their bouncy, two minute, explosive pop-punk songs, but the looks, the dress and the attitude. They look like geeks (or in the case of the guitarist, eighties porn stars) but they rock like gods. The dress code is the usual black suits with white ties, and Howlin’ Pelle Almqvist takes a five minute instrumental interlude to introduce each one of the band, only moving on to the next when the cheering from the crowd hits ear-splitting levels. He certainly has a take no prisoner’s stage style, and its clear he wants as much adoration from the crowd as humanly possible. With a band like this, it’s impossible just to sit still and watch. You have to be jumping around, screaming back at him, laughing at his daft comments (which include “This country is beautiful. You people are beautiful. But it stinks of s**t”). “You love the Hives,” he says. Yup, Pelle, we most certainly do. The Strokes have the pretty boy looks and the Vines have the best songs, but he has the panache and the attitude. Ian Brown- The King Monkey himself makes all the other bands of the day pale in comparison (with the exception of the Hives and the Shining, in my book). He knows most of the people who saw Mercury Rev were really just waiting for him. Lord does he know it. Despite the shining and epic performance put on by Mercury Rev, they seem like damp squibs compared to this drunken monkey-faced cutie brimming with Northern attitude (so fook you Gallagher). He arrives wearing a Scotland shirt, within minutes its been torn to pieces by a rabid, salivating crowd. He may not be the best person to hold a tune, and he starts out slo w (despite some mad dancing, middle fingers and elevated jogging on the spot) but builds up thunderously to “Whispers” and “Love Like a Fountain” has the crowd in absolute overdrive. F.E.A.R is here plus all the usual faves are here. He may not be a Stone Rose anymore, he will never be the icon he was, but no one has the guts or the will to bring him down a peg or two. Like I said, screw those Gallaghers, I got all the dark browed, moody arrogance I need right here in King Tuts. I also saw Mercury Rev who were pretty good, a bit soft-indie and space-rocky for me, with massive musical interludes. The singer had the lovely and cute habit of grinning bashfully and doing an “aw shucks” face at the thunderous applause he received, a bit of the Foo Fighters, and Sonic Youth. Next year is the tenth T in the Park, and plans are already being mapped out. This one is going to be hard to beat, with the scorching weather, the even hotter bands and the extremely diverse and friendly crowds. Farewell, T in the P. Can’t wait for next year!