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It's not funny anymore...
The Brits in general
Member Name: katyboo123
The Brits in general
Date: 17/02/10, updated on 17/02/10 (173 review reads)
Advantages: Great performances from two of my favourite acts
Disadvantages: Everything else, particularly the bitchiness
First, a little more preamble for informative purposes only; 2010 is the 30th anniversary of the Brits, often dubbed the most integral and influential night in the British Music Industry. There are many awards, coveted by the Brits who make our music industry along with a few international awards. Every year the show is broadcast live (with a short delay to allow for the bleeping out of swear words!) and there have been all kinds of ugly events including the Jarvis Cocker / Michael Jackson 'bottom' incident, the Sam Fox / Mick Fleetwood (the single most disastrous occasion), Russell Brand's inappropriate and shameful quips regarding soldiers in Iraq... last night's absolutely disgraceful show must surely top them all though? Robbie Williams has won the most Brit awards ever, a whopping 16 have been presented to him over the years. Followed not so closely by Annie Lennox with 8. The Beatles have won a mere 4 beaten by the Arctic Monkeys with 5. U2 have won the most international awards, followed closely by Michael Jackson and Prince. Interestingly Bjork beats Kylie, Eminem and Scissor Sisters in all time success rates. As well as Best Male and Female, Group and Single awards, there is also an Outstanding contribution to music award, which was won this year by, yes you've guessed it, Robbie Williams. In the 80s groups and artists used to win awards and they are still going now, the longevity of JLS is somewhat debatable to me, but I may just be about to fall in to that category of being a musical elitist, which I abhor, so let's move on!
Last night's show was hosted by Peter Kay. Now I am a little biased, because I can't stand the man. His stand up is funny, because it's very Northern, I'm a Northerner, hence I relate to it, Pheonix Nights is quite funny too, daft and not really the type of program I favour but the snippets I've seen are funny. Not his number one fan, but I don't hate his 'work' either. However, when interviewed or when presenting, Peter Kay comes across as being incredibly rude, belligerent and like he really is only there for the money. For that reason he annoys me. Well, last night he lived up to all of my expectations. He read simply from the autocue, he made no attempt to look up from the camera, his jokes (if you can call them that) weren't funny, infact the joke he made about Cheryl Cole fighting for love with Ashley, wasn't even tongue in cheek; it just came across as cruel, pre-rehearsed and boring. He did little to make the show entertaining. I don't think I saw him smile once and a colleague of mine made a comment this morning - Kay seems to think he has reached the point where he can get paid shed-loads, simply for turning up. Well, news flash, you're crap! Fearne Cotton on the other hand looked very smart backstage and as usual presented and interviewed well, funny and seemingly unprompted by autocues, maybe she just has better television presenting skills than Peter Kay? Perhaps the Brits should have deployed her to present, and booted Mr. Kay off the payroll. He absolutely ruined the show for me before it even started.
The show kicked off with a performance of The Fear by Lily Allen. Now, I was actually getting changed in to my PJs when this came on, so it could just be my complete lack of attention, however; the sound was so poor. Her voice seemed to be competing with the echo voice effects of the line before. She looked confused (read: inebriated) and was extravagantly bolshy. Her outift and make up were off the wall which of course being a little weird myself, I liked. However, her later acceptance speech for British Female Solo Artist was mostly bleeped out, so I can't begin to imagine the atrocities protruding from her trashy mouth, so much for the demure lady?
Next, jokes flopped desperately with the audience, from Peter Kay (unsurprisingly) and Sam Fox as they presented the Spice Girls (well, the two who could be bothered to show up) with an award for Performance Of The Last 30 Years (the Union Jack Geri dress nabbed it for them). Again there were sound and link problems, the camera panned to the audience and half of them were leaving for a tab break or something... Mel B and Geri (who has adopted some kind of bizarre accent thing) accepted the award on behalf of the Spicies, forgetting to thank, well, their fellow bandmates! Next up, Andy Serkis (who I don't think anyone realised was Gollum in Lord of the rings, owing to another crap and unfunny intro from Mr. Kay), to present British Male Solo Artist to none other than... drum roll please... Dizzee Rascal (?!). Perhaps he deserved the award, what with his 3 number ones and numerous collaborations and a style different to anything else we have in UK, however, just his acceptance speech made me think surely we have better than this? I didn't understand a word he said, I'm 26 not 106 and I've seen Adulthood which I managed to largely interpret; yet still I didn't have a clue why we, his fans, 'dun no'? Hmm... As he was going up to collect his award, cue more unfunny, unwitty, cruel and unhelpful commentary from the voice over woman 'that's Dizzy Rascal going to get his award for xyz award, a much more deserving recipient than last years winner, Paul Weller, who didn't even bother to show up'. Paul Weller Vs. Dizzy Rascal?
JLS performed Beat Again next, their No.1 single. I personally think they are a great band (despite me arguing their potential for longevity); I loved watching them in the X Factor and have downloaded a couple of their tracks. I specifically enjoyed their version of Rihanna's Umbrella. But their performance last night? Well it began with them begin crucified (or something similar) suspended from the ceiling. They were lowered to the stage where they began to sing. Aston was dressed in a very fetching one sleeve number and kept lifting his shirt to reveal his belly. Not entirely sure what that was all about. They sounded ok, but given that they won their 2nd place and consequent success from X Factor based on their ability to sing live I was disappointed by their performance. The production was again so-so, nothing unusual, and a little OTT. Overall an average job done by all.
I popped to the bathroom to clean my teeth. I heard my girlfriend ranting at the TV so I went to find out what was occuring. 'Well, Mel B is now presenting an award; they are truly scraping the barrel, winners presenting awards? Why didn't they just give Myleene 'Gets where sh*t wouldn't' Klass or Amanda Holden on?'. You have to laugh. Toothbrush hanging out of my mouth I stood and watched her present Jay-Z with International Male Solo Artist; a deserving recipient for this accolade. He said that the Spicies had been inspirational (in a sarcastic aside fashion), Mel B nearly mounted him.
Oasis are presented with Album of the last 30 years, for (What's the Story) Morning Glory. I think that's a fair award to be given; there may be better albums but the social impact and influence they had is unbeaten in my opinion. That is until Liam comes out to accept the award; he swears loads, swaggers (I expect 'Mad fer it' to pop out his mouth at any moment), then he throws his award in to the crowd and leaves; I quickly remind myself that he is only one half of the brothers who made my early teens so memorable. Peter Kay calls him an expletive then the night progresses; Kasabian play a great version of Fire, actually setting fire to the stage, super TV.
Geri returns (another barrel scraping incident, particularly when she gives the audience their 'clue') to present JLS their award for Breakthrough Act. To be fair, they hardly broke through. Just my opinion; they were more 'catapulted' to fame by taking a chance and entering a reality TV show (more cynical and bitter as the review progresses). The band did beat my Florence and the Machine, so it's a triumph for the 'Pop' genre I suppose...
Next, one of the moments I was waiting for, Lady Ga-Ga, who dedicated her performance to the late Lee Alexander McQueen who died last week. A British Fashion designer, icon, influence; and only the American pays any tribute to him. An outlandishly robed Lady-G sings a hybrid of Telephone and Dance in the Dark, on a crazy set, and I curse myself for not buying tickets to see her tour. She's awesome. Switch to Geri, Courtney Love (who presented an over emotional and ridiculous), Ellie Goulding (with the Critics Choice award), all being interviewed by Fearne-y pops. Geri expresses her distaste for Ga-Ga, 'she could've played something I know', why Geri so you could sing along with your abundance of vocal talent?
Kasabian pick up best group (and fall over when running to get their award, too funny), then Lady Ga-Ga gets best internation female solo artist (well deserved), she acts demurely and respectfully and again pays tribute to McQueen visibly upset and delighted all at once. I hang on every note as Florence and the Machine Vs. Dizzee Rascal belt out a compulsory Brits Mash Up of Dirtee Money and You Got the Love. She looks stunning, but clearly cannot dance! Who cares, her voice is that of an Angel, I am in raptures. More winners announced, more second rate would show up at the opening of an envelope celebs present and then Jay-Z and Alicia Keys play Empire State of Mind. Alicia as usual looks divine and again, these guys act demurely and professionally. Cheryl's performance of Fight for This Love, mixed in with Show Me Love with loads of military style costumes and dancing, which we have seen over and over from her now was well received by a cheering (not silent for once) crowd; I feel heart sorry for the poor girl with her lying, cheating, fool of a fella, but she's still there singing a song during which I imagine the words choke her on the way out. More winners and then my girl (Florence) wins British Album. The show ends on a medly of Robbie Williams songs and I am surprised at how much his head fills the screen. Time to flick channels I think.
So to sum up the show I was disheartened by the poor performances, I was traumatised (I think that's the way I feel anyway) by Peter Kay's abominable presenting skills, I was mystified by some of the recipients of the awards; it seems to me the Brits just like to make sure there is an even spread of genres across the award categories. A little pop, rock and new wave female. The show was short on celebrity fodder, the audience didn't seem interested or excited to be there and overall the night just didn't seem too integral or important. Hopefully the British Music Industry has something else to look forward too, aside from the catty comments and cruel snipes featured throughout this mediocre show. I have always thought British music is the best and that our homegrown talent is comparable if not better than that of the International music industry. However, last night showed that I am completely wrong, not only demonstrated by the loudmouthed, uncouth Brits that accepted awards (while the Americans remained professional, respectful and demure) but also by the fact that it is achingly apparent that we need to get fresh and new and original (and be a little more polite).
Overall a big let down, but Florence and Lady G made it worthwhile watching.
Summary: Two Stars - Ga-Ga and Flo'
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