Adventures in Brummiedom (Birmingham (Alabama))

Member Name: marandina

Product:	Birmingham (Alabama)
Date:	28/11/04 (168 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Night life

Disadvantages: Kebabs

It’s been a while you know? Well, that was how the last conversation with my good lady finished *sigh* so what better excuse than to write samfink for the luverly folks of Dooyoo. This is, pretty much, based on an opinion posted on Ciao (hence the Ciao references) and is inspired by an ongoing debate with a prominent luminary called 29th_Candidate. 29th is a member of Dooyoo but rarely frequents these online shores these days but seeing as the good people of Ciao have suffered this mild lunacy, I thought I may as well bore you guys too. Well, it is p*ssing doon and the only viable alternative is shoving the Chrimbo decos up wiv me family or watching Arsenal play Liverpool. Hmmmm….tricky choice.

Aaaaaaaanyway….I could tell you a wee bit about the history of Brum…

*Quick History*
Birmingham's past goes back as far as the Bronze age and beyond. Very little remains from this era except the scattered flint stones and bronze artefacts that can be found in the city museum.

Early Roman military roads criss cross Birmingham whilst Anglo-Saxon tribes started to settle in the region around 700 A.D. These included the Hwicce and Anglian Mercians who made the area their permanent home.

Evidence of Saxon settlement is apparent from the name endings of some of Birmingham's well known localities. The suffix -ley means clearing in a forest. Therefore Selly, Yardley, Moseley and Warley are likely to have been Saxon clearings. Other place names also carry the names of their founders. The town of Birmingham was a hamlet hence ending in ham. The followers of the ingas of Birm or Beorma completes the equation and demonstrates how many town names carry the names we have today. Medieval and subsequent Norman occupation also added to the variety of interesting place names, the origin of which is often buried in a murky past. An example of medieval remains can be found at Weoley Castle.

*Geography*
Birmingham is positioned in the centre of England with great rail and road links to all points of the compass. The M6 runs through Brum linking the North with the M1 to the South and is ably complimented by the new M6 Toll road that takes the pressure of some of the busiest road in Europe.

*Me and Birmingham*
I was born in Birmingham and spent my life in various parts of Brum. I moved to Northampton nearly 10 years ago, now. I do miss Birmingham from time to time.

Well, that’s enough of that.....

*Alternative Ramblings*

Brummiedom, BRUMMIEDOM, what does that mean to you? Weeeeeell, one of THE most senior of members of Ciaodom has insisted that I embrace the concept of “Brummiedom”. Now bearing in mind that this particular dude may become the next president of the US of A in 4 years time, assuming he can subvert the seemingly unstoppable candidature of a certain Arnie Schwarzennegar, then maybe I should do as he says. However, to embrace any new creed you first of all have to understand it. So what is Brummiedom? Many of you may not know what a Brummie is. For those in blind ignorance or who has never seen the mighty and legendary “Crossroads” (the zenith reached with Amy Turtle and Benny the gentle simpleton) then a Brummie is a native of this sceptred Isle’s second city i.e. Birmingham.

Of course, if you were reading this in America on your jive talkin’, bling, blingin’ AOL weberoonie, you could be forgiven for thinking that I was referring to Birmingham, Alabama (Sorry, went all funkster DJ Hipster LL Cool J-ish just for a doggone moment). Just to clarify, I am talking about the Black Country capital of West Midlands and Warwickshire where local Yam Yams are alive and well and that luverly nasal drawl of an accent masks the English language from what it once was. You could think of this in the same way that black pudding masquerades as something of a delicacy when, in reality, it used to be a medieval punishment for stealing apples.

So what is Brummiedom all about? Well, it’s a recent concept that’s developed from the notion “to brummie”. Anybody that has spent any time at all in BirmingHAM will know what a Friday or Saturday night is all about and it’s hear that this new premise starts to unravel. Brummiedom starts with the idea of having at least 10 pints down Broad Street, followed by an 80’s night out in New Street with the whole evening rounded off with a radioactive Doner Kebab (sheesh). Now this may seem somewhat primeval or even rather low brow but it’s essential to the behavioural precepts of coming from *Royal Castle Vale or somewhere equally salubrious in BirmingHAM. I, myself and me, originate from a much posher part of Brum and so can hold my head up as I aspire to the mystical concept of Brummiedom (in actual fact, the posh part of Coventry is, in fact, Birmingham or otherwise known colloquially as Berrrrrrminghum as pronounced correctly and much easier to say when you have a heavy cold).

However, you may be interested to know that there is an alternative path available, not just for the chosen one but for the population at large. Where once there was Buddhism, this centuries old religion and philosophy has been replaced by.... yes.....you guessed it, Brummiedom. Now to follow the road to enlightenment, one must do the following….

Sit cross legged at least 3 times a day in Lozells remembering to face west towards the HP Sauce factory. During these times of intense meditation, the meditator must breathe in the effluence emanating from the said HP sauce factory and breathe out tension. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh……

Choose to refrain from any theological debate as to who is the least worst footie team out of the Villa, Blues or the Baggies. Wolves don’t count as they are known as Dingles, which is a species still to be formally recognised by the Darwinian department of Evolution and Classification. An alternative subject would be about the decline in popularity of the legendary series called Crossroads (as mentioned earlier) and whether Meg Richardson was, in fact, Margaret Thatcher in disguise.

As a perpetual atonement, you could choose to drive into the centre of the City via the Aston Expressway (otherwise known as the A38) during both the morning and the evening. The several hours that you will spend stuck in a traffic jam will provide ample opportunity to reflect on whether re-incarnation is a viable possibility or simply a hope for traffic wardens wanting to return as a higher life form e.g. a Natterjack Toad.

If I could be even more serious just for a moment, it’s many the long hour that I’ve pondered religion and all the spatial and metaphysical realignment it calls for. I’ve always found that the numerous mosques in down town Aston at prayer time provide the ideal backdrop for those pensive Brummies who have long since desired to start their own local movement . Not since the decisive rush for power by the Dudley Philatelic Society has there been such stirrings as there are now and I implore the whole of Dooyoo and it’s HUGE membership to consider joining me and my friend in making Birmingham the great venue of culture and class that it once may have been but never was. Here, in essence, is Brummiedom. Taste it, smell it, see it, want it. Deny your own local associations and join the Brummie clan. Remember, it’s the talk of the Toon and the fog on the Tyne will and can cloud your judgement. Join me and my placard carrying friend on the banks of the canal as we puff out our chests, tout for passing trade and say to you all, “WE ARE PROUD BRUMMIES AND YOU MAY TAKE OUR LIVES BUT YOU -WILL-NEVER-TAKE-OUR-FREEEEEEDOMMMMMMMMM!”

Erm….damn..that’s Braveheart isn’t it? Oh well, it’ll do Pig, it’ll do….

I thang yew for Birmingham (as opposed to Reading)

So there you have it. Some real reflections of Birmingham and some of the more humerous kind (or maybe not if you thought it was cack) which are easier to relate to if you have actually ever frequented the lovely city of Birmingham. In reality, I could bang on with stats about the population, attractions, sporting venues and such like but my recommendation is to try sites like http://icbirmingham.icnetwork.co.uk/ if you want to know more about my birth town.

Thanks for enduring me.

Marandina

*Anybody that’s been to Royal CV will know that flick knives are issued on the way IN to pubs and hub cabs are half inched from cars whilst they are driving along as opposed to whilst they are stationary. Apologies to anyone from RCV, it’s a good job that this whole exercise is anonymous innit? <grin>

**No offense meant to Hindus, Buddhists, people from Lozells, people from RCV, people from BirmingHAM, people that frequent mosques, Villa supporters, Blues supporters, Wolves supporters, Albion supporters, American people or presidential candidates. My lawyer is a top doggeroonie for anyone I've missed (eek...I'm lying)

Useful key word links to Birmingham things:
Ann Hathaway
Aston Cook
Aston Hall
Birmingham Mint
Cadbury History
Dudley Castle
Dudley History
English Heritage
Famous People
Frederick Lanchester
Gas Basin
George Cadbury
Gun Quarter
Hagley Hall
Handsworth Old Hall
Himley Hall
History Societies
James Brindley
Jewellery Quarter
John Baskerville
Lunar Society
Mary Arden
Matthew Boulton
Moseley Old Hall
Motor Industry
National Trust
Neville Chamberlain
Oak House
Oratory
Pen Room
Perrott's Folly
Railways
Selly Manor
Severn Valley Railway
Soho House
Tolkien J.R.
Tony Hancock
Transport Museum
Walsall History
Warwick Castle
Watt James
William Shakespeare
Wolverhampton History

Roman Roads
Birmingham Heritage
Charles I
Civil War
Dargue's History
Domesday Book
History 1850 - 1914
History - Tim Lambert

Lordy only knows why Birmingham appears in a National Park category on Dooyoo!

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