Prepare to be bored (by my review, not Florida itself!) (Florida)

Member Name: CaptainD

Product:	Florida
Date:	23/06/05 (93 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Good attractions and restaurants etc , Reasonable prices

Disadvantages: Some areas appear distinctly dodgy (especially downtown Miami!), Depends to some extent on weather (perhaps more than other places - that could apply to anywhere after all!)

I went to Florida in January 2002 with three other lads – in fact, it was the last holiday I took before getting married. :-) I have very fond memories of Florida, and shall proceed to bore you with them now…

After a very thorough security check at Orlando airport (this was only 4 months following the September 11th terrorist attacks, after all) we rented a car from Budget and drove to where we were staying the first night – we rented a private house not too far from Colonial Drive (not a bad little place but not exactly four star accommodation!). I’m not saying who it was but someone lost his driving licence and so couldn’t drive – and someone never heard the last of it…

Orlando itself is a nice little place, much of it feels like an uncharted backwater – very relaxed, and not at all what I expected. We did the theme parks when we came back – Magic Kingdoms, SeaWorld, and Universal Studios - but for four days we just toured Florida. First we went out towards Cape Canaveral and the JFK Space Centre. It was the one thing that I wanted to see that no one else did – but after they’d seen it, they were glad I’d convinced them. Driving down the east coast from there we travelled down to Miami, and stayed in a dodgy hotel. (Very cheap, but dodgy.) Somehow we kept expecting to hear gunshots. A huge guy hanging round reception looked every inch a pimp, and though thankfully it never happened, the other thing we kept expecting to hear was some latina knocking on the door asking if we required any “room service”… One of my friends (name withheld pending blackmail payment) confided to me on the first night that he’d never been as scared in his life! Downtown Miami is not a place I’d really recommend…

… but South Beach is spectacular. (Unfortunately, since it was January, the weather was quite cold at times – however, there weren’t too many people around, which was nice.) There’s quite a few nice places to eat down Ocean Drive, and it looked like there were quite a few places worth going – sadly we didn’t have time to properly explore. After visiting the Mamba Bar that evening we planned to take a trip down to the Keys next day.

Visiting the Keys was a bit of an anticlimax – we saw just how beautiful they were without having time to really enjoy it. However we did eventually reach Key West. We found what looked like a decent restaurant, and although the food was good we were slightly put off by the sight of a massive, greasy, sweating Czech cook smoking in the kitchen. We exited post haste stage left …

After another nerve-wrecking night in that dodgy hotel in Miami (door barricaded with all the room’s furniture except the beds) we went up to what we expected to be (and what did indeed prove to be) the highlight of the Florida leg of our trip - The Everglades. (We spent 8 days in Florida and then 9 days in California – though technically part of that time was spent in Nevada / Arizona.) The natural beauty of the Everglades has to be seen to be believed (the story about how the American Army actually made it bigger by trying to get rid of it is just great, too!), and riding on the hoverboat (what’s the proper name for them again? You know the ones I mean, big fan at the bag, used in cheesy chase scenes in Police Academy 5 and Chain Reaction etc…) was even more fun than it looks in the movies! The only thing I didn’t like was the way the alligators at the reservation at one end were kept – the handler claimed what was being done to them caused them no pain, but I wasn’t totally convinced. I’m taking it that the alligator meat they were selling was obtained either from gators who’d died naturally or who were bred for the purpose – yes I did try some (they said it tasted like chicken – they forgot to mention that it tastes like a rubber chicken…) but afterwards I found myself wondering a/ what condition the gators were kept in if bred for food and b) whether it actually was alligator anyway. But these concerns were soon forgotten on the ride back on the hoverboat (Yep, I’m shallow – sorry.) It did slightly bother me afterwards though, and took some of the shine off of the experience of going to the Everglades. Damn them. :-O

Er, where was I? Oh yeah… after the Everglades, we travelled up the west coast and ended up in St Petersburg – in an Irish pu. (They’re just everywhere - I ended up in one when I went to Paris as well… and I don’t even like pubs! I just always seem to be with people who do, and these pubs are always conveniently positioned…. Canny lads, these Irish…). I didn’t see enough of St Petersburg to really get an idea of what it was like, but I saw enough to decide that one day I’d like to spend long enough there to decide whether I would want to spend time there… huh? Did that make sense to you?

Back in Orlando we spent some time just exploring – mainly along Colonial Drive and International Drive. We found out two very important things while there. These are:

*- Never take a woman there – there’s far too many good clothes shops (the Nike store even lulled me into spending money… now that’s an accomplishment!).

*- Never try to diet there – especially with Chevvy’s wonderful Mexican food and some great Caribbean-style restaurants…


The theme parks were very expensive as we did one day at each, and doing three in a row was a bit more than I would normally be happy with – but as I’d convinced the guys to go to Cape Canaveral, how could I object? Actually those three days were really good anyway -–wish it had been a bit warmer though… Of the three, I preferred Universal Studios to Magic Kingdoms (which is after all designed most for the kids), though SeaWorld is a reminder that nothing man can create can really compete with what nature has to offer. The big killer whale (I forget the name) wasn’t being moody that day so we got to see him strut his stuff, though fortunately we sat far enough back to escape without getting completely drowned!

Overall

Florida is a great place to visit and has plenty to offer. However I don’t think it’s quite a 5–star venue overall since it appeals more to specific groups (especially families) who like doing certain things than having general appeal, and the weather does play quite a large part in how much you’ll enjoy it – obviously, this is particularly the case if you planned to spend much of your time on the beach!

I think that most people will enjoy going to Florida and the prices are generally very reasonable, but I just can’t quite see it as a five-star resort. Maybe four and a half stars though! I enjoyed my stay there very much and would definitely go there again – it just wouldn’t be top of my list.

Hope you’re still awake after reading that…

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