The Beautiful Girl and the Penis Bowl (San Jose)

Member Name: zoe_page_1

Product:	San Jose
Date:	08/01/09 (236 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Good weather. And some different ice creams.

Disadvantages: Not a whole lot else.

...now there's a fairytale title you never hear.


I like city breaks, I really do. Thus, I decided to tag a few days in San Jose onto the beginning and end of my Costa Rican tour. In total I spent 6 nights there, but only really 4 days due to flight times and travelling towards Arenal and back from the beach. This is still about 3 and a half days more than most people told me I would need, but I ignored them nonetheless, convinced that any capital city would have a fair few things to keep me entertained.


GETTING THERE AND AROUND

I arrived at 1am into San Jose airport which is about half an hour and $20 (US) from the centre. At that time of night it took us only half that time, though I would have happily spent a little longer on the roads in exchange for Mr "Authorised Airport Taxi" Man not running all the red lights. At that time of night I was half asleep having left my apartment before 6pm (and spent all morning in the gym) but I did notice a Denny's as we whizzed by, and that excited me since they don't exist in Mexico. I left the same way, and was intrigued to find I had to pay a $26 departure tax. I always thought they were a myth - something travel companies told you about, but you never actually had to pay or if you did they were already included in the ticket price (this was the first time, in over 100 flights, that'd I've had to hand over cash at the airport). Something else strange was that Mexicana were hand searching all baggage prior to check in, and since this wasn't clear (or normal for Mexicana flights in other places) many people had already paid to have their bags shrink wrapped in that clingfilm stuff, which was promptly ripped off.

I wouldn't bother saving much money for the airport (apart from for the departure tax - though you can bung it on a credit card, they process it as a cash advance, therefore you start paying interest immediately not after the usual 50 - 60 days). There are a few shops, but they're all (literally) the same - a Britt Coffee thing selling magazines, wooden jewellery and...yep, coffee. The food court is quite nice though.

Within the city limits, it is easy to navigate using Plaza de la Cultura as a starting point. Located on Avenida Central between Calles 3 and 5, this is a lot like Trafalga Square, but perhaps with more pigeons. Avenidas run east to west and Calles run north to south. Both have silly numbering, going up in 2s either odd or even numbers depending on their direction away from Calle Central and Avenida Central. Avenida Central is partly pedestrianised, as are parts of Calle 2, but otherwise you need to keep any eye out for maniacs, sorry, local drivers.

We caught a public bus back to San Jose from the beach resort of Quepos, and arrived at the Coca Cola Bus Terminal. Yep, that's really its name. This is just to the west of town, and only a few dollars in a taxi to most hotels. Unfortunately the 5 hour trip had not gone well - mid way, during a break for toilets / food, two of the group's backpacks were stolen, meaning they lost their cameras and all the photos of the trip. Luckily there were no passports inside, but still. That was my only proper brush with crime during the trip, except for a cop getting shot dead outside out hotel (would have been more shocking / impressive had the exact same thing not happened at a bank on my block in Mexico the week before I went).


SEEING AND DOING AND BEING CHATTED UP

On my first day I went to the Gold Museum, handily located just across the square from my hotel. At $7 per person, this is not an especially cheap place. They have exhibits on money and banknotes, coffee as a currency, and lots of the shiny stuff. They also currently have a totally unrelated exhibition on daylight and shadows in watercolours - my only dabble in art my entire stay. After a quick walk through the national park (not because I walk quickly, but because it is small) I headed to the nearby Jade Museum where one of the guards proclaimed that I was "Lindissima" and that he had to leave the room to stop staring at me and concentrate on his job. He moved round the corner, hardly out of sight, so I sauntered off all cool and aloof and classy like the "beautiful" thing that I am, and then ruined it all my taking a picture of a penis bowl. Seriously, a nice normal looking bowl with a massive willy on the front, taking pride of place in one of the glass cabinets. I think maybe it was some sort of fertility prop? I hope it was, at any rate.

There are a few other places to visit in San Jose, but unfortunately they did not want the pleasure of my company during my stay. The Centre for Science and Culture (housed in the former city prison)? Closed. The contemporary art museum? Closed. The Costa Rican art museum? Closed....until 2010. (This is particularly worthy of note if you are planning a visit, since it is a 45 minute walk from the centre, along an uninspired street. That's an hour and a half of my life I'm never getting back.) I don't know why all these places were shut on 22nd / 23rd / 31st December since most advertised themselves as only closing on official holidays, so it was slightly annoying. The museums aren't even supposed to be that good - they're certainly not world class - so you'd think they would have actively welcomed the few people who made the trek to go see them.

I went to see the Cathedral which was built in 1871, a good 50 years after its predecessor was crumbled by an earthquake. It is quite unusual - blue and white in design, and somewhat plain - but the stained glass inside is pretty. Unfortunately you cannot climb any bell tower here - in fact, nowhere in the city did I find a place I could climb for a view of the rooftops. In front of the Cathedral is Parque Central where they had some interesting, glittering Christmas figures, but otherwise the city was pretty bare in terms of festive decoration.



EATING AND DRINKING

I'm not even a little bit ashamed to say that the first place I ate following my hotel breakfast was McDonalds. You'd have rushed there too if you'd seen their latest desert offering - a Tres Suenos (3 dreams) McFlurry, with 3 types of Cadburys and chocolate sauce. A week later, back in the city, I also ventured, unabashedly, into Wendy's for a Cookie Dough Frosty (their version of the McF). In between I dined on street food (I live on the edge, I do) and at a 24 hour Churro restaurant and Pizza Hut Express. I also ventured into Spoon, a local chain that is cheap and cheerful, and has a fantastic cake selection as well as meals and snacks. And, I may or may not have booked my first hotel solely on the basis that it boasted an ice cream parlour at its north east corner. Pops, the local chain, it turned out was ok but not a patch on Mexican stuff, but still, a hotel with its own ice cream place is pretty cool. The city does have "proper" restaurants but none appealed to me enough to visit on my own, especially since their prices are out of proportion with other things in the city. My best find was a big supermarket - Mas Y Menos - on Avenida Central. I love supermarkets. I also found another couple on Calle 3, just north of the Plaza de la Cultura.



SHOPPING

Shopping is not the reason you go to San Jose. With time to kill before our welcome meeting I went to explore El Pueblo, the Centro Comercial on my map. It was deader than dead but still reminded me weirdly of Ports O'Call in San Pedro. After being harranged by an over-enthusiastic shop owner (the only one, enthusiastic or otherwise, in the place), I ran away, and quickly. The shops along Avenida Central are fine, but nothing special, and there is an over emphasis on cheap lingerie and expensive trainer shops. For souvenirs, try the supermarkets, or the back streets near Parque Espana.

On my last day with the tour, I went jewellery shopping with a few of the group since I had nothing better to do. It was quite an eye opener. The shops look like houses, and are on residential streets, but inside past the gun toting, bullet proof vest wearing guards, are little Aladdin's caves. In the first place, R got a $1000 ring for himself, as well as getting girlfriend M a few treats, the original reason for our excursion. Then an employee from there drove us to the second place, the somewhat famous (it's in my guide book) Esmeraldas y Disenos. Here we got an explanation of how jewellery is made, and free coke, coffee and cookies. R bought another $1000 ring for himself. Yes, really. And we all got free gifts - gold coloured fertility charms. Just what I always wanted. I would keep it in my penis bowl if only I'd been able to purchase a replica in the museum gift shop.


FURTHER AFIELD

There are many trips, both single and multi-day, available from San Jose. These include everything from volcano climbs to rain forest cable cars to the hot springs of Arenal. On New Year's Day I went on one to see the Poas Volcano and La Paz waterfall gardens. The first part of the day was not good - low lying clouds meant we saw not even a glimpse of the pretty acidic green lake it is known for. The guide helpfully told us this was common at this time of year, so take note. The afternoon was better. We saw birds, butterflies, frogs, snakes and monkeys really close up, and got some great photos. Then after lunch we made the 500 step climb to see the 5 waterfalls - most of these are going down not up, so it's not as bad as it sounds. If you're travelling at this time of year, I would recommend the half day version that just covers La Paz since Poas is unfortunately not worth it.



OTHER STUFF

In Costa Rica they don't reply to a "Gracias" with the usual "De nada". They come back with "Con mucho gusto", literally, "With much pleasure". The first time someone said this to me it sounded filthy - it was the bellboy in my first hotel, and it was probably less what he said and more the way he said it, but it threw me for a minute. I quickly realised that everyone - shop assistants, taxi drivers, waiters, men, women and children - all say this, but I still remember that first time.

I found the people in San Jose very friendly if a little odd. At one hotel they addressed me by name continuously - it wasn't actually my name, but let's not be picky. When I was moving from one hotel to another, an employee was just getting off work and his manager told him to accompany me to my new hotel and carry my bag. This is after they made me don a weird rubber mask and pose for a photo in honour of New Year's Eve. Apparently the mask was of the president of Ecuador, but I would never have known.

Costa Rica is a dual currency country which is pretty darn confusing. In San Jose most things are priced in Colones except in souvenir shops and museums where they only advertise the $ price and you have to ask for them to convert it for you. ATMs pay out both currencies, but it's easiest to take dollars with you since it's hard to get Colones before travel in a lot of countries.


VERDICT

Return to the city? No way, (San) Jose. Though it was perfectly pleasant for a couple of days, I got bored of it quite quickly as there is so little to do. My favourite thing turned out to be sitting in a park in the sunshine, reading, which quite frankly I could do anywhere in this part of the world. It's an ok place to stay for a night before or after a flight, but I wouldn't bother turning it into a destination in its own right as it's just too small and insignificant. Even the travel websites don't think you'll want to go there - be careful with your hotel bookings or you might just end up in its Californian namesake.


USEFUL LINK (*smirk*)

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1150687& ;l=19bf5&id=505082356

Summary: Worth only the quickest of glances.