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Conkers Bad Fur Day (N64)

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    19 Reviews
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      01.02.2012 18:47
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      Really, honestly funny

      'Conkers Bad Fur Day' is an action platform game for the Nintendo 64. It is a game I love for it is always entertaining, challenging, and infinitely funny.

      The game consists of a story-mode where you control Conker the Squirrel as he attempts to make his way home to his girlfriend, Berri, and 7 varied multi-player games that range in subject matter with the common theme of usually hitting someone over the head, or more dramatically cutting them in half with a chainsaw. The game is not as violent as it may sound, as despite those features pervading much of the different aspects of the game, the simplistic graphics of game play due to its age and the way in which blood 'falls off' in huge chunks, make it much more satirical than shocking.

      Conker is a binge drinking potty mouth, who on his journey home encounters an array of different characters willing to help or hinder him on his quest. The first you come across is the scarecrow, a vivacious character with hiccups due to his alcohol abuse who gives him a few tips from then on. From there you really start the game and are forced into really getting grips with the controls of the games, controlling Conker in his few actions which are to run, jump, and smack enemies with a frying pan. His abilities are not limited to this however, as he can also swim underwater for a while until he runs out of breath, climb ladders or ropes, fire objects from a slingshot and is strong enough to push heavy objects.

      You are introduced to the plot of the game almost immediately and made aware that the sovereign Panther is out to get Conker, and as a result he must combat all of his cronies. Conker finds himself entangled in a serious of admittedly bizarre and at times ridiculous situations, from luring animated cheese to feed to a greedy, talking rat, to bouncing on the exaggerated chest of a once shy Sunflower like you might a trampoline, and even getting drafted into a war between grey squirrels and a Nazi-like teddy bears known as the "Tediz", who Conker eventually beats.

      As you explore the world, going from level to level collecting cash on the way, you visit a number of locations that also appear in the multi-player games such as the Bank Vault. Each locations has residents specific to it, like the nearly incomprehensible due to their dialect, hornets who protect the entrance to another level in one of the stages.

      Story-mode ends in both a humourous and equally ridiculous way, even featuring so-called engineers of the game who aid Conker in his final battle. It acts as the perfect round-off to a witty, silly game that is lots of fun and always maintains your interest.

      If ever you become stuck, as I did countless times in my numerous attempts at the game over the years, there is the option for you to type in cheats in the main menu (a bar occupied by drunk animals and a silly looking devil-like creature) to unlock a variety of things such as excess tails (lives), enter debug mode and to change the easiness of your gaming experience. These can be found by simply searching via a search engine.

      Multi-player is equally as fun with a variety of levels including the amply named 'War' level. Others include robbing a bank vault, stealing eggs from a dinosaur to fry for food in a ludicrously sized frying pan, and helping French squirrel immigrants cross a gun-infested area to reach safety. Up to four players can get involved and there is also the option to enter cheats into the main menu if it all gets too hard for you. Via the use of cheats you can unlock Story-mode characters in Multi-player, such as weazel henchmen, zombie cats, Gregg the Grimreaper and Conker himself. The use of cheats adds a whole new dimension to multi-player gaming as it is made much more fun due to the abundance of variety.

      Overall, Conker's Bad Fur Day is a silly game to be enjoyed by silly people. It has a huge cult following, including myself, and when playing it you can understand why. Ever original, always fun and always on the brink of controversy, it is a game to be reckoned with for those of you less obsessed with great graphics and smooth gameplay. A raw, funny game.

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      14.05.2010 17:44
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      great fun

      Seems like Nintendo have to every so often prove that their inventory of game titles aren't just built up of cutesy franchises by bringing out game which appeals more to mature gamers.
      An example being Madworld -a dull, immensely violent and stylised title for Wii which seems to try too hard, overcompensating for the countless fluffy hipperty-hopperty bunny titles or casual games out. I found it boring and quickly glazed over. Even driving a lamppost though someone's face couldn't hold my interest.
      Re-wind back to the N64 era and gaming company Rareware were developing more serious games like Perfect Dark and Goldeneye as wells as tongue and cheek games like Banjo-Kazooie. One of the last games to emerge from the consol was a Rareware game called Conker's Bad Fur Day. I think they got it just right.

      In this game you play conker, a foul mouth red squirrel who wakes up the next morning after a drinking session and has to find his way to his girlfriend's house. Several things stand between this Conker and this objective. The first being a mafia don has kidnapped Berry (The girlfriend) and turns her into a dancer for his nightclub. The 2nd- A mad legless scientist (Professor Von Kripplespak) has coerced the Panther King into thinking the way to repair his throne-side table is to prop it up using a squirrel. This would keep his milk from toppling off.
      Like Mario land most inanimate objects have faces in this game -from paint brushes to cheese slices. But this is normal in the magical land and during his journey he befriends many of them as sidekicks. All of them seem to frustrate and annoy him with their bumbling over-friendly mannerisms and Disney cheerfulness.
      The game spoofs other Nintendo based platform titles and even some of the layouts are reminiscent of Mario 64. This is emphasised more in the fact Conker seems to be remotely aware he's a character in a game in which you have to control. It also parodies everything else from bouncers as a personified bolder of rock to an array of blockbusters movies like alien, the matrix and Dr Strangelove.
      The gameplay is simple with the camera positioning itself slightly above and behind conker and mostly it's just jumping, hovering for and moment and using special powers in "context sensitive" areas. Like Tails in the Sonic series- the hovering takes place when you perform a double jump and conker's tail spins around. Something he calls "The helicopter tail thing".
      You make your way through a range of different themed levels almost like a theme park, where you fight obnoxious enemies and scatological bosses which includes a giant operatic poo. Some of the levels are tricky but refreshingly nothing ever repeats itself making it easy to play over, once you've completed the game.

      The general sound and voice acting is great. The music adds great depth and humour also. Once your health bar is depleted a vertically challenged Grim Reaper named Greg is introduced. This character's voice in particular has comical value and I think is done well. You can also challenge 1-4 friends to multiplayer mini games or death matches which are loosely based around the single player campaign.
      It seems this game has a certain creative aura when compared to most of the boring child-like bouncy retardisms of Nintendo games and harsh, realistic greyish-brown shoot'um ups which seem to inhabit the PS3 currently. Even with its immaturity and everything else -it still has charm and considers a new approach to serious gaming and entertainment business by trivializing its conformity and conservative attitude. Nintendo even refused to mention it in their Official magazine and advertising was limited. It's unique and quirky which is why it's picked up a cult following and for this reason you should pick up a copy.

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      28.01.2010 15:58
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      Poo, wee and more!

      When Nintendo release a game for a more mature audience its always exciting. especially when the game consists of fart jokes and film lampooning. In this game you are a foul mouth binge drinking red squirrel - Conker who after a particularly heavy session at his local pub wakes discover he is a long way from home. Not only this but his sexy rabbit girlfriend Berry has been kidnapped and the Panther King along with crazy Dr Strangelvoe esq scientist Dr Von Kripplespak are hunting you down for their own diabolical schemes.

      Rareware the British company involved in making this sweet gem were sold off to Microsoft after Gamecube was developed- a great mistake in my opinion as Rareware were artistic in vision and creative and playfully mischievous in developing this game. Obviously Rare doesn't really fit in with Nintendo's image.

      The game pushes the N64 to the limit graphics wise and also content wise as there is constant swearing, adult humour and violence involved. Its a third person/ squirrel game perspective which works great and has an almost Mario 64 feel to it- running around trying to help other creatures and fighting cartoonish looking enemies.

      The game itself is only mildly offensive and more childish. Highlights include fighting a giant scatological boss with a roll of toilet paper, entering a matrix themed lobby level and countless other film/game parodies and greatly enjoyable levels.

      If you can pick this up second hand then I recommend you do. If you have an X-box then you can buy the multiplayer remake.

      Review also on Ciao.co.uk under username- Pippylong

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        14.04.2009 14:39
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        If you have an N64 then buy this game!

        This is one of the best games I have ever played. Countless hours were spent repeating the hugely entertaining story and even more were spent on the multiplayer modes, which are as fun as anything else I have ever played.

        It follows angles not explored in other games, focusing on filth and bad language throughout. The story requires the player to look around the environment and find ways around potential problems. Need to get across a bridge with cavemen on it? Easy, hatch a baby dinoaur and trick it into thinking your it's "mummy", then command it to eat the cavemen.

        The thinking behind Conker's story is comic genious, such as when Conker is asked to raid a heavily guarded bank and he agrees to do it - as long as he can have a cool Matrix costume to do it with.

        Bad Fur Day takes its ideas from a lot of successful movies, including the Matrix, Die Hard, Alien versus Predator and Terminator. All of these have comedy twists though, you see the jokes and realise the significance to other violent films.

        The multiplayer modes are varied in both weapon and vehicle selection, characters, objectives and maps - but everything contains the classic Conker humour. Cavemen steal raptors egges and through them into giant frying pans, whislt french squirrels try to make their way past border patrols which are actually giant teddy bears with machine guns and bayonets.

        If you have an N64 and don't own this game, you're really missing out.

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          25.09.2003 22:51

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          Conker's BFD- who'd have thought a squirrel could get up to so much in one day? - Advantages: Brilliant multiplayer, side-splittingly funny, hillarious spoofs of lots of well known films - Disadvantages: the sequel is on the X-Box

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          14.03.2002 02:29
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          Do you like Rare? Well you should. They have brought out some of the most amazing games of all time and they have done it exclusively for the greatest games developer in the world, Nintendo. Guess what? They have done it again, Conker's Bad Fur Day is a 3D platformer but before you moan and groan about how the N64 is swamped with games in this genre already, games like Banjo-Kazooie, Mario and even (shudder) Chameleon Twist, this one is different. This is one of THE most profanity-laden games to have ever been released and it's on your "baby" console. The game revolves around Conker, who after a night of drinking, deciedes to go home but unfortunately he has lost his way and has stumbled into a world of mystery and wonder. He has to find his way home before the Panther King get's a hold of him and turns him into a table leg. The games is full of humour and you wont be without laughs for long. Whether you're fighting giant turd monsters or jumping on the breasts of a Sunflower you will always be in stitches. The game does, however, have a few flaws in it. The camera for instance is, well evil! It seems to have a life of it's own and you wil find parts of the game where you will die over and over again because you can't see where you're going. This flaw makes the game incredibly hard and you might spend hours on a puzzle that is quite easy. Despite these minor niggles, the game is outstanding. It really is like playing a cartoon. There is tons of speech and it wont take you long to find your favourite sounding character (mine is the scouse dung-beetles). There is a multiplayer mode and you will spend hours with your mates playing the great games like beach, where you either take control of the frencies and try to get to Paris, or you can be the evil Tediz and try to stop the frencies from crossing the border. Overall this is a great game and it continues Rare's reputation of getting
          the best out of Nintendo's box of tricks.

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            20.01.2002 17:48
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            Right, who is your favourite N64 developer, let me guess, Rare? In my opinion they are bye far the best, creating some of the greatest titles on the console and now they've come up with an all new brand of gun toting, swearing squirrell. For a start, this game is rated 18, then again so was Perfect Dark, unfortunately Nintendo games have a history of being unfairly rated. Conkers bad fur day does contain a small amount of swearing, farting, bad gore and excrement (!) but my advice to any parents is, its nothing we havent heard before!! The control system involves a 'Zelda Style' B button which changes function according to your position and you know when to press it because of the handy way in which a light bulb appears over conker's head when he thinks of something he could do. The sound of the game is very good, with full speech throughout and great synchronisation with the lip movement on screen. The music is atmospheric but by no meens special. The visuals of the game are superb, with many cut scenes which enhance the plot and clever lighting makes the levels perfect for killing everything in site (or running away very very quickly). The levels are vast and very well crafted and of course very very weird. Your adventures let you meet some very strange people, not least the evil Tediz, the panther king and some giant poo creature that you must kill with toilet rolls! The game allows you to ride several creatures, the bull and the dinosaur, it features classic puzzles such as endlessly pushing cratesaround , loads of mini-games and of course, hideousely big bosses. The game is a bit short but fairly tricky but it is let down a bit by the dodgy camera, but overall conkers bad fur day is a wicked game!

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            22.10.2001 15:28
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            RareWare have to be one of the best game developers out there, the quality of the video games they produce is second to none! Following on the heels of Donkey Kong 64 and Banjo Tooie is their latest offering, Conker’s Bad Fur Day, yet another superb piece of gaming software…as long as you don’t mind a fair dollop of smutty humour and a few swear words to go with it! The game is a platform/roaming adventure type game, of similar genre to Banjo and Donkey Kong, although not as extensive, and the idea is to guide Conker the Squirrel home after a particularly hard night on the tiles, hangover in full rage! Where it differs, is in the language it uses (definitely not suitable for under fifteens this one!), and the fact that the characters all speak words out loud rather than just text upon the screen! The voices are a riot, from the Scouser accented dung beetles to the very small and incredibly not frightening Grim Reaper (who is called Glen by the way!). Some of the cut scenes in this game are just hilarious, and will have you helpless with laughter (assuming your sense of humour is as tacky as mine anyway!) If I tell you that I’ve just completed three rounds with an opera singing great lump of poo, followed by despatching a brass monster (with balls of brass you know!!) using just two bricks and a lot of enthusiasm, I think you can get the idea of the way this game goes! Humour is what makes Conker so special, the animations and the voices are all superb, the graphics astounding and it’s very much like being part of a huge comic story where you control the action. The humour is very tacky in places, but it actually adds to the appeal of the game. It can also get a bit saucy in places; one scene involving a male cog having his female counterparts returned to him and fitted on correctly will certainly raise an eyebrow or two! And hopefully, a few titters aswell. It actually rendered my husband incapable for a few good minu
            tes as he writhed on the floor in giggles!! Although it’s great fun to play, it is surprisingly difficult in places. It took me a while to realise that the cute baby dinosaur/bird critter I had just hatched, was in fact to be sacrificed on a slab in a particularly bloody scene. I felt wicked as hell; poor little baby had been following me around like a lost sheep calling me ‘mummy’ for a good time too. :O( Expect to see many cutesy animals being disposed of in similarly gruesome fashion! Another favourite part of the game for me was when Conker hit the Rock Club, a nightclub playing the best in club music with a whole bunch of stone men (and buxom stone blonde women!) dancing merrily! If you let Conker rest by letting go of the joypad, you can watch him get into the swing of things with his own style of break dancing! Just too funny! :O) Conker is fond of his drink, it has to be said, so much so that when completely off his face, he can unzip himself and ward off enemies by directing a stream of urine at them! If you can handle tacky humour, poor jokes, an abundance of snot and poo, and like to giggle, then this game is for you! The puzzles are certainly challenging enough, and the game has good longevity. It also offers a great multi-player option, so if you and a few sozzled pals get together, you should be in your element! You can also replay any of your completed ‘chapters’ at any time, great if you want to recap on some of the best and funniest cut scenes. Pricewise, like most games for the N64, it isn’t cheap. It retails at £60 but the prices have come down since first released and you should be able to pick up a brand new copy of the game for around £40. But it IS a bit rude!! ;O)

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              28.09.2001 22:42
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              It is not everyday you see a little squirrel go down the pub, get very drunk and meet some of the most bad mouthed creatures in existence, well it is not everyday, it’s a bad fur day! This game has it all. Cartoon humour at it's best. You will Laugh out load every time you hear a charcter speak, its stuipdly funny. The game itself allows you to control Conker around many wacky and crazy worlds. Conker first of all tells you about his story and how he became king. He goes to the local pub and gets drunk before going to fight a war. He leaves the pub, so your first job is to sober the little guy up. Now you have to travel through strange places in order to stop the Tediz invading the grey squirrel colony. Go on Conker, save the day. This is got to be one of the best N64 titles ever. It is very original for a start. N64 games have generally been aimed at children, but Rare finally gave something the older audience can play. It is a cartoon game, but it involves almost every character swearing, blood and beer swelling heroes. The game is the first of it’s kind, but any Nintendo fan will hope for more of this style of game in the future. You meet many strange and wonderful characters in the game. Each with their own separate personally. The main hero of the game, Conker, he loves to drink and has a real zest for life. His girl, Berri has a very short temper, but looks all so sweet. Some of the most funniest characters in the game are Greg the Grim Reaper, he has something against cats and squirrels, he is the master of death, but don’t let that scare you, he will make you wet your pants with laughter. Just wait till you see the beetles, the four poo loving insects from Birmingham will make you laugh too. The characters really bring the game into its own and make CBFD very humorous. Long live the memories of Conker in Diddy Kong Racing, those days have gone, Conker has moved on. It is a good thing to.
              A great game, very playable. Ingenious levels and gameplay. Rare work a treat. Another thing Rare has added to this game to make it more exciting and humorous are the big baddies. The famous all mighty poo, shove a peg on your nose and cover your ears, his song will break some windows, but it is very entertaining. I think this is a job for toilet roll. Another funny baddies is the boiler boss. He has ver ‘sensitive balls’, whip out a pair of bricks, and you will be rolling around with laughter! The baddies are not the most challenging bosses on a game, but they are a riot to watch. There is so much in this game; I am very surprised it does not use the expansion pack. The graphics are unbelievably detailed. The sounds are very clear, and the voices are just hilarious and the sound fits in very well with the tone of each level. Very good. Once you complete the single player game, don’t be disappointed. There is still a fantastic multiplayer option to go through with many different types of games. It is all here, Rare really did get it 100% correct. There really are no complaints about this game. Apart from the fact that you have to 15 or over to play. Which is hardly surprising considering it is using adult humour. Though it is about time a game containing adult humour arrived on the 64, though is it to late in the N64’s life to save it? CBFD is a truly classic title, a monster of a game, extremely funny, something completely new and some eye- dropping action. Believe me, CBFD has to be one of the greatest games, who would of though this young squirrel could be the star of a game such as this? We should thank Rare for this break from childish games... but now we will expect more in the future.. Ice Blaster

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                22.09.2001 18:45
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                Turn down your Granny's hearing aid, lock away your little brother and lock the bedroom door! Its time to play on Conker's Bad Fur Day. Personally I think this has to be one of Rare's greatest Nintendo 64 games. The game consists of nine chapters each with subtitles like mini quests in that chapter. You start off with a Cutscene of Conker in his local and favourite pub making a fake phone call to his girlfriend Berri (who is doing a workout in a very tight fitting outfit) about some mates who are going to fight some war somewhere. Then gets totally drunk out, walks out of the pub and throws up on this monk with a stone tablet. He then staggers about and gets lost, in a field. There you will start the game and work your way back home to find you can't, and you have to sit in a throne without his girlfriend Berri and in a room full of people he hates (isn't life fair). The longest and most difficult chapter to do must be the 'it's war' chapter and is extremely long. Here you take on the role as a soldier in the U.S army and must complete certain tasks and take on the role in a scene of Saving Private Ryan (or Rodent in this case). THE CHARACTERS: Conker: Conker is the lady lovin, beer drinking red squirrel that everyone loves and wanted to play as for ages and is the main character in the game. Berri: Berri is a fitness freak and likes wearing tight outfits; her main roll is in the Matrix spoof of the Heist scene where Conker does his all famous impression of Keano Reeves (not bad at it too). Queen bee: The queen bee is very rich and altogether gives you around 500 dollars (yeah, cash prises) and asks you to help her get her hive back twice. The Great Mighty Poo: The opera singing great mighty poo, everyone switch your VCRs to Record cos this is one of the greatest bosses ever in gaming history. THE GRAPHICS: The graphics are some of the best I have ever
                seen in a Nintendo 64 game. The facial detail is great especially in Conker's expressions and other characters in the game. The background detail is also mouth watering it looks great (that is, if you think looking at a giant mountain of poo yeah!) and the detail is brill and you get an awful amount of freedom to wander wherever you wish. And the mouths move perfectly in sync with the voices. Oh this is gaming heaven in terms of graphics. THE SOUNDS: With some of the funniest, clearest, and best sounds in a game yet. The voices are great although Conker's is a bit weird kind of half-American, and half-English and the mafia weasels. My favourite characters and voices have to be the liverpudllian dung beetles, the main parts they are in are the Great Mighty Poo area and are hilarious. There are some of the best sound effects to; from a small squelching of Conker walking in mud to the sound of the environment that you are in, it is great. Especially the explosions in the Saving Private Rodent part! And the Zombies that roam the Spooky chapter. THE MULTIPLAYER: This doesn't just have to be with your friends it can be by yourself, and will keep you coming back centuries after completing the game, and gives huge amounts of fun. My all time favourite multiplayer level is the war part where you can team up or play against each other, and destroy your opponents, still the graphics, sound effects and humour is still their going strong. This is a definate must buy for all Ninty fans and if you aren't then this game is the reason you should get your hands on a Nintendo 64 console to play this game. MAGNIFIQUE, MARVELLOUS, 100%, 10/10, *****, 5/5!!!!!

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                  02.08.2001 05:16

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                  conker bfd is the greatest game ever number two will no way be able to beat it because its funny fun and a all round good game the bad guy must be the funiest thing ive seen the beging is quit confusing but when you get in to the game it becomes a million pounds you can never put it down. the multi player is great i mean theres not just one multi player option theres loads i would highly recor mend it to buy if you dont allready have it and when you do play it you'll see what i mean. the game play are a bit bumpy and grafics a bit poor but its hullarius i mean hitting someone wit a frying pan and ur a squirrle u will get hooked but it will take you a while to get into it. the game is though but the multiplayer is very up to date so if u fail at the game you can still have fun on the multiplayer. if you dont have the game alresdy then your a muppet go and bye one now or you'll miss out on one great game so be a gamer and bye thank you for reading bye.

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                  26.07.2001 03:05
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                  After a hard night out, Conker wakes up in a dazed state, and embarks on one of the most hilarious, action-filled adventures ever seen in a videogame. It looks similiar to a traditional 3D platformer, but discards all the nonsense item-collecting. Making cold hard cash is your only objective, and Conker will do whatever it takes, whether it be facing up against a crazed, angry pitchfork, or venturing into a giant world of poo! While Conker has copped much of the flak for the game's outlandish nature, it's the warped cast of characters that are the real perpetrators here. Almost every scene is a memorable moment fit for a MA+ Kodak commerical, as bloody violence, sexual inuendo, countless movie parodies, and plenty of cursin' rolls out in front of your eyes. Visually, the game pushes the limits of the N64 hardware, with vibrant, detailed worlds and fantastic character design. The sound is also outstanding, with fitting background effects and unbelievable character speech, boosting the game's personality by ten-fold. It isn't all roses, however, with camera troubles and sloppy third-person shooter execution in certain areas. It's at worst during the graveyard scene, where zombies charge from higher ground, Conker helpless to see them. While clear thought has also gone into providing varied multiplayer options, many also seem a little underdone too. Short, but infinitely sweet and soaked in fun-filled hilarity, Bad Fur Day is the most enjoyable gaming experience I've had in a very long time. Deprive yourself of this game, and you're a freakin' idiot!

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                    17.07.2001 23:29
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                    Mario, Banjo, Donkey Kong, Rayman you name as many 64 platformers as you like and I’ll have it. Platformers are great and all the above blew me away but it was whilst I was playing Donkey Kong when I finally got fed up. You see I recognised the signs I was getting bored with the same things. I panicked what could be done to save platforming? We have already made the step into 3-D does this spell the end of Platformers? Well luckily a certain foul-mouthed squirrel came to the rescue. His name is Conker and he has just had a very bad day a bad fur day in fact. If you haven’t got this game then get it now! Ok it maybe expensive but you will not regret spending any of it. You will laugh, cry, get scared and most of fall in love with the only game to come close to Zelda. You could be fighting the great mighty poo, trying to defeat an entire army of tediz or break into a bank Matrix style. The B-pad system stops the game from getting repetitive and will keep you on your toes. Blowing Zombies heads of with a shotgun leaving a gory mess of brains and blood beats even Resident Evil, the music inside Rock solid sound as if they came straight from the ministry of sound, Breaking into the bank matrix style is probably the best gaming moment in the world and racing on a super fast jet board is something to have Wipeout worried about. Then there is the Multiplayer, oh yes the multiplayer another stroke of genius. You could be Tediz with a rocket launcher or a sniper rifle stopping Frenchies from getting up the beach, maybe you would prefer being a cave man trying to steal eggs from a huge dinosaur or against a mate in a jet board race, or would you prefer being a gangster robbing a bank? Or fight an all out brawl in a tank? There is of course the normal deathmatch and many other modes such as capture the flag. You can play on your own or against your mates in multiplayer and is something that’ll keep you coming back to the slightly sho
                    rt one player. So what are you waiting for? If you are old enough get it and if your not get it any way! Dringo

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                    05.06.2001 01:39
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                    Recently i rented Conker's Bad Fur Day. I had been wanting to play it since the first review i ever read. I wanted to make sure for myself that it was worth 60 quid and i have to say, it's worth any amount of money they put on it. Though it's well worth the money, i was slightly disappointed to see it was 10 quid more than most other games, especially as that signals that the games prices are going up. My first impression was an unbelievable game. The cut scene at the beginning is brilliant and funnier than many of the comedy programs that you can see on tv. It set the pace for a great game. Well, i finished watching the cutscene and gained control of Conker. I found myself in the weirdest position that i'd ever found myself in a computer game. i was in control of a drunken squirrel who could hardly walk. well i walked up to this scarecrow and started laughing again as the scarecrow began to talk. It started to tell me about context sensitive buttons and i realised that this was another of Rare's brilliant ideas. I've always loved the way that you are taught how to play during the game so there's no point reading the instruction booklets. I managed to make Conker sobre again using a context sensitive button. He reached into his pocket and, weirdly, found some drink that stops him being drunk. Well i swam to an island jumped from platform to platform, pulled a lever, opened a door, went in and found a key jumping around. I learnt another move on the game now. I learnt how to use Conker's 'weapon' which was a frying pan. i hit the key with it and found the key just let me out of the cave. I went back to the top platform, walked halfway across a bridge and found a big stone-like creature which told me how sitting on gothic architecture for 200 years is horrible because it gets right up your arse. Well, i hit him with my frying pan and he fell off laughing. What a great beginning to a game. Not too challenging but i gue
                    ss that's just because it's the beginning. Apart from that it had everything: laughter, enjoyability and anything else that you'd want from a computer game. In conclusion, Conker's Bad Fur Day is the best game on the Nintendo 64.

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                      01.06.2001 01:26

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                      I will write about the first few chapters and the last few! Chapter 1: Hung Over The first chapter is: Hung Over, start by heading across the grass near the stream and over to the farmers field. Head to towards the drunkard of a scarecrow; Birdy. Birdy will tell you about the Context Sensitive Zones. Large B-Button Pads will immediately appear throughout the game and will provide Conker with whatever item he needs at that point in the game. There are also secret places throughout the game where you will encounter an unmarked Context Sensitive Zone as well. Hop aboard the nearby B-Button Pad and press the B Button to whip out a forty and hand it over to Birdy. You can press the B Button a couple of times to get Birdy some helium and another malt beverage. Leave through the gate and head to the B-Button Pad near the stream and use it to scrounge up a sobering tonic. Now it is time for Conker to head on back home, begin swimming down the stream in the direction of the island near the waterfall. High Jump into the air and then hover across to the branch on the left. Then head up the side of the cliff, past the locked door and towards the walkway to the large stone bridge at the top. On the other side of the stone bridge is a large Gargoyle. High Jump up to grab the lever. Pulling the lever down will open the locked door you went passed earlier. Backtrack down the cliff face to the doors entrance and go in. In the room is a key and suddenly Conker realizes that he always keeps a frying pan with him for times like this. Grab the Key and use it to open the and then head on back to the stone bridge where you pulled the lever. Run up to the Gargoyle and crack him with the frying pan. The Gargoyle will fall to canyon below but causes a massive shockwave, which causes the tunnel ahead of you to be sealed shut by a rockslide. Jump onto the largest boulder, high jump and then hover to the wooden platform on the right. With the B-Button Pad, use it to make
                      some dynamite and a plunger and then use it to blow away the obstacle. Now the obstacles out of the way, enter the tunnel in front of you. Head down towards the signpost and grab the Squirrel Tail off the back of it and follow the trail in the "nice" direction which leads you to Mrs. Queen Bee who has a favor to ask. Her problem is a bunch of wasps came and stole her hive and you guessed it, its up to Conker to get the hive back! Return back to where there were two paths (nice and nasty) and, yes that's right, head down the "nasty" trail. Head past the barbed wire and up the hill to where the stolen hive is. Go and pick the hive up and take it back to Mrs. Queen Bee where you will get some money as your reward. Now that you have some money head back to Birdy and show him $10 and he will give you a Manual. Conker will now be able to use the more complicated Context Sensitive Zones throughout the game. Stand on the B Button Pad and bring out your slingshot. (Read how to use if first of course!) With the sling shot take out the dung beetles near the tree stumps. Once the last beetle is taken out an entrance will open up in the tree behind them and head through it. Poo Cabin (after Barn Boys is completed) With your mask on have a look around and head into the cabin and talk with the head dung beetle. He offers you some poo, find the cows, get them to crap and then he will make you an actual ball of poo. Tap the B Button as the light bulb makes a sound over the trap door to turn into an anvil and smash your way into the hole below. Head on down the tunnel to the large gap and leap onto the rope closest to you. Keep swinging across until you get into the tunnel, follow it to emerge in a small barnyard. Pruned Head towards the rooftops and ledges where the poo balls are rolling down. There is a wheel at the top of the building, spin the wheel clockwise, which will open the valve to the prune juice. Basically you have to get
                      the Bull to ram the bulls eye. Make your way to the target and wait for the bull to charge you. High jump and hover over the top of him as he goes charges at you. If you do this right the bull will go charging into the bullseye, which then drops the gate to a hidden stable. Once this is accomplished a cow looking for some grass comes out. Your next objective is to get the bull to hit the center of the large target and get on his back while he struggles to free his horns. Repeat the same tactic as before (wait, leap and hover above the bull) when his horns get stuck drop down onto him and press the B Button. Now aim the bull towards the cow from before and press the B Button to charge the cow. Once hit the cow will head on over to the trough for a drink. When the cow realizes its drinking its prune juice it starts pooing like you have never seen before!. But its not enough and two more cows are needed to do the same thing. Charge the bull again at the cow to get rid of it and another target will appear. Repeat the procedure of getting the bull to hit the target, get on its back, charge cow etc. Except it will take two hits before the cow decides to step up to the trough. Get the cow to poo like before and then get rid of it by charging it one last time. With the final cow it will take three hits before it will drink from the trough. It's a good idea to fill up on chocolate to help withstand being thrown off the bull. Charge the cow to get rid of it as with the others once there done pooing. When its all over leave the way you came. Once arriving this disgusting cavern, swim (yes you actually swim in this stuff) across to the small alcove in the wall and use the B Button Pad to take a dose of pills. Conker will then dive under water (If you can call it water!!!). To swim under water just use the B button, Conker will go blue if he needs more air (swim to surface). Swim all the way back to where all of the ropes were and grab the Squirrel Tail found right at
                      the top. Now make your way back to the opening in the floor of the cabin. Back outside is the head dung beetle again with the poo ball you were promised. Push the ball through the sewage, straight over the edge of the cliff and into the lake. The ball is supposed to land right on a Spike Mine but if you miss it you must return to the cabin and begin rolling another poo ball. Behind the Spike Mine is a switch, use it to release a plug sitting at the bottom of the lake. Now make your way around the lake (which has a whirlpool in it now) and head towards the passage on the far side which lead to the bat's Tower area. Wasps Revenge (after Uga Buga is completed) Go back down the "nasty" path, and head up the hill and right into the wasp's nest. Inside the nest you will find the stolen property. Head towards the Queen bee's hive and you'll be tossed behind the controls of a gun turret. The controls are simple, use the Z Button to fire the turret and the Control Stick to aim your direction, any wasps that show up as red blips on the radar mean that they are nearest you, so its probably a better tactic to target them first!. Batch after batch will come at you so keep frying them! If your finding it hard then It's a good idea to go after the largest bunches of wasps first, that really heaps in the long run but it does take practice. When you have annihilated all the wasps, Mrs. Queen Bee will tell you to get moving so press the A Button to get out of the turret gun, grab the hive, and head back to the "nice" path. Return the hive to its foundation and collect your much needed money (yay!). Now head towards the wasps nest once more and enter the honeycomb area above the door to the left. Mr. Barrel Head up the hill, draw out the worms and then jump and hover over them. You should have $2,110 which is enough to get Mr. Barrel to help you out a bit. Jump on top of the barrel and then roll the barrel down the hill, crus
                      h all of the worms as you go. At the bottom the barrel will bust through the locked passage. Make sure you fill up on chocolate if your low and swim through the opening (the one you just made with the barrel) and to enjoy the long movie. Review Continued. Well now you're up to the third chapter, a wierd farmland. The first thing you have got to do is find Marvin the mouse. The problem in this area is to get rid of Marvin, Jack's girl is petrified of the mouse and won't get off Jack until the mouse has been destroyed. Head back to the left of the barn and be careful sneaking past the two hopping crates, when you arrive to meet "Burt", he decides to open the gate to the stable for you. Enter and hit one of the wedges with your frying pan. Grab the cheese and head off towards Marvin the mouse. Again, careful getting past the two crates, and don't take too long either or you will have to go back and get some more cheese. It takes three pieces of cheese to satify the mouse who then explodes and so the girl gets of Jack and your rewarded. Pitchfork Mayhem Make your way onto the roof (high jump and hover as normal) to the right you will find chocolate, money, and a button. You guessed it, press the button which opens the main entrance to the barn (what else would you do with a button???). Obviously you next step is to head over to that recently opened entrance. When inside your locked in and are faced by a group of haystacks. Franky is who you fight, first lead Franky towards the haystacks and stand in front of a haystack and jump and hover when Franky comes up to stick you. The result, Franky goes into the haystack. You want to aim at clearing the room of the larger haystacks first so you have more room to run around and be on the move. When you have gotten rid of all the haystacks, Franky will retreat to his paint buddies and is convinced to leave us forever, which he fails at. Now that's all done head on over to the other
                      side of the barn to the lever opposite the door. It opens the locked door and a hatch. Outside and to the right is the King Bee, completely stuffed after falling of the loft. Run over the bridge and go over to the sunflower. You have got to get the sunflower tickled by some bees, so leave and head back towards king bee and along the way, behold some bees that like tickling sunflowers! Lead the bees back towards the sunflower and watch them begin to tickle her, the sunflower then starts to consider getting back together with King Bee. In order to achieve this reunion you need to lead 5 swarms of bees to the sunflower. The first group of bees can be found on the platform below the entrance to the loft. The second group of bees is located at the very beginning of the area, where you emerged from the hole in the tree. The third group of bees are up on the at the edge of the rooftop, (near where the switch was the opened the barn) The fourth group of bees are found on the edge of a bucket in the sky. (Theres a ladder on the rooftop that takes you there) The final group of bees can be found on the rocks surrounding the cheese wedges. Once you bring the final swarm of bees to the sunflower, she will get to her open up and King Bee will be over her! (look at that bee go!!!) After this, jump on her and bounce upwards into the air three times and on the third bounce you will be able to hover into a cave and grab your next bundle of much appreciated money. Head on back to where the first group of bees was head into the loft before you. Inside there will a whole bunch of annoying bats will try to knock you out of the loft. The best way to get past the bats is to walk across the narrow beam where there are several Context Sensitive Zones along the way. When you use the Context Sensitive Zones (press B in time with light bulb) Conker will reach for a flamethrower and you will be able to use it to burn the bats. When you finally get to the final platform you may notice
                      your standing on a B Button Pad. Use it to equip Conker with some really cool knifes. When the remaining bats are eliminated aim a knife at the rope above Franky which will drop Franky to the floor. Franky Now that you have saved Franky he wants to lend a helping hand in your adventure. Now's the fun bit, jump onto Franky and hop towards the haystack that is now approaching (which is actually a Haybot). Use the B button to attack the haystack, and hit it three times. If it knocks you off Franky, run and get some chocolate on the other side of the room and then hop back on Franky. Managed to hit it a third time? Well done! But its not over yet, The Haybot quickly grabs himself some rocket launchers and is ready to annihilate some squirrel. Your basic aim is to combine his metallic skin with the live wires and water at the same time (electrify and water doesn't mix well). Get Conker back on Franky and take cover behind one of the pipes. The strategy here is to step out, get the Haybots attention and then quickly duck behind the pipe when he fires at you. His rockets will explode against the pipe creating a rather large break in the pipe making water squirt out. The Haybot will now charge at you, lure him to the water and when he steps into the water he will get electrocuted making him short-circuit. The Haybot will retreat to the center of the room and go all crazy as he is helplessly out of control. This is your chance, hop over to him and wait for the red "do not push" button. When the light bulb appears press the B Button which will make Conker press the red "do not push" button. Pressing the red button causes one of the Haybots arms to be severed and then water from the pipe will stop flowing. Its not over yet, you need to do this a total of three times so head to the next pipe and repeat the process (step out, draw his attention, lure him into the water and press the red button). The Haybot will be finished when you press the
                      red "do not push" button a third time. It seems there is a problem with the water level in the room, rush towards the exit sign and climb the ladder to the B Button Pad, use it to equip Conker with the throwing knives and take out the 3 wires nearest you. When you have done this, get back into the water and swim towards the ladder on the left where there is another B Button Pad and another three wires that need tending to. You will have to be quick before the water reaches you. Once these three have been cut down swim across the room and exit through the opening in the wall. This leads you to a small room with some chocolate, and some money can be found. Next thing to do once you've grabbed your goods is to stand on top of the tablet before you, which will throw you into the air. Hover over to leave through the doorway. You may notice a whole bunch of ladders before you, start climbing but watch out for any wasps along the way. When you make it to the top you will realize that there is no water down below any more! Believe it or not you have to jump off into the bucket below but its ok, there are two pieces of chocolate in front of you, its the outer piece of chocolate you want to get to. High jump and hover to the second piece of chocolate and just as you reach it a light bulb will appear. Press the B Button and Conker will turn into an weight, this allows Conker to smash into the ground safely and opens up the small tunnel near the entrance to the area. Head on over to the opened tunnel where you'll find some money and a squirrel tail. Now you have done everything so head back to the hole in the tree and get ready for the next chapter. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------- Chapter 9: Heist The Windmill's Dead Once you exit the military area head back towards the mountain where the windmill sat. At first everything will seem the same, but as you cont
                      inue towards the mountain you will see that wreckage of the windmill is scattered all over. The bee community is destroyed what a good year, don't you think? Once you get to the top of the mountain a scene will play showing Conker talking to Rodent. Once he is done jump into the ruins of the windmill and go out the exit through the back. You will be back outside and there will be a stone building to the side. Walk around to the front of it and you will run into the weasel. He will tell you he "may have a little job". You will meet up with Berri. The weasel will tell you that you are robbing the Feral Reserve Bank. After you get your new outfit walk up the steps and enter the bank. Enter The Vertex A scene almost exactly like the scene in the Matrix will play. It will show you walking into the bank setting off the metal detector then taking out a bunch of guards. Berri will come in and take out the last one then its time to go to action. Once the scene ends run forward to behind one of the pillars. Once you get there a light bulb will turn on. 2 guards will run up and start shooting at either the pillar you are behind or Berri. When you press the B Button you will do a matrix style flip where you get cross hairs to aim any bullets shot will show trails as they fly like in the movie. You should do this jump either when they are just running to get closer when they just come out, when they are regrouping (you will hear a weasel call out "regroup") or when they are shooting at Berri. Never do it when they are shooting at the pillar. Do not worry there will always be a little portion of the pillar left for protection, they can never completely destroy it. After you kill the first 2 guards 2 more will come out. A scene will play showing Berri taking out the first set of lasers. Then move up to the next row of pillars 3 guards will come out then 3 more after the first set is dead. Another matrix style scene will play. Move up aga
                      in there will be 3 guards to take out the first time then 3 more again. Another scene then up to the final row. This time there will be 4 guards both times. After the final scene plays head toward the elevator. Another scene will show you and Berri getting in and going up. Then you will both exit the elevator and Berri will disable the lasers and open the vault. Enter the vault and walk to the end. Once you get to the other side you will be in a room full of money. Knock out and pick up 3 bundles then the scene will fade and show you after you have $1000000 dollars. But the problems aren't over yet. Berri will point out that the "Fairy Panther King" is behind you. The weasel will come out and get his bounty for giving you into the King. When Berri tries to handle the problem the weasel pulls out his tommy gun and that is the end of Berri. The king then starts to get indigestion and calls out the professor. The professor starts talking about the incubation period. Not soon after an alien rips out of the Panther King's stomach. With the king dead, the professor takes them into orbit. The scene will end after the professor tells Heinrich to kill Conker. Once its over quickly pull down the lever underneath where the Panther King's throne was, watch out for the alien though he sometimes tries to whip his tail at you. By pulling down the switch you opened up the airlock and everything starts getting sucked out into space. Quickly, while still avoiding the alien go over and enter the room with the space suit in it. The Vault Once you enter the room the door will close and you will change into the space suit. Space Suit Controls Punch - B Button Block - Z Button Jet Pack - A Button To destroy the alien you need to knock it out by punching it after it attacks. The Alien has two different attacks which can each be determined by how it moves and growls. If it is a low pitched growl and it pulls its head back use the Z button to bl
                      ock. He will head butt into your suit that will leave him in a daze. Then punch him out by using the B button. His other attack is a tail whip, it will be a lighter pitched growl and he will throw his head to the side. Once his tail comes around lightly tap the A button so you get enough of a boost to just go over him so you have enough time to attack when he lands. Then while its on the ground walk over to its tail, it will show you picking it up. Then with the control stick spin around and by pressing B you will release the alien in the direction it was going. You need to throw the alien out of the airlock. You need to do this 3 times. After the third throw. . . End Cutscene 5: The Turret After the cutsecne, immediately run to the stack of crates to the right. Wait until the Tediz reloads, then run to the next stack. Repeat until you reach the turret itself. NEVER STOP MOVING. To stop is to have a death wish, except if the Tediz is reloading. There is chocolate situated around the turret. You can grab them without fear, as the turret cannot hit you when you’re so close. When you’re at maximum health, run to the rope that is against the wall next to the turret. You may want to time your ascent, but it sort of doesn’t matter, because it takes a second for the turret to relocate you, and by the time it does, you’ve climbed the rope and taken refuge behind the pipe. Wait there for it to reload again, then run all the way to the end of the box path. B Pad time! Bazooka time! Blast that tediz. When he’s gone to the Great Turret in the Sky, hop onto the now vacated turret. Here’s the fun part. It’s a Tediz shooting gallery! They will come from one direction, then the other, then finally both directions at once. My strategy is to fire in controlled bursts, and to reload regularly, so you don’t get caught with your things down. After they are all gone, the door at the end of one of the hallways will open, allow
                      ing for you to continue. PART 6: Saving Private Rodent/Air Raid! The captured Private Rodent is tied to a pole in front of a firing squad of Tediz. Slowly R button walk behind the Tediz, then fire! Target the leader first, on account he throws grenades. After the firing squad is gone, talk to the Private. Go up to the narrow path to the right. There is no need for your weapons here, so put them away. Watch out for the bombs! Their shadows will appear a second before they hit, so avoid stepping beneath the shadows. Also, when a proximity mine appears, quickly do as Private Rodent says, get behind him! You won’t be harmed from the explosion as long as you’re behind Rodent. Make your way up the narrow path, making sure Rodent is following you, then stop at the bridge. A cutscene will kick in. After that, jump onto the boat in the water to the right of the bridge. Bazooka time again! This is the hardest task you must do yet. You have a two-pronged threat this time. One is the bullets from the sniper nests above, and the other is the parachuting Tediz that deploy from airplanes above. You can bazooka the Tediz to buy some time, but another wave will soon arrive. If you need cover, dive into the water. That’s all I can say about that. Anywho, what you must do is shoot the glowing buttons sticking out of the humongous lock. Once they are all blasted off, the lock will break, allowing entrance to the base. Run like the wind! PART 7: Chemical Warfare After the cutscene, hop into the tank and press the R button. Shoot the door that is practically in front of you, then hop out of the tank. Go inside the blasted door. This is a straightforward path. Just remember to jump and helicopter over the toxic pools. Oh, and one more thing: every time you clear one of the pools, a proximity mine will come after you. Simply jump back across the same pool again to draw the mine into the chemicals. Right, when you reach the end, pull the lever, then ske
                      edaddle back to the entrance. Hop back into the tank. The large doors to the right are now open. Drive the tank to the first raised bridge. Now, this is a very tricky part, one of the hardest in the whole chapter. You must destroy the turret tower by shooting the yellow and black striped parts of each of its legs. The good news: The turret can’t hurt you while you’re in the tank. The bad news: The turret can hurt you while you’re outside the tank. Oh, did I mention there is a bottomless pit here? And grenade throwing Tediz? With all this in mind, you must time yourself so the turret is facing away from you. When it does, quickly hop out of the tank, helicopter across the gap, and run up the bridge. Don’t worry about the grenade Tediz for now. At the very top of the bridge is a faded B pad. Press B to turn into an weight and slam the bridge into position. Scram back to the tank and drive over the bridge (and the Tediz hehe). At the next bridge, shoot the second leg off of the tower, then repeat the whole process again, starting from timing yourself. Eventually you will complete a circuit around the tower. When all of its legs have been shot out, the turret will explode and fall, creating a hole in the process. Get out of the tank, balance across the log, and jump into the hole. PART 8: Little Girl/Teddifunkin U47 Go and talk to the little girl at the center of the platform. It’s a bit unusual she knows a lot about the enemy attack, and I don’t think it’s from school. After you talk to her, run to the edge closest to where the submarines are firing. Again, for this area, never stop moving. Hint: When the missiles are launched, their targets are locked. The way to avoiding missile fire is to move after each launch. Once you locate the subs, wait for a new launch, then carefully walk down the metallic platform to a bazooka B pad. Shoot those annoying subs. When you’ve cleared one spot of subs, move on to the next
                      . The spots are situated next to each of the surreal tree trunks. The launches of the missiles intensifies after the first spot. Clear all three spots, then go back to talk to the girl. PART 9: The Experiment Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Luckily, you have the tank with you. Run away from the monster and leap into the tank. The little girl will then introduce lesson one: ballistic. Take refuge in one of the tree trunk’s holes. When the Tediz pauses to reload, quickly pop out and shoot one of it’s weapons out using the R button. It would help if you would rotate the turret so it’s facing the Tediz using the left or right C buttons so you don’t have to do that when you’re aiming. After the mini guns are gone, the Tediz will come after you. Roll away from him, and when you have a distance form him, bring up your sights and shoot the little girl from his left hand. The puppet will throw insults at you. When the Tediz is looking for his puppet, he’ll expose his back to you. Shoot the red area in the small hole in his back. When you damage him, quickly roll back to tone of the tree trunks and hide. The little girl will then introduce lesson two: lasers. You can’t hide for this one, because the lasers have unlimited ammo. Roll around the edge of the platform, and eventually you’ll out run the lasers for a moment. Bring up your sights and shoot off one of the weapons. Then zip around again and shoot the other. When his weapons are off, do the same thing again like I described: shoot the puppet off his hand, etc. The little girl will then introduce the final lesson: Missiles. Mark Two. Fur guided. Hide or be destroyed. Your choice. Each of the two missile launchers will fire four missiles, so count to eight, pop out, shoot, then hide, because these weapons reload VERY fast. These also take two hits to destroy. Now repeat the process again of shooting off the puppet, and damaging the Tediz. After the you hit him, he’ll co
                      llapse in a heap. PART 10: Countdown! Well, at least the timer goes down slowly. You only have 4 minutes and 30 seconds to get yourself out of here! Start by dropping into the hole right in front of you. After jumping over the first set of lasers, crawl under several beams just left of the center of the hallway. After you jump over a large crate, you will come to lasers that cover space high and low. Get close, duck, jump high, and helicopter over the top row (VERY HARD). Be warned! In the middle of your route through the hallway, you will encounter two Tediz. Kill them quickly and continue on. Next, climb the box and crawl under the lasers. When you reach the last room in the bunker, another ambush of Tediz will appear, just like in the first time. But this time you will have a bazooka. Clear them all, then rush out the door. PART 11 (Final): The Beach (again) You’re almost home free. My advice: Run. You run yourself stupid. Tediz will chase you from behind and in front of you. Shoot only the Tediz that get in your way. Otherwise, get the hell out of there! Make you way to the boat. Rodent will survive, you will be victorious, and there will be Peace at Last! Finally, you could get home, get some sleep..what?! Another job?!

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