Surely there can't be many worse ideas than a quiz game where the outcome is completely and utterly random and the contestant is asked to be able to display no more skill than being able to count up to twenty-two, can there? How about a computer game version where the only redeeming feature of the TV show - winning money - is removed? Or worse, where the graphics are so irredeemably awful that they genuinely look like an 8-bit game from the 1980s? It can't get any worse than that. Can it? How about two of them?

This is, indeed, the second DS game based on Noel Edmonds' skill- and interest-free cosmic-ordering poo-fest Deal Or No Deal. Even if you like the show - which, from my previous comment, you can probably work out that I don't - there is no excuse for a game so relentlessly low-rent that I can only assume the developers programmed it in their tea break.

It fulfils its basic criteria, which is to offer a game of Deal or No Deal. You choose a box, and then proceed to randomly choose other boxes while trying to persuade yourself that you've got some kind of plan. At certain points the Banker pops up and offers you far less money than you want. You can ignore him and play on, or choose to Deal and accept his offer - at which point the game continues anyway in the hope of making you feel stupid for Dealing. At the end of the game you win nothing. You've wasted five minutes of your life.

In addition there's a Banker mode where you get to play as the Banker. Thing is, it's simply no fun, as all it really does is lower your interaction with the game even further. Then there's the Banker's Bonus mode which allows you to challenge the Banker to a simple game of Mastermind in order to affect his respect for you, thereby altering the amounts he offers. Neither of them are substantially more fun than the original game mode, and the Banker mode is considerably less so.

So why do I consider this game to be so substandard? Because on the title screen there's music that's actually out of tune. Because this is a game with ugly, lumpen avatars. Because the Noel Edmonds sprite has exactly three frames of animation and is drawn in exactly six colours. Because the "excitement" of the game show is expressed using three sound samples, all of them of such muffled low quality that it's like listening to the show in a different room with a pair of socks pulled over your head. Because even with a multiplayer mode and that Mastermind bonus game this is thinner than a hermit's address book and shallower than Jude Law.

With it's rotten graphics, awful sound and dearth of features this is the kind of quick cash-in game that deserves to gather dust on the shop shelves forever, and while it's not the worst game I've ever played it's certainly near the bottom of the pile. Not just cheap, but cheap and nasty.