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The Rules - Ellen Fein

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  • only works for debutantes, cheerleaders and prima donnas
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    4 Reviews
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      09.06.2009 12:03
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      a review on the million selling dating guide "the rules"

      At first I was a bit sceptical about the concept of the rules. However, after being heartbroken two times after chasing men I decided to give it a try. After all, the old saying goes like this: fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on you. Furthermore, the two situations shared a similarity - both guys had been interested in me and all of a sudden their interests waned.

      So, I decided to pick up the rules and in one lonely evening I decided to read it. And boy, did I get a revelation.
      The basic premise of the book goes like this, men enjoys to thrill of the chase. Once you give in, the chase ends and their interests stop.
      After all these times and I thought I was doing the right thing by giving in...
      Another thing that I liked on this book is that they tell you to focus on yourself first. In other words, be the product.

      In the past my self-esteem had been low and I admit that I didn't look after myself much. But after reading the passage in the book I decided to get a makeover. I began using make-up more, changed my hairstyle and began dressing up in current fashion. After looking at myself in the mirror - my confidence improved. I also began having therapy to solve my self-esteem issue.

      Now, when I walk down the street I walk with my head up high.
      Many people had commented that this book is manipulative to men but I believe that the only person that is being manipulated is you, yourself.
      You manipulate yourself to enjoy life, feel good and don't believe that getting a man is not the end or be all of life.
      Furthermore, I believe that the methods recommended in this book, the rules, is to weed out all the uninterested men that enter our lives so that you don't waste your precious valuable time on them, leaving only men who REALLY likes you in.

      Of course some rules are silly. For example rule 3 which states:
      "Never stares at men or talk too much"
      I mean, are we never to flirt?

      All in all I recommend this book to all the single ladies out there. It is an eye-opener and it literally changed my life. Although I don't have a boyfriend yet, I am too busy enjoying life to notice.

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      12.10.2004 14:37
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      Everyone has heard of the book, "the rules", and women all over the world swear by it. I thought i might read it, because God knows my love life needs some help.
      The rules is supposed to be a helpful guide for women to learn how to act with men.
      I just found it absolutly hysterical.
      It amazes me that some women would actually listen to this throwback 1950's rubbish.
      The rules include.
      -Dont talk to a man first, and dont ask him to dance.
      -dont stare at men or talk too much.
      -dont meet him halfway, or go dutch on a date.
      -dont call him, and rarely return his phone calls.
      These are only a few of the "rules" but it gives an example of how ridiculous they are.
      How on earth is a women supposed to meet a man if she cannot talk to him, look at him, call him, or answer his calls. Are we supposed to use telepathy?
      The rules advocate the most bizarre example of playing hard to get that i have ever heard of.
      There are some good points to the book, like the way it tells women to make the best of them selves, and to creat an attitude of self appreciation, but surely this is just common sense.
      All in all, i found the book totally ludicrous and unhelpful. If i want to meet a man, I WILL talk to them, I WILL call them.

      (The fact that I dont have a boyfriend has NOTHING to do with the rules.)

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        27.02.2004 00:42
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        • "only works for debutantes
        • cheerleaders and prima donnas"

        Claptrap! The Rules is not worth its salt and I knew I should have spent my five dollars on a more enlightened approach to the dating jungle. The Fein/Scneider verbatum is little more than a modern reinterpretation of the pre-feminist, Eisenhower era of coupling. This is little more than playing cat-and-mouse for the intent of feeding on the biologically ingrained male desire to pursue and hunt and the many gray zones and pitfalls of dating in the post feminist era are not given quarter to. If you're a shallow, high-maintenance prima donna, debutante, cheerleader or beauty queen by all means read this book. But the rest of us have some thinking to do. I don't want to bore you to death with a long string of reasons not to buy into the cheesy, outdated strategies of the book, so I will limit myself to five major points: 1 Concerning the first Rule: A woman who truly believed she was a Creature Unlike Any Other wouldn't need a book to verify it. 2 Some men are bashful and almost all fear female rejection, barring handsomeness or wealth and the authors fail to acknowledge this; instead they throw out blanket statements like "If he doesn't call/ask you to dance/ask you out, he's not that interested!" 3 A man can be attracted to you more intellectually, emotionally, platonically, or romantically...but the authors insist that "A man is either attracted to you-or not!" 4 As long as she doesn't throw herself upon him, a woman can make a first move-and a smart one if it turns out the guy liked her all along but was afraid to approach her or didn't know the best way to. These subtlties are never given quarter to and they do exist in the dating world. 5 The authors are DIVORCED. Surprise, surprise. So they ate their own words-and after promising readers that if they followed the rules they would get a marriage made in heaven.

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          20.02.2001 22:59
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          The Rules is a book which has reportedly sold over one millions copies world wide. This alone is quite a scary prospect. The general theme is that if you are a single woman in the 'noughties' (year 2000+) then you HAVE to follow these 35 rules in order to secure yourself a man (I don't think we're allowed a choice). So what are these rules and how come we have been able to live without them for so long? Well the authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider are convinced that if you haven't been using these tried and tested methods to catch a mate, then you've been doing the dating thing wrong. They state such gems as 'be a creature unlike any other' as the first step to your happiness. Even the ugly girls have to just accept this fact and rise above it...there is hope for us all it seems. But what happens if he calls me? What should I do? No fear, read your Rules and it will all make sense, for now we are all 'Rules Girls' now. Page 40 sensibly tells us not to call men as 'you might catch them in the middle of something...when they may not be in the mood to talk to you. Why take the chance?' Why indeed? Maybe because this is not middle America circa 1952 and most women do know how to operate a telephone by now. This book is full of the sad pathetic little laws of how a woman should conduct herself in order to get a ring on her finger. What ever happened to having fun and seeing what happens? This is not a 'Rules' thing to do apparently. And don't even think about talking to your therapist about the Rules...like all good cults, you are advised not to let anyone know as they wouldn't understand. No, somehow I don't think they would actually.

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        • Product Details

          Infamous guide to what behaviour women will need to display to 'get their man'. Apparently.