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It is a known fact of (sexual) life that having an orgasm for a woman is not always as easy as it is for men. I borrowed this book from a very good friend of mine.
The author, Rachel, divides the book in 3 parts, the first one is dedicated to the female body and the mechanism of orgasm, the second one is more "hands on", erm, I mean, it gets practical on what can be done to achieve the orgasm and the last part debates whether it is fair to fake an orgasm.
The whole book aims to help women have an orgasm with a partner, although the technique suggested includes a lot of masturbation and mutual masturbation. I did not find that the book was enlighting, but I found that it was stimulating (gosh, I really cannot find the right words for this review LOL) because Rachel wrote the book at a time when her relationship with her husband was having problems. Having spoken and debated this book with 2 female friends, we realized that there is may be too much focus on achieving the orgasm with a partner, which in itself is not a bad thing, but some readers may find that they are not in a position to do so at the moment and find the book not applicable to them.
There was also some debate on whether to fake or not to fake an orgasm. Rachel suggests not to do it, personally I admitted to the sin of having faked few orgasms. Overall, this is an interesting book, I would suggest you read it first on your own, and may be later involve your partner. I think that it may also make a good read for men.
Is an orgasm necessary for a women? I mean is it really an important part in a sexual relationship? Well to most women, Yes an orgasm is important but not the climax of a sexual relationship. A high number of the female population don't have some sort of sexual release. Even the other women who can orgasm can only orgasm by masturbation alone but not with their partner. Why? Why can't women have the same sort of release as men do every time they make love to their partners or even on their own. Me personally think that an orgasm isn't necessary every time I make love but to have a sexual release is important for mind, body and soul. So what is a orgasm and how do you know you have had one? Well for most men there is physical evidence of an orgasm as well as emotional. Men orgasm for a reason ... to procreate. For many women an orgasm is mostly emotional with a physical glow. There is apparently no procreation reason why women orgasm and many men over look that women should have the opportunity to orgasm when and where they want. Saying that I did watch a very interesting program about 5 years ago where a tiny micro camera was inserted into the vagina while a women has an orgasm. Its is now thought that while having an orgasm, the cervix dips down. So if a women has a orgasm after sexual intercourse the cervix actually dips into the pool of semen the is laying at the neck of the cervix. Who said that women's orgasm isn't part of the procreation process eh? This book called "Women's Pleasure " or "How to have an orgasm as often as you want "is a self help book for women. Whether you don't have a sexual release or you cant let go in front of your partner this book is just what you need between the sheets. The contents is split up into three sections. The first section is about the author and how she come to write a book on her own experiences. Rachel Swift then decided to empow
er herself and a few of her friends in developing a program to help women get on the right path into self satisfaction with or without a partner. Rachel also goes into detail on the biological, physical and spiritual aspects of an orgasm. Section two is the basic program in which you can follow to help women to achieve orgasm. It takes a slow build up from masturbating without a partner and taking the techniques that you have learned about your own body and helping your partner achieve the same techniques. These techniques include having an orgasm while having intercourse as well as mutual masturbation. Section three takes up the issues of whether its a good idea to fake orgasms with your partner, fantasies, what effects your ability to reach orgasm and a special chapter for the men. So how did I stumble on this book? Well before we got married seven years ago, we were going through a stale patch where our sexual life was concerned. My brother had given us "The Joys of Sex" by Alex Comfort, which we did find interesting. At this time in our life, we had a lot going on, stress of work for Tim, I was going through clinical depression and the most stressful thing was we were getting married. Now, anyone who has suffered from any sort of depression might agree that the first thing to go is sexual interest. I couldn't be bothered with it. But the thing was that although I didnt what Tim, I still wanted my sexual release. I had no problem at all before all this stress came into our lives but after a while I became very frustrated as it seemed I had lost the knack. See for women who don't have that release can suffer from a variety of physical problems as well as emotional ones. Oh dear I hear you sigh, is this going to be a long opinion on Chrissypops sex life. Well yes and no, I shall not go into gory explicit detail but after all this is a self help book . I went into WHSmiths one afternoon after having a compl
ete blow out the night before with Tim over sex, I came across this book by Rachel Swift. I was looking for something for us, like "The Lovers Guide." But when I saw this book, I thought to myself, well its for ME. Yes ME, that made a change. So after paying 8.99 I took it home and began to read. The thing that struck me most what the fact that this Rachel wrote this book because she, herself was having problems in her own marriage. The program that she devised was trial and error and set out over a period of months. She even managed to rope a few friends who also were having problems with achieving orgasms with their partners. The basis of the book is that before you expect a man to know what pleases you, you need to know yourself. How? Experimentation. To love your body and to accept your hang ups. So what if you don't like making love with the lights on. You can try experimenting with different lighting rather than have a blurring main light on. If there is something you don't like, accept it and find a way around it. Most women who don't have an orgasm either own their own or with a partner still would like to make love more often. But cant be bothered. Our sexual love life takes a battering from our stressful daily lives. Make time every night to build the intimacy between you. It doesn't have to be goal orientated (orgasm) just taking time to rediscover each other is sometimes enough I worked through this book mostly on my own but there is nothing to stop you getting your partner involved. There is a small section which is supposed to be just for women but it is good if you can get your partner involved in the rest of the book. If I remember rightly after a few weeks of going on my own, I had been given back my ability, if that's a good word, to please myself again. The hardest part was relaying it back to my hubby. The thing I found really hard was admitting to myself that
I had on a regular occurrence had faked a few orgasms, which on reading this book I decided it was a big no-no. Any relationship should be built on honesty and until I came to terms that proving to Tim that I had to have an orgasm every time we made love wasn't an ideal, I couldn't orgasm with him. This was a big hurdle for me and even now I see an orgasm as a bonus not the goal of our love making. It was slow progress but after six months or so we really did begin to feel the effects of this book. As well as reading the Chapter for men at the back of the book, Tim actually read the complete book in detail. All sorts of questions started to pop up then about my own sexuality that he didnt even think about asking before. This led us both into a greater understanding of what each other wanted, greater intimacy and in the long run, a better love life. Seven years on and after reading a few bits and pieces out of it because again our sex life seems to going through a lull, I have found this book invaluable. Rachel's writing style is easy to read and because she is a real life women, who had problems of her own and she set out to help herself, its the best self help book for women I have ever come across. There is definitely things to make you go mmmmmmmmmmmmm in this book!
This is a personal account by a non-specialist, which attempts to show women how to succeed in reaching orgasm. The book answers questions about tackling the realities of sex, with advice aimed at increasing the number of orgasms experienced.