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TOBAR DRINKING GLASSES:
Object: versatile plastic straw
Purpose: To help tragic males to find tragic females
URL: http://www.tobar.co.uk - For all your cheesy novelty items.
Interesting fact: Tobar is a small town located in a valley in the 'North of Spain.' 'Tobar drinking glasses, 'have never been located in this area in fear of being vaporized in a Sangria Jug.
I condone drinking games as a rule and there are far more important items that will aid you though life than a pair of 'drinking glasses.' Nevertheless, on this occasion I'm introducing you all to one of my 'going out' accessories, which I call my 'beer goggles.' - It is suppose to stop inappropriate advances from the ladies who swan over, slightly worse for wear. It appears ladies embrace stupidity and the glasses only draw attention to my dotty wayward charms. In fact chums have weirdly claimed they can only 'pull' with the 'drinking glasses.' - So I hire them out on a minute by minute rate, accepted payment is of the alcohol kind.
- My better half has actually borrowed the glasses for a 'hen night' for 'novelty reasons, 'so she claims. On receiving the glasses back, their condition did make me ask questions, such as: 'Whose lipstick is on that straw?' 'Why is it so sticky?' 'That is sherbet I take it?' 'How did you get a Kiwi, that far up?' - Whoever it was must have hell of suction locked away in their cheeks, don't work for Dyson do they? Anyhow, she announced that nothing untoward happened and some Kiwi had lodged itself there without an invitation. - I smile, as it's the same for me and 'strawberry blondes.'
Afraid of setting your TV Sky box to 'series record;' then join the two straw pieces together before alcoholic beverage consumption.
Whatever you feel about fashion, the 'drinking glasses' go with any attire; especially with slightly pinky glazed eyes. Originally, my famous 'drinking glasses' were translucent , clear; before any stains and fruit residue took up residence. One smaller straw and one longer versatile straw is all what was in the package. Attach the smaller straw to the longer straw, preferably before any consuming of alcoholic beverages, otherwise not doing an easy operation of joining the two straws up could lead to you binning the 'drinking glasses' due to frustration, before they can work there magic on your chosen drunken hussy, or a studious Bill Gates look alike; the 'drinking glasses' will do their magic on any being who 'drinks' with them on. They tickle the fun-side of gorgeous ladies who 'do lunch;' the glasses then take away the uptight, guarded barriers that are visually evident when a dorky, uncomfortable, talkative poor excuse of a male descends beside them. - They'll be putty in the hands within three minutes. Also apply them with drink, that's vitally important.
During my early bachelor days, I use to get a flamboyant cocktail for the young lady and stick a pair of 'drinking glasses' in the beverage, and garnish the glasses with an array of fruits and mint, for decorative value. - I would then proudly present the piece of art and say, "Sorry for being too fruity with you, but I couldn't resist." If I still was getting the 'cloak and dagger stare' after that. I knew I was in for a long night. Don't try it out with a Divorce Lawyer; they don't understand banal plastic toys, that don't vibrate. Hairdressers with major hair volume are always worried whether the 'drinking glasses' would leak out 'toxic' alcohol into their fake extensions that ultimately will cause hair rot, and that is not good. Not in their profession, and I'll be to blame. They guzzle the 'toxic' alcohol like no tomorrow, without a thought about their liver, working like a burned out North Korean 'spin doctor.'
The darker the beverage, the better the glasses work, you can see the liquid circulating the eyes, refrain from this mesmeric activity, if your operating with 'heavy machinery.'
When I mean heavy machinery, it is best you gauge a mood with whom you're subjecting this fun piece of plastic to. Accidents have happened and plastic surgery had to be applied to get the tubular shape back after been sat on by more than generous derrieres. Yes, the novelty factor does wear off after seven memorable minutes dipping in and out of different coloured cocktails, unless of course you meet a very grateful amorous lady who laughs like a hyena at every pathetic one-liner and then forgets she's got the 'drinking glasses' on. - I quickly pop her into a taxi having had a very important text from my imaginary gorgeous girlfriend, whose in town wondering which bar I'm at. - Always have a 'get-out clause.'
'Gordon the Goffer' and Phillip Schofield, 'a toy mallet' and Timmy Mallet: I belong to a prestigious group of professionals
Toys in unusual environments create amusement, and indeed is an 'icebreaker' when it involves being social. One of the unique selling points to the 'drinking glasses' is that you only need to wash in normal fragrant free soap after each session of frolics. A washing-up bowl and some 'Fairy' suds preferably; not in the small print of the terms and conditions of use, but still effective 'hygiene wise.' Feel free to stretch out the straw after a good wash, because I've found like a coil it does twist and turn inside itself as randomly as possible, all by itself like a hurt worm wriggling after a poke by a garden fork. Relax it won't do this on your face, once it has calmed down from its wash. Having said that it does depend on the perimeter of your head, so if the skull is too big or small, the 'drinking glasses' won't be as effective. Sizing up the skull on your date or pub target would be beneficial, but make it a quick observation of the head, rather than a long curious stare as if you are a 'Gorilla searching for knits to munch on.'
Priced at 1.99 GBP (retail) - These also can be found at Pound Stretchers across the UK in the amusement and novelty sections.
Best used when the wife or better half isn't in the vicinity; or with easily pleased people with childish tendencies.
Thank you for reading
Copyright - 07- 2010 1st2thebar
Well this will be the first of quite a few reviews on the weird and wonderful gifts that were received by my brood this Christmas, this one being the weirdest!
My sisters boyfriend decided this year to buy the entire of my family a gift each. Now with the older generation, (myself included), we are reasonably easy to buy for, chocolate and booze being at the top of our wish lists. There are two certain people who are not so easy to buy for, not that they have discernable tastes, but more the fact they receive so much stuff on Christmas morning that getting a present that hasn't already been bagged by another relation is very bloody difficult. Of whom do I speak.... Well my two children of course!
The gift that he finally decided on for my son is - "Drinking glasses, by Tobar"
These in themselves are a pretty ingenious idea, combing two of my sons favourite things, straws and drinking through them!
The packaging is very basic. There is the "straw glasses", and two clear lengths of tubing, one shorter than the other.
These are all vacuum packed in plastic and secured against a cardboard sheet with a cartoon picture of a man using the glasses.
To remove you simply tear the plastic away from the cardboard and remove the glasses and tubing.
Before use it is always advisable to wash all the components in hot soapy water rinsing well before use.
The set up again is very simple. You attach the shorter tube to one side of the glasses, this will be the mouth piece. The longer piece is attached to the other side and this will be the part that goes into the drink.
The most advisable thing to do before putting this part into your drink is to try and stretch this out a little before use, otherwise you will find it tries to curl back up again making a bit of mess in the process!
Then you simply drink! My son tends to drink blackcurrant pop, (what with him only being three years old!), this looks very effective being sucked through the clear glasses.
These are available direct from the companies website, for more information on this and the other hundreds of novelty products available visit - www.tobar.co.uk
These particular glasses retail at £2.99, to be honest if they had cost anymore I would have felt it was a rip off, this price reflects the item.
This is a lovely novelty product that will keep my son entertained for months to come!
Thanks for reading x
The glasses are made from a long piece of flexible tubing, so simply put them on, insert the short end into your mouth and the long end into your drink