The best place to stuff a beaver. (Bear Factory)

Member Name: h27gooner

Product:	Bear Factory
Date:	19/05/09 (67 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Kids love it.

Disadvantages: Adults hate it and it costs a fortune.

My daughter is 7 years old and has become obsessed with this place. I took her there last week to see what all the fuss was about and it was quite an eye opener. There is a routine you go through in there which for a 7 year old girl is magical but for a 39 year old is torturous and embarassing. First you choose your teddy from a host of pelts which would make Davey Crockett proud. Once chosen, the Americanised assistant who is actually an overweight teenager from Hounslow asked which heart you want to put in it. This heart has to be kissed before being placed into the hollow skin. They also ask if you would like your toy to have a voice. You then choose from a series of irritating screeches and, in my daughter's case, end up with an animal that sings like Hannah Montanna. The toy is then stretched over something resembling a sex toy and is stuffed. Just like a sex toy you can choose whether you want it hard, squeezable or limp. Once complete, the animal is stitched up and then the process of accessorising takes place. Here you can buy clothes, superhero outfits, shoes, sportswear and anything else you can imagine. Interestingly, these items, measuring no more than 6 inches square, cost more than my own clothes which are designed to fit a 6'3", 15 stone frame. Finally, you sit at a computer and complete a birth certificate. This entire process lasts about 8 minutes and will set you back more than the entire GDP of Zimbabwe.

Summary: Cheaper to buy a faberge egg.