Globule Video (Global Video)

Member Name: spacelamb

Product:	Global Video
Date:	01/02/01 (35 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Ha! (sorry, prices aren't bad)

Disadvantages: bizarre administration

That's what we used to call Global when I and a several of my friends worked there a few years ago. Yes it's juvenile, but you try going in there every day. I thought I would write this from the point of view of an ex-employee so you can get the truth behind the smiley face of Global Video (have I made that sound sinister enough?)...

If you were thinking of joining and you have an alternative I would suggest trying the alternative first, simply because their membership system is so complicated. To join you need to bring:

- 12 pieces of ID, 9 of which must be gas bills showing today's date
- an autunmal leaf
- your next door neighbour's passport

No of course you don't, but you will feel like the staff are going out of their way to make it hard for you, no matter how cheerful they are. Also, if you get through the initiation they will give you a rehearsed speech that lasts, ooh, most of your evening on the dos-and-don'ts of being a member of Globule. You will forget them all as soon as you leave the shop.

Then there's the pay on return system which is madness. The principle behind is that you, er, pay when you bring the video/DVD/game back. But of course people forget this, and when the shop's busy they just leave them on the counter, and then the next time you go in it's black looks all round and threats of lifetime expulsion.

Don't ever ask an employee of Global to recommend a film either, because that is a sure-fire guarantee that you will hate it. The number of times I recommended something only to be met the following evening with a barrage of complaints that it was 'weird' or 'arty' or 'complicated'. Well choose for yourself then! (Needless to say I stopped recommending The Lion King after that).

To redress the balance on Globule's side (perhaps I've been a bit harsh), their prices are good (£2.99 for a new release for 2 nights,
older films £1.50 for two nights, kids films 99p) but...their selection is very dodgy. I found it very hard to keep a straight face when a little old woman asked me (and I swear on my life this is true) what 'One Tough Bastard' was about, or (in another instance) whether 'Bikini Traffic School' was going to be rude. Dear dear dear.

If you were thinking of applying for a job there I can only say DON'T, as they pay the tightest wages you can imagine, and they also play a 20-min trailer tape over and over again all day in the shop until you feel like taking your own life. You have been warned.

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