Excellent Site for You Round eyes (Chopstix.co.uk)

Name: Cammij

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Product:	Chopstix.co.uk
Date:	14/11/02 (129 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Real authentic food, Books, Horoscopes

Disadvantages: Shipping charges, Have to order too much alcohol at once

Hello, I want to establish that I am totally qualified to write an opinion on this site because I am a lover of great food, and expert on Chinese culture and incidentally I am what is known on my side of the pond as ABC, American Born Chinese (and I do have many BBC friends). And if any of you speak Mandarin you may notice that "Cammij" sounds a lot like Kangmei, a name that is popular in China that means "Resist America"

I want to say that this site is perfect for all you Yang Kwei people. That is what I consider Europeans that make some absurd foray into Asian culture, thinking that they are experiencing the world by tiring of bland fish and chips or pot roast so they go out and eat food at a Chinese restaurant owned by laotians that serve dishes invented in America such as Chop Suey. Maybe you like to act like you can use chopsticks there? That is entertainment to us, with all of our hard work it is payment enough to see a white devil try to use chopsticks. But also I like when the big noses think they can speak Chinese and tell me they want "Cha", they say "Horse" but I think they want Tea so I give them plenty of good green tea and then I accomondate them by putting some horse meat in their meal since they did ask for Horse meat. It is just that Yang Kwei are so dumb about food, One time a man ordered Peking Duck and my dog had jumped on the counter and taken my last portion of duck so I sent my houseboy to KFC to buy a breast and wing and we served it to the man in place of Peking duck and he said it was the best Peking Duck that he ever tasted. And to think it only cost him 13 quid for some KFC.

So why is the site good for all you Yang Kwei? Because as of now it is a dead link. There is nothing there which is good. China does not need any more dealings with Britain. You want to know about British and Chinese relations? How about the long history culminating in the Opium Wars? The British purp
osely hooked the chinese people on Opium and then raised the prices causing unbelievable suffering all for profit. Now you want to feel better by going and buying some M
oo Goo Gai Pan? (an American creation)

Let's talk about another dish all you round eyes like, "General Tso's chicken". Let me tell you something. Calling a dish General Tso would be paramount to opening a pub in Portadown and having a dish called "Lord Cromwell's Irish Stew". Tso was a ruthless murderer who was a failure in life, unable to pass the exam to serve the imperial court. But when some Chines people revolted against the Imperial rule Tso served as the European's lackey and took their weapons to brutally surpress the masses. It is one of my favorite dishes too, right up there with Sepp Dietrich Saurkraut and Stalin Borscht.

So you don't deserve a good website allowing you to purchase our great food like Mao Tai and 1,000 year eggs. You people should just continue to eat fermented rotten milk that you call cheese like the big nose barbarians you are. But because I am so gracious and wanting to respect my hosts of dooyoo and bring honor upon their house I will tell you about some excellent sites that you can order Chinese food from since Chopstix.uk is dead.

The best site in the Uk for ordering authentic Oriental products (not like cans of La Choy that you normally like) is hoohing.com. yes it is .com and not UK but do not worry it is British and everything is in Pounds. They have a great selection of not only alcohol (albeit you must order at least 12 bottles) but sauces, noodles and even Thai and Indian food. It is not easy to find healthy boy soya bean paste and Fuchi chili sauce but they always have it in stock. They also have a wide selection of canned fruits and vegetables from China. Last year when my bicycle broke down I was very nervous that I could not get Chinese food until my friend Shen told me about this
site. I highly recommend this site.

Another good site that is like Chopstix.uk is supposed to be is Orientalonline.co.uk. They have a wide selection of products alth
ough their pictures are not very vibrant (looks like western womans hair). They are very good people to deal with and are very open to outside suggestions. I had a posiitive experience with them when I wanted an alternative brand of green curry sauce.

A site that I visit every month just for their excellent recipe's is Yeungschinesefoods.com. They are just an advertisement for Yeung's brand of food but they post an excellent recipe every month. Us Chinese really do not consider Yeung's to be Chinese enough rather a reflection in a British mirror of what they want to consider Chinese.

Some Chinese sites not devoted to food but excellent sources for finding food are Chinatown-online.org.uk. Although I resent the absurd name and its connotation that all Chinese huddle together in an insulated enclave (I have been nicked 3 times for supporting Man U and got deported from Belgium for punching a cop in support of the Beck and Owens) so don't think we don't assimilate. But this site has good links to books, holidays, horoscopes and the such. It is worth checking out. You can also get there by going to Quinglung.uk.co. Be careful with the merchants off British shopping.com for their shipping and packaging charges.

I hope you have found this helpful and Chopstix.uk will be back any day now.

I want to tell you foreign devils about how to buy good chinese food for home since I know longer work at the Chinese Buffet in Brighton and I think having so many foreign devils in our restaurants ruins them so I want you to stay away from them. Thank You.

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