One day I sauntered into the bathroom and caught a glimpse of a hideous old crone scrutinising me from the depths of the shaving mirror. I grimaced. The crone grimaced … and in doing so, displayed two rows of irregularly shaped, beige, tombstone~like teeth. “Who the hell is that?” I wondered breathlessly, assuming that I was the unhappy recipient of a visit from An Immortal from The Other Side. For the past three decades my brain had been reassuring me that I was 21 years old. Unbeknown to either of us however, Old Father Time had quietly crept up from behind, and belted me with his ugly stick. Middle~age is excellent if you’re ...  Read the complete review

Toothpaste? Uh? You're going to review toothpaste? Got to be a twist here somewhere. Has it got beer in then? Or Vimto even? Neither. It's a plain and simple review of a new toothpaste, so cut the snide and listen. Or read. Shock news: The-Operator, 41, has all his own teeth. Except for the four that were removed for "cosmetic purposes" when I was 13 that is. Yes, I wore a brace for three years or so on the premise that my peggy-weggies would look magnificent once the springs had forced them back into their correct positions. I can still remember the consultant pointing to the name on my sportsbag in his surgery as he was fitting the ...  Read the complete review