Freddie lives on at Butlins (that's Mercury not Kruger) (Butlins in general)

Name: Yermansays

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Product:	Butlins in general
Date:	07.09.01 (682 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Great for kids, Splash Waterworld, Cabaret acts

Disadvantages: Prize stalls can be expensive, Too many smokers.

I’ve just returned from a mini holiday at Butlins in Bogner Regis and decided to put pen to paper and finger to keyboard whilst everything was fresh in my mind. Butlins is not a new holiday destination for me and mine. We have been taking our kids there on and off over the last ten years and have been to most of the resorts around Britain. I have three girls aged between twelve and five and Butlins was chosen with them in mind.

Butlins now has the Skyline Pavilion, which is rather like the biggest, and tallest circus tent you can imagine but it is a permanent structure. Inside this pavilion are various attractions such as a circular stage area where shows are held throughout the day, various theme bars, a bowling alley, shops, fast food areas, Toyland (great for the little ones), amusement arcades, puppet shows and a section for trapeze artists. It is very impressive and because everything is enclosed within, it is unaffected by the changes in weather. My only criticism being the amount of arcade machines scattered all around the area with signs reading “Don’t pass by, give us a try.”

My five year old was very impressed by the different shows on offer. She particularly enjoyed Circus Masquerade (jugglers, trapeze artists, clowns etc). The opening sequence was amusing for one reason only, five or so artistes wearing brightly coloured cloaks and facemasks entered the stage area, which was surrounded, by lots of little kids with their mums and dads. The kids were all sitting at the front and the parents were seated behind them. The music which accompanied the fives entrance was a form of chant. Every so often the cloaked and masked figures would walk to the edge of the circle and stare down at the little kids. This terrified some of the little mites and I saw two kids (boy and girl) run screaming from these masked figures and out into the main area. My own little one wasn’t bothered in the slightest but anyone who has
seen “The Masque of Red Death” with Vincent Price will have some idea as to what scared the kids.

Outside the Pavilion, Butlins has plenty to offer including the Odeon Cinema, which was showing Planet of The Apes. My wife and the twelve year old went to see this and weren’t very impressed. I’ve yet to see it but when I do, expect a review in the movie section. Also on offer was Shrek, which deserves all the plaudits it has received, Help I’m a Fish (kids enjoyed this) and Rush Hour 2 (enjoyed by all).
Of course my five year old wasn’t allowed to see all of these and yours truly and Butlins kept her amused whilst the older ones watched the big kid’s movies.
Entry was £3.50 for adults and £2.50 for kids. The cinema was small but served its purpose. Shows went on throughout the day and evening and on certain days there was a free show for the kids (Rugrats in Paris was on offer last weekend).

Other activities on offer included Splash Waterworld, which was great fun for adults and children alike. Plenty of flumes for the inexperienced and experienced and the Master Blaster, which was a raft ride which takes you on a ride high above the pool area and is pretty good. My only gripe was I had to queue for over 45 minutes and having come out of the pool wet, I was bone try by the time I sat in the raft with my ten year old. The pool itself is designed with fun in mind i.e. wave machine, rapids, slides and kiddie slides. The serious swimmer or anyone just wanting to swim a few lengths would be completely out of luck here.

Our first evening was spent at the Centre Stage, a huge arena with plenty of seating and bars. The main act on was a Freddie Mercury impersonator called Kevin King (I’m sure that’s his name). He came on and strutted his stuff and about half way through his act, I said to my wife “ There’s something not quite right here but I can’t put my finger on it&#
8221;
She said, “ Well, he doesn’t sound like Freddie Mercury, look like him or act like him but apart from that he’s okay.”
During his rendition of “I want to break free,” one chap sitting near us was singing, “I want to break wind.”
In fairness he wasn’t all-bad and he certainly had a voice but he didn’t borrow it from Freddie. He also had a very annoying habit of shouting “Come on Butlins, put your hands in the air.”

The following night Shane Ritchie was on and he had the crowd eating from the palm of his hand. He told plenty of jokes and performed a number of songs from Grease. As there were plenty of children in the audience, Shane was a little bit constrained with his material. An example of this was when he addressed the kids with “Simple Simon says put your hands on your heads.” And he finished by saying “Simple Simon says put your fingers in your ears.” He immediately started a joke about a Vicar and three Prostitutes but obviously didn’t finish it.
My only criticism of this venue was the cigarette smoke which was everywhere. I gave up around six weeks ago (six weeks and four days to be exact) and I really don’t mind the smell but there seemed to be a smoker on every table and it was just too much especially for the kids.

Other attractions included a Funfair (very good and all free), an indoor and outdoor kids play area (also very good), outdoor sports, Nursery services (we didn’t need this but in the past, it was always very good). Plenty of Bars but I kept my drinking to a minimum. I tried one pint of Guinness, which is generally what I drink and didn’t have anymore. Instead I switched to Carling and had about three points each evening. Carling was £2.50 a pint and the kids mainly stuck to Slush Puppies at £1.20 a go.

We spent four days (three nights), Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday and wen
t on half board. The food was decent fare and there was a very good selection. Everything was self-service and some people took this to mean you could leave the eating area with handfuls of tea bags, napkins and toast wrapped up in napkins. It was funny to watch. The four days cost us £278.00 (three kids and two adults) and the accommodation was basic but clean and more than adequate, three bedrooms, a living room area with kitchen and toilet and shower. I could go on writing but this op has to end sometime and that time is now.

Summary: