Newest Review: ... then you'll think its great. Walton Street its self is lined with tons of stalls selling coconuts, candyfloss, hot food, brandy snap... more
Probably not as good as Disneyland, but better than Nottingham Fair.
Date: 09/10/01, updated on 28/10/02 (2028 review reads)
Advantages: It's fun, On the Hook-A-Duck game, you can win bows and arrows.
Disadvantages: Food (The Candy Floss really isn't up to scratch...), Toilets, One set of bumper cars says 'No Bumping'
Hull Fair rocks. Probably not if you’re not from Hull, or not from near Hull, or if you don’t live in, or anywhere near Hull, or neither if you’re from Nottingham* because you just wouldn’t understand what Hull Fair’s like to the Hull people, probably. It’s the highlight of the year – October comes, and a travelling fair appears on Walton Street. But only for about eight days, and these eight days are going to be the last eight days of Hull Fair. I mean, not really, because it’s only moving across the City to East Park, from West Park. Walton Street is sort of in West Park, one of the parks in Hull. The Railway track (Bridlington to Hull Paragon) runs alongside West Park as you’re coming into Hull, and without seeing the fair in October time, getting there won’t be the same. You won’t get that tingling of excitement, if you go into Hull on the train when you normally go to Hull Fair, because you won’t see the shining lights and blinking sounds of the umm, fair. It won’t be the same. Really.
If you live in/around Hull (Kingston – Upon, for those who don’t know), then you’ll know Hull Fair. You’ll know how to get there like you know the back of your hand (probably). You’ll know that as you walk down Anlaby Road and cross the big Railway Crossing, you’ll see the big wheel and lots of people going to and fro. It’s likely if you go around eight o’ clock, that you’ll see lots of parents with children carrying huge balloons with rattly sounds and big bags of candy floss begging to go back, and you’ll know that there’s extra busses all week, and if you go earlier in the day, even though the prices are quite a lot cheaper, that it won’t nearly be half as much fun as later in the night. You’ll also know, that if you haven’t been for years to Hull Fair, that it won’t be any different; the toilets will
still be disgusting and probably lack loo paper, so you’ll know not to go, and that the carousel will still be rather boring and dull but you’ll think of it as rather fine and dandy when you’ve got home . You’ll still know which set of bumper cars looks the safest, as well. See? You’ll just know this stuff, it’s obvious to anyone who’s ever been to Hull Fair. You live and you learn. I haven’t been for ages, and ages (before the other night, that is), and although for some reason it doesn’t look as safe as it did ages and ages ago (which might have something to do with the dinky donut stall blowing up on Saturday, but that was just the dinky donut stall and not a ride), it’s still Hull Fair, and you’ll still love it, because you’ll just get carried away with everyone else loving it, even though it sucks really. Y’see?
Hull Fair starts on the Chicken Night, which is usually a Friday. You only go on the Chicken Night if you’re brave, because it’s the first night, and the prices are half-price because none of the rides have been tested. I wouldn’t go on the Chicken Night. Nooo. I wouldn’t really recommend going on the chicken night, either, obviously because the rides haven’t been tested. Hull Fair isn’t like what you might be thinking – you might be thinking it’s some super glamorous amusement park that comes and plonks itself at the end of Walton Street once a year, with fancy parades and super doooopa rides. Pahh. It’s grotty, sorta. I suppose that’s the only way to describe it, grotty, but it doesn’t matter, because it’s Hull Fair and it’s been going on for years and years and years. You know, O’ ay by gum, but not, because you don’t hear the people in Hull saying O’ ay by gum. That’s Yorkshire speak, and even though the people in Hull are Yorkshire folk, they’re not; they
8217;re Hull folk. You don’t hear the Hull City FC fans resorting to chanting ‘Yorkshire, Yorkshire, Yorkshire’ at football matches, do you? That’s what the York City Fans do. Oops. I’m sort of going off the point. I was meant to write something about it was a little fair hundreds of years ago, with big organs playing (though it still has one, even though it can’t be heard a lot of the time for the other loud music blasting out) and trading of home-made gifts. At the same time I was supposed to say something about why Hull Fair will be moving to East Park, and that’s because Hull City FC are proposing a move from the Boulevard to a new stadium on West Park, or something along those lines. So anyway, I doubt many people mind that it’s moving, because Hull City’s moving too, if you understand. No? Oh well.
There are lots of rides at Hull Fair. There’s the great ones, the ‘big thing’ that everyone looks forward to (but then it just turns out to be not particularly great the next year, and you’ll have realised by then it was just a waste of money). It was the reverse bungee jump, this year (although it’s been the reverse bungee jump for a while, so nothing much has changed). It costs £10 to go flying into the air in a strange cage. It might be worth £10, but then it might not be. You might not even want to go on it, if you don’t really trust rides like that, and that’s fair enough. I wouldn’t probably trust the rides if I had never been to Hull Fair before: I would just stick with the hook-a-duck game, and perhaps if I was feeling daring then I might try at the game where you have to throw balls into a net. Heehee, you win prizes on those games (I didn’t spot any goldfishes, but I believe there is one where you can win a goldfish in a plastic bag filled with water. However, taking a goldfish in a plastic bag filled with water around Hull Fair could prove
a trifle difficult. You’ll soon realise though that you’ve got to trust the rides on Hull Fair, it’s boring if you don’t. Standing watching people on the water ride (Yup, they have a water log ride thingy this year) might get a bit boring. So you’ve just got to have fun. It’s easy. Go on the ride where you stand in the middle and get shaken around so that you fall about madly. It’s called the shaker, but you have to make sure that your money’s safely in a zipped up pocket, otherwise it goes everywhere. There are a lot of ghost trains, the sort which aren’t very scary, and there’s a Hall Of Mirrors without a large amount of Mirrors.
There are rather a lot of rides which have the same name. ‘Miami’, is one (two, three, four?) of them. They’re the ones where you all sit in a long row and go up and down and round and round and backwards and up and down again, or something like that, making you feel a bit sick. They’re also the ones that play the most music, and overall there are loads and loads of Hull Fair rides making the whole place very loud and ear bursting indeed. There are also quite a few ‘Superbob’s which are basically what the name says – a ride where you sit in carriages and go round in a circle bobbing up and down. There are the little rides, for kids, with little cars and motorbikes that drive round and round in a circle, and there are the usual selection of fun houses etc. There are Waltzers, some that go a lot faster than others. There was once a ‘Wall of Death’ stunt thing, which was probably the greatest fairground amusement you could ever see – Motorbike stuntmen riding round and round a wall. It’s not there this year though, which is kind of annoying, because it was super cool, really.
That’s not it. There’s lots more. Lots and lots and lots and lots – too many rides to mention, and I suppos
e if I mentioned any more then I might just bore you to death. Basically it’s the usual selection of rides, but the thing is; it’s Hull Fair, and everyone who goes has lots of fun (despite probably feeling sick from too many rides, and too much candy floss and perhaps toffee apples). It’s the general atmosphere – it’s the idea that the people who go have been going for years and enjoying it the same amount as they did five years before, which make it fun, if you see. There are stalls everywhere, selling everything, from mobile phone covers to printing Hoodies in the fairground, and also along Walton street – as you get closer and closer to the fairground, it gets more exciting and then even more exciting. There’s a huge, huge chip stall, as well, in case you might get a little peckish, although maybe not – as it’s likely you might have already eaten a burger, or hot dog, or something of the sort from the various not-particularly-appetising stalls. It’s grotty, but it’s fun. It sucks, but it rocks. It’s Hull Fair, simply.
*I heard Nottingham Fair goes on at the same time, and Hull Fair and Nottingham Fair are sort of rivals (who gets the best rides, etc), but I had never heard that before a few days ago, but Oh well. Rivalry that doesn’t really exist, perhaps?
· http://hull-fair.co.uk (A not very up-to-date website).
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