Switzerland is the only country in Europe to still have a bicycle regiment in their army. With all those mountains around you would think that was not a good idea. Charge!!! Hang on sarge I need a rest. Dads Army and Corporal Jones comes to mind when you think of Swiss military forces. Switzerland also has one place for every citizen in their nuclear bunkers, those mountains seriously bomb proof.
It's most famous exports seem to be cheese, clocks and the iconic Swiss Army pen knife, the army armed only with these three items by the looks of their war record. It is a rather passive and cowardly place and dodged more wars than their citizens have tax!
When we were kids all the boys had penknives. It wasn't because we were going to Peckham branch of the cubs and scouts but just cool to be 'tooled up'. But it was a harmless thing back then and the more extra bits you had on your penknife the better you felt and the more clout you had with your mates as you dressed as pirates or played war. You would cut sticks to a point for bows and arrows or scrape out the dirt from your Clarke Commando shoes with unique prints or pick out that compass hidden in the sole.
I got my first Swiss Army knife when I was 13. I remember because my brother bought me it and he was only 8. In those days you could even buy fags and fireworks when you were four in the newsagents so your little brother could procure pretty much anything. Just God fearing, anti drug and alcohol Asian Muslim newsagents will sell drunks, booze, the newsagents in those days would sell you a rocket launcher if you asked nicely, as long as you promised not to blow up your school with it.
The first problem with these multi knives is you need to buy another multi knife to actually dig out the blades and tools to actually use them. And when you finally get them all out you don't actually use many of them. My Swiss Army knife had a pair of scissors! I felt like Edward Scissorhands! It's like having your whole cutlery draw in your pocket and if you do need it in a hurry to ward off an attacker you may find yourself trying to stare down a 500lb Grizzly with a nail file!
There are cork screws that don't work and the obtuse tape measures and that pointy thing that has no use what so ever. There is also the mysterious one that you can only presume opens your nuclear shelter. The saw was completely toothless and blunt, although ideal for sculpture ice miniatures in the winter to impress the girls. If you need to build a raft with it on a desert island and you have all the time in the world then I suppose it's bespoke. Others have various can and bottle openers in case you need to crack open some fine wine if caught in an avalanche in the Alps, whilst others even have the magnifying lens, the more pull outs you have loaded up the chunkier your Victorinox. The unhealthiest thing I have seen on one was a toothpick. Professional golfers can only have 13 clubs in the bag and so, one presumes, experienced campers pick their tools for the trip in-hand from their array of blood red Victorinox. If you are 'Glamping' (glamorous camping) to a festival or one of those wigwam campsites then the cork screw and bottle openers will be required but if it's Everest Base Camp then the retractable crampon one is plucked out of the bag. As yet they only come in red and blue but pink isn't far away by all-accounts.
As these are a prestige brand but not that prestige prices, Victorinox more of collectable for nerds build these days, starting from £15 on Amazon for the basic going up to £70.00 with all the others gadgets. Nowadays these things are not built for the Swiss army and more flimsy and bendy, the basic one what I have had for years looking a bit beat up. I normally use the main blade to trim pencils or undo screws and a screwdriver a worthy addition if any Victorinox people are reading this although I suspect they preoccupied using one blade to pick the blade out of the other one on the production line test section instead.
large blade - small blade can opener with - screwdriver 3mm (also for Phillips screws) cap lifter with screwdriver - wire stripper tweezers toothpick