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Toilet Training/Potties in General
by Mama-Q My son turned 2 in February but is no stranger to the potty. When I was pregnant a friend of mine gave me a book written by a woman who had managed to have her own sons using a toilet by the age of 2 and her daughter being completely nappy-free and using a potty by 7 months (on her own.) Completely intrigued by this I ... purchased a potty for my own 7 month old. I made sure to buy a sturdy potty that was low to the ground as well as being comfy as possible. My son absolutely LOVED the potty! He would clap and smile while on board and seemed quite pleased with himself every time he 'went' in the potty. Fast forward to a few weeks later when I got sick and my husband took over. The cloth nappies and potty were out the window replaced by disposable nappies because they are 'easier', apparently ;). When I slowly got better I re-introduced the potty but the love of going onto the potty was lost on my son. So I kept it in the bathroom and would ask him every time we were in there if he wanted to use it, including the odd times when he'd point to it and go onto the potty - sometimes peeing, sometimes not. I decided not to make a deal out of it and just play it by ear from this point on-wards. He's been a part-time (ish) potty user from about 18 months, ranging from showing a big desire to want to use his potty to running away from it when he see's it out but just recently I decided to up the tempo with using the potty and getting him onto the toilet full time. My mum bought us a toilet seat (a little turtle seat that fixes itself to the toilet) for our son when he was about 18 months. At first he was TERRIFIED of this thing! I think it was the height of the toilet that did it, to be honest and so I took the seat off the toilet and forgot about it until a few weeks ago. Now my son squeals with excitement; "POT POT!" when he wants to use the toilet seat. Last week he was sitting on it for about 10 minutes and did a pee. When he was done he jumped down, waved to the pee and screamed 'BYE BYE PEE PEE!'. Having a ritual for kids is great, too. For my son he'll go on the toilet, do the deed, wave bye bye to it, wash his hands and then dry them. He's also watched us go to the toilet a number of times so watches us in action so to speak ;). Another step in the toilet learning experience was buying under pants - did he wet these? Yes. One time he did this twice in a row, in fact, which drove me mad. However, on the outside, I kept a calm face on and said; "Let's take these off, shall we? They're a bit wet." I put on another pair and he promptly peed through those about 20 minutes later. "Did you forget you're to use the potty if you need a pee pee?" I asked him. He just laughed at me. Ha! Another time he wasn't wearing any pants at all and screamed 'PEE PEE!' so I quickly lifted him off my lap and onto the potty. Well, he didn't pee. 10 minutes later he did, however, pointing to some drops on his leg and laughing, saying; 'pee pee!' We're not fully there yet but I hope we'll tackle it before the summer is over. I'm not sure how he'll handle going in public, but he'll have to learn as my parents live over 6 hours away and I can't see him holding it in for that length ;). Edited to add: my son has now been out in public nappy-free many times in the past week. Only once out of 6 times did he have a pee accident. I took a carrier bag, clean pair of pants and trousers, in my handbag and when he'd had an accident I discretely took him to the nearest disabled toilet where I changed him into a clean set of everything. Unfortunately I forgot to pack the socks - there's always something, right? ;) - and so he had to do without these. To say that potty/toilet training is stressful is an under statement but here are some tips to survive the whole thing: * Be on the same page. If you have a partner make sure you're on the same page. And if you're not then discuss your plan of action and compromise on anything you can't 100% see eye to eye on. Seriously. I wish someone had given me this advice because I'm the kind of parent who likes to do things cold turkey and my husband likes a more gradual approach. I'm home for the majority of the time so I can set most of the standards but when my husband is here I need him to have the same pattern and routine as I do during the week. If he comes along during a weekend and puts my son back into nappies or gives up on potty training then clearly we're not going to get anywhere. * Clean, shop and de-stress at the end of the day. Clean: make sure you have plenty of trousers, pants and bedding. Your kid is going to pee a lot, perhaps not at first and perhaps never, but it's always good to be prepared. The cleaning thing also goes for your house. Potty training may take a few days, it make take a week or a few months, but you do not want to be dealing with domestic chores on those first few days of potty training. Shop: buy treats (I used stickers on a chart) for your kid when they 'go.' Buy treats for yourself. Quite frankly this is going to be tough on everyone and the adults deserve a treat, too. De-stress: you may have wonderful, no pee accident days and you may have days where you just want to put your little darling straight back into a nappy. Short of running to the bottom of the garden for a good scream find a way you can de-stress at the end of the potty training day. You will need it. Good luck to anyone attempting this. Don't give up, trust your instincts and let the whole thing be child-led. Be kind to your child and to yourself. No one gets everything right on the first try so don't expect that your child will suddenly have a light bulb moment and never have an accident again - and perhaps they will, who knows - but it's going to take some serious investment of your time. Read the complete review |
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Teenage Pregancy
by emmacuf Teenage pregnancy, there are many different views on this topic. I would like to share my opinion and story on this with you. In the January of 2005 I met this lovely lad called Darrel, within a month we were an item. I couldn't off asked for a nicer guy, I had seen a few guys before but this was nothing really when I think about ... how me and Darrel were with each other. As time went on we went to festivals together and went on trips to London to seen bands. We couldn't off asked for a better relationship, not only was he my boyfriend, he became my best friend. You know when the beginning of a relationship it really good, and then all of a sudden it starts to die down. Well within a year later this started to happen, we would argue more than anything. It got thought, but with no responsibility's this just became really silly so we treated ourselves to a holiday together away. May 2007 we took a trip to centre parks. And this made us realise that we had such a good relationship and that it is worth saving. Things were good for a couple of months after we went away and I told him we needed to talk. So there was him thinking I was going to split up with him. I broke down and told him I was pregnant. I then told him I had already gone to a doctor who worked out I was around 12 weeks pregnant. And I was keeping the baby. He was fine with this but was more in shock! AT this time we didn't live together and couldn't afford to put down a deposit on a property. And they council houses were not an option in my opinion; round our area they aren't too nice and very rough. Not somewhere I would want to bring up a child. So after telling family the same day no one was talking to me, 17 and pregnant! Well obviously this is the worst thing that could happen according to them. But I was in my own bubble, about to become a mummy, how amazing. My father soon came round to the idea and asked if Darrel would like to move into our home so he can be a proper father to the baby. I thought this was a great idea but only on the condition it would be until we have saved up a deposit for a flat. Feb 2008 my beautiful baby girl was born into the world at 2.31 in the afternoon. It was the most amazing experience in the world and Darrel was there for me thought the labour and birth! Amazing, daddy gave her first bottle to her. He even cried as he was so happy and proud of her. Isobel is now 4 years old. 8 months later we finally had saved enough to purchase a property of our own and we moved into a two bed flat. I was so happy with my little family I wouldn't of had it any other way. Then our relationship got rough again and we were ready to split up, but keep it friendly for Isobel's sake. We thought a family holiday would make take the stress of things, both working and barely getting any time together we thought it would do us some good. Yeah as you guess a few weeks later I needed to talk to him again, our second baby was coming into the world, and on 5th march 2010, Freddie Jax was born at 10.52pm. So at the age of 20 I had 2 children, slightly over being a teenage mum. Then a surprise of Lillie rose came on the 7th September 2011 via C-section. So I started at the age of 18, classed as a teenage mum. Obviously a bad mum due to my age! But I have proved so many people wrong, yes I have had my kids young but I wouldn't have it any other way. And no they weren't planned, but it has brought everyone closer together. My children are growing up fast and healthy! Isobel now attends playgroup and love it! Every night they have story's and get cuddles before bed. Just because I'm a young mum doesn't mean I'm a bad mum! I have the same facilities and work to earn money just like the older mums, it doesn't mean I'm less capable of looking after them. I find this quite a touchy subject due to people who I went to school with really kicked up a stink. Saying I was wasting my life, well no not really, I enjoyed my free time before and no I don't go out drinking and wasting my money like a lot of 22 year olds do, but I have something so much more, a loving family who appreciate me, a beautiful home and a job that pays the bills. I suppose I do miss little things like going out to see friends and being able to buy myself new clothes. But that's the things you need to push to one side once your babies are in the world, they are the most important thing. And I must say my kids dress better than me! And they are happy and a lot more polite and well behaved than some of the other mums kids are the playgroup. So being a young mum doesn't really mean anything, as long as you've got your priorities in the right place. Read the complete review |
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Coping with Colic Babies
by Mama-Q I now have a toddler but I very clearly remember those jagged edge newborn days where day and night didn't meet like they do now - they just merged. I had a relatively short enough labour (19 and a half hours) and apart from a few health complications, everything worked out okay. At the hospital I tore so bad that it took ... them three hours to stitch me up. Without numbing me :/. I remember passing out several times, coming to and then feeling the pain and pull of a stitch and would pass out again. And after this one of the horrible midwives poking around my bum and saying "Oh you have a massive pile here! DOES THAT HURT?" So I told her in no uncertain terms should she or one of her colleagues prod me like that again that I would do a roundhouse kick to the face :). She sheepishly moved out of the room and I didn't see hide nor hair of her again. In hospital most of the mothers on the ward all chose to bottle feed their babies. I remember feeling embarrassed about my choice to breastfeed and I would partition myself off by closing the curtain around my bed when it was feeding time - over time and with hindsight I should have been happy I was able and willing to breastfeed, rather than feel ashamed of myself. I definitely feel that I was a touch depressed after my baby came along, I felt so detached from him at times and found myself feeding him because no one else was going to do it but me. My midwife came round the next morning and gave me to usual spiel they give to mothers who breastfeed; 'don't give the baby a dummy, they'll get nipple confusion. Don't give them a bottle. Make sure you have a good latch...' and so on. Well, I broke all the rules. When we got home my mum took the baby over night, bringing him into me for feeding. This meant that through the night he'd be up howling and screaming - and the only thing that soothed him was a dummy. Again, with hindsight, this makes me feel like an awful human being. But I will say in my defence that I was very close to an edge with my depression at this point and sleep was paramount to keeping the scraps of whatever sanity I had left so although my son suffered through that night it meant that I could keep my depression under some kind of control and not completely spiral. On top of the dummy I decided to try expressing some milk. By this point my son was feeding anywhere between every 20-40 mins and taking an hour or so to feed. We had a bad latch - something my nursing aunt picked up on and helped me through - and this was causing him to not get enough milk and therefore feel satisfied, but not for very long. The feedings were overwhelming me and I felt like all I was good for was for a feed. My son has always been close to his dad, my husband, and this has been the case from birth. I remember trying to rock my son to sleep and he'd just cry and cry. When my husband took our son it seemed to calm him completely. This was probably a lot to do with my own tensions but I couldn't help but feel I wasn't useful unless it was for milk. Two weeks after my son was born it was mine and my husbands first wedding anniversary and everyone was telling me I needed to go out. Of course I really didn't want too but I felt like I should, just to prove I wasn't depressed. Both my aunt and my mum - who has 4 children herself - were there, as well as my younger brother who is a dab hand with children but I still felt uneasy about going out. Like I said, I wanted to prove I wasn't depressed so I agreed to go out. So I expressed a little of my breast-milk, put it into a bottle and stored it in the fridge - at this point our feedings had settled a little to every two hours so I would feed my son right before we left, he could have milk while I was out and he'd be okay until we got back. We were very lucky that our local cinema was a 5 minute walk from our old flat and this is the main reason why I agreed to go out - if they needed me I would just dart out of the cinema and run home. We went to see our film, rushed home when it was done and my son was very unsettled when I got home. He had finished the bottle - about an hour after we'd left he'd started to cry. I learned then that a baby being unsettled isn't necessarily a hunger thing but that they take comfort in their mothers breast. I was annoyed no one had called me and that night was horrendous. He was up the whole night screaming his head off. By 5am I worked out it might be colic and jumped onto Google. The only thing I could see to give him would be Infacol. I messaged a good friend of mine who had 2 children and asked about Infacol. She said it was the best invention since sliced bread (or words to that effect.) At this time I was a bit of a hippy about medicines and a bit skeptical of medicines in general so I put off buying Infacol for a few days. By the third night I couldn't take it any longer and so my husband bought Infacol. Well...my son woke for the odd feed but he was settled, quiet and seemed happier - and slept until 10am where he would usually wake up at 6-7am. The Infacol seemed to work a treat, which kept everyone happy. I would definitely recommend using Infacol for a colicky baby - it worked wonders on my son - and I would say try to avoid giving a bottle to a breastfed baby as it does seem to induce their colic as they tend to suck in a lot of air from the bottle. However, in reality, this isn't always possible and so Infacol can work miracles :). If you're suffering through this, I feel for you. Having been there myself I know it's not easy - but it also doesn't last forever. It will pass and get easier. Go easy on yourself, allow yourself some mistakes and don't blame yourself - a lot of babies suffer from colic, it is common and although it's not nice for both parties, it will pass. Read the complete review |
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