Sharing a bed means more sleep for everyone (Bed Sharing)

Member Name: velvetbrown

Product:	Bed Sharing
Date:	22/01/09 (53 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: It's a wonderful thing to share with your baby and you get more sleep

Disadvantages: Don't do it if you smoke / drink / take drugs etc

This is one thing I never thought I'd do but ...

My little boy was born by emergency caesarean and so, for the first night in hospital I still had a catheter in etc and couldn't get out of bed. I was on a ward with other mums and whenever my baby cried I had to buzz for a midwife to come and lift him out of his cot for me. I fed him and cuddled him and when he was asleep I had to buzz again for someone to put him back. Then, a few minutes later he was crying again and I had to buzz for someone to get him out for me etc, etc. After a few goes one of the midwives suggested that I sleep with him in my bed - she said they would watch us to make sure he was OK and they would move him once he was settled (and she didn't say but I'm sure she was thinking that then everyone might get some sleep). I was really surprised and uncertain about this but I thought it must be safe or they wouldn't have suggested it.

So, this is how we started off and this was the only way I could get him to settle - he just wanted to be cuddled all the time and at least this way I got some sleep too. When we went home my husband was nervous about us all being in the bed together but I couldn't see the benefit in sitting up for hours with him when I could be asleep with him. And breastfeeding him in bed was easy - I barely had to wake up.

Gradually he spent more time in his cot. By 3 months he had a bedtime routine and he would stay in his cot until his first feed. Then he would go back in his cot but he would move into our bed after a second feed. He has never been a good sleeper and having him in bed just seemed easier for everyone.

All this time, I had niggling doubts in the back of my mind that I was doing the wrong thing, or that I would never be able to break the cycle and I felt like I couldn't tell anyone about it. On the otherhand, I had read some really lovely things on the internet that I could really relate to.

There were a couple of occasions when I tried to put him in his cot - but I would end up getting cross with him and I felt that was ruining my relationship and not helping either of us. In the end I settled on a 'rule' that I would give him 2 chances. If he settled then great, but if he couldn't then that was fine too.

We were having building work done at this time so our baby didn't have his own room until 8 months. When his room was ready we moved him in there and he stayed in there all night. There was no fuss at all - he just seemed ready. In fact, I think he was ready a bit earlier (he was much less settled in our bed from about 6 months) but when he woke up in our room and saw us he couldn't settle on his own. When he woke up in his own room he just settled himself back down and quickly started sleeping through the night.

He is 20 months now and he still has the occasional night in our bed - when he is poorly or unsettled. But he doesn't expect it every night.

I would do this again with another baby. I know parents who have been up all night with babies that won't settle in their cots and I just can't see the sense in losing all that sleep!

Summary: It worked for me and my baby let me know when he was ready to move on