Emotional rollercoaster (Being a Parent)

Member Name: Claribella

Product:	Being a Parent
Date:	26/11/08 (96 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: The most amazing thing youll ever experience

Disadvantages: The judgements from others

When I first thought about writing this review I thought that I could write a list helpful tips for a parent to be. I thought maybe I could write a little bit about the sleepless nights and discipline and how it is the most rewarding thing in the world but I decided I would look at this from a different angle and here it is.

When I was pregnant with my first little boy I was pretty confident in thinking that I could cope with parenthood after all I was a Nursery Nurse. I knew how to change a nappy, wash a baby, feed a baby and I had picked up a few tricks of the trade that I was sure would help me along the way.

When he was born they placed him in my arms and after a few days I took him back to our family home. When he cried I got this unfamiliar knot in my tummy, when he wasn't latched on to breast properly this knot appeared again, when he slept for hours and hours and hours up popped that knot...........oh there it is again! What the hell was this? I had no idea how everything I did had this emotional attachment. I hadn't anticipated that the child that had sprung from my womb would make me question whether everything I did was right or wrong. This never happened when I was working in those nurseries!

As my child grew my heart would jump out of my chest when he fell and when he is poorly I would give my limp to make him better again. I never realised how different parenthood and being a Nursery Nurse was. Looking back now I know that parenthood isn't a job. The child that you hold in your arms from day one is your flesh and blood, you made it, it grew from within you and came from you. That is a mind blowing thing to me.

When I didn't have children I used to get a little annoyed with people who would get all soppy over their child doing a particular thing. I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about.......'Yeah, yeah they've used a spoon for the first time ever, congratulations let's phone the local newspaper and let them know'. Now I am one of those people. I take great delight in every single thing my boys do. When they say a new word, when they cut a new tooth and even when they do a poo in the potty! It sounds ridiculous but that brings me more joy than anything else I could imagine (apart from having my wonderful husband alongside me to watch it too! I couldn't do it without him).

When I first watched 'The Passion of the Christ' I enjoyed it and I did cry because I found it so moving. Since being a parent I have watched it again and I couldn't help but view it through the eyes of Mary. I kept thinking about what it was like for her as a mother to have to watch her son go through everything he did. The bit that made me cry the most was when Jesus was carrying his cross and he fell. The picture then goes back to when Jesus was a little boy and he falls over and Mary runs to him. You can see her heart is in her mouth because she is unsure if her little boy is ok. That's how I feel at least once a day.

I don't think any spoken word, film or book could prepare you for the journey of being a parent. You can practice how to change bums and get all of the general care of a baby under your belt but no one can prepare you for this emotion that your will feel. It is indescribable.

I find that when you become a parent you become the most judged person on this earth especially if you go to toddler groups. People don't even have to say anything because you can tell by the look in their eye that they are watching and judging and thinking how wrong you are doing the 'parent thing'. Of course not everyone is like this but in my experience a lot are. One thing I try to do before I walk out the door is to tell myself that I'm not going to get into a 'competition conversation' with anyone. I try to think that my boys are unique and are developing at their own rate and I don't need to get into conversations on whose child slept through the night first or whose child can draw a picture of a person or whose child hasn't had an accident today. I think it releases you of worry and guilt when you know that your child is an individual and he or she doesn't need to keep up with 'Reece' at the mother and toddler group. He or she will do what he or she wants when they are ready.

So in a nutshell you won't believe the emotional attachment until they are with you and don't compare your child to other children, delight in their individuality.

Summary: The best thing ever.