Parenting from birth and beyond. (Being a Parent)

Member Name: Autarkis

Product:	Being a Parent
Date:	16/12/08 (461 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: The magical moments of parenthood.

Disadvantages: Warning - Children may cause greying or loss of hair.

If you have become a parent - Congratulations on the birth of your baby.

Being a parent is a hard job, but a very rewarding one. Watching our children grow up into young adults is a fun and stressful all at the same time. We worry about our babies even when they are old enough to look after themselves, it's comes with being a parent.

Once your baby is born you will be exhausted and all different emotions will be running high. This is quite normal, as you get used to being a parent. It is a good idea to rest up as much as possible for the big day and put your feet up while you can, you will be glad you did when your little bundle arrives.

Nothing can prepare you for becoming a parent, and no amount of planning will make it easier as you won't know what to expect. What is required from you? A lot of energy, time, patience, and to be able to multi task whilst exhausted.
Even though you will be tired and have little free time, you will be immensely happy and enjoy every moment that parenthood brings.

When you are handed your little bundle of joy for the first time in hospital it is a magical moment that you have waited for 9 months to happen. You want to treasure every moment with your new baby. Make the most of every day and each new milestone, because they grow so fast. They don't stay babies for long!

You are shown very few basic things whilst in hospital; they showed me how to bath my baby and that was about all! The rest is up to you. I think they expected me to know everything even though there is a 12 year gap between my children. It wasn't much different with my daughter I was shown how to bath and change her nappy, and had a little guidance with feeding but not much else; you are pretty much left to get on with it.

Being a parent is a learning curve, there is no training of any sort, you can read all the books but they will give conflicting advice and different techniques on how to approach different things. It is the same with health professionals.

I had seen two different health visitors on my son's routine check up, one of which was very nice and didn't force advice on me she was very friendly, I know some can be a bit annoying with all the advice and sometimes they seem like they are telling you off. I always choose to take the advice given on board and go with my instincts, which are probably best in most cases, as we get to know our babies we know what's best for them.

Everyone you know will be offering advice whether you want it or not, just remember to smile and nod your head!

It is well known that parenting is said to be one of the hardest jobs, I have to agree! But yet it is one of the most rewarding jobs.

For the first few weeks your newborn will be sleeping a lot and feeding a lot too, so make the most of the time that your baby sleeps and try to get some sleep yourself. Try to leave off doing chores, it's a good idea to have the kitchen stocked with easy and healthy snacks and meals as you won't feel like cooking. Also making sure the house has a good clean in the earlier stages of pregnancy while you have got some energy, so there isn't as much to do nearer the time, and once baby is here you won't have chores to worry about.

Grandparents will usually always be at hand, so make good use of them if you want and don't be shy to ask for help as people will be more than willing to give you some help. However if you would like to get some time with your baby and don't feel much like visitors then just keep it to short visits and arrange when it suits you.

After the first few weeks, you will be wanting to get back to 'normal' this will take a bit of time and practice because you have your little one's needs to put first and there never seems to be much free time.

In the first few months you want to get your baby into a routine, because babies need structure to their lives, as do we. They feel more secure when they are in a set routine, it takes a while to establish a good routine and there will be some trial and error before you are in a comfortable routine that you and your baby are happy with. As your baby grows and learns, they will know what is expected of them if they have a routine which makes it easier for both of you. Although once you have just got comfortable in your routine and all is going well, it soon changes as your baby grows and reaches new milestones their routine needs to change and adapt to fit in with what's happening at the time. Don't worry and stress yourself as this is normal and it just takes a little time to fall in to a new routine your baby will let you know when they are ready to feed and sleep with a little guidance from you. Also illness and teething can upset the routine so just go with what you baby wants and needs through these times and then you can get yourself back in to a routine once all is well again.

Having a good routine also works well for us as a parent because we can fit in what we need around our babies routine. I myself have put both of my children into a routine from a young age and adapted it as they grow; I find it much better for both them and myself. A child in a routine will know when it is time to feed, sleep or play, and this means they will cooperate more as they get older - hopefully. A good sleep pattern is also essential for a growing baby, if they don't get enough sleep then they will be irritable and hard to comfort. This will leave you feeling stressed too.

Some parents choose not to follow a routine, or they have a flexible routine, whatever suits you best after all it is your baby and if you and your baby are happy then that is all that matters.

In the first few months your newborn will demand all of your time and attention, and will want to be cuddled, some say that giving lots of cuddles and holding your baby a lot will spoil them, I disagree it won't hurt in the first few months! Make the most of it because once they become mobile they won't want to be held they will be pushing you away to explore their world.

There are so many milestones, and each new milestone is a special time for both you and your baby.

Don't worry if your little one has not reached a milestone at the same time as other babies and don't try to push them, because all babies are different and they will learn in their own good time. So don't compare your baby to others and worry what others say. Just enjoy your baby and give them guidance and plenty of praise when they learn new things.

If you have concerns that your baby is not developing in the time you thought your little would then you can always make a visit to your clinic and see your health visitor or doctor.

As your baby becomes mobile let them explore and play with them and also give them time to play alone. Babies learn a lot through play. You don't need a lot of toys, and also giving them too many toys to play with will just confuse them they wont know what to play with and they wont concentrate on one thing for long enough.

They soon become a toddler and this is where the fun begins, because they will need a few boundaries and a little discipline, they need to learn right from wrong at a young age, teaching them not to touch certain things because they could be hot and a danger to them. From here on in you will be teaching them important life skills.

It is important to feed your child healthy food from the weaning stage; they need a well balanced diet to be able to grow. What you feed your child also affects their behaviour. Once they get to school age and start going to parties they will be having 'junk 'food then. So there is plenty of time for all that. Encouraging healthy eating from a young age will set good habits for later in life. I won't go in to too much detail as I have already covered a lot of this in my weaning review.

Also letting your child become independent and building on their confidence will give them a good start in life. You won't be able to do everything for them once they reach primary school age, so they need to have learnt a lot from you. A happy confident child will do well in school, and a child that clings to you and depends on you will not want to be left at school without you. So you need to prepare them for big school and make them feel positive about it.

So you think the hardest bit is over...well no...it only get's more challenging as they get older and try to push the boundaries and test you. This is normal so don't be too soft or hard on your little angel as they are learning and it is an important time for then.

It is important to build a good relationship with your child and give them quality time and get to know them. You should build trust between you and your child from birth, and be able to talk about all sorts of things, as they get older show interest in what they want to talk about no matter what it is. They need someone to talk to and if they are having problems they will find it easier to approach you and won't feel awkward to talk to you about anything.

As your child gets older and when they reach the 'teenage' years this is when they will need you most, although they will push you out and take out their frustrations out on you and act out in order to be able to show their emotions. This is all very normal and can be quite hard on you, but don't take it to heart. The teenage years are difficult as they are transitioning from becoming a child to an adult, and they are changing. So always give them support and space when needed. Try not to shout and argue with them as this only makes things worse instead talk with your child when you are both calm, and try not to over react to problems and when they have done wrong. There is usually a reason behind bad behavior.

A lot of positive attention is required from you, and praise and encouragement. Look for the good in your child when they are having a hard time. They need you to boost their confidence, so don't be hard on them to make them feel worse.

Starting secondary school can be quite daunting, and also demands a lot from them. This change can be quite hard on them and they will be tired and will probably become moody during this time.

They will also expect to have more freedom and think that they are old enough to be able to do more than they can. This is hard as a parent because you can't protect them forever but also you can't let them do whatever they want, so rules still need to be in place, and you need to make sure that you know where they are and give them a time to be home, if they test this and come back late then you need to explain the reasons for them to be home for a certain time.

Discipline is also very important if rules are broken then you need to have punishment this also needs to be followed through otherwise there is no point in giving it out if they know they will get away with things they will continue behaving badly.
Discipline is hard at first as we like to see our children happy, but good positive discipline techniques are vital in teaching children how to be responsible for their actions, it is good to set limits and discipline bad behavior, but try not to set too many rules. Talking and listening to your child is a good approach to take explaining what they have done wrong and explain why. And if you are good with this then your child will grow into a well mannered individual.

Also parenting needs to be approached in the same way from both parents don't discuss in front of your child and don't undermine each other your child will learn to play their parents. It needs to be a joint effort. Always back each other up even if you don't always agree.

Being a parent is challenging at times, and you will learn a lot a long the way. There is no right from wrong and at the end of the day it is your child and you can raise them in the way that you see fit.

Don't let anyone tell you how to be a parent, it is your job and you know what's best for your child.

Don't forget your needs and to give yourself time for you, and also don't be too hard on yourself when you feel things are going wrong. You can only do your best by your child.

A happy parent makes for a happy child!

Enjoy being a parent, there is going to be lots of highs and lows and many different emotions, which you wouldn't change for the world. So make the most of it as it goes by so fast!

I'm a proud mum!

Having a child is a gift and a blessing and I have been lucky enough to have two beautiful children.


My daughter is already 12 years old and I have just started all over again with my baby boy who is just 14 months old. I'm sure it will become rather interesting when my son is a toddler and my daughter a teenager.

It has been both challenging and fun, it is so nice to watch my children learn, grow and change. I didn't want a big age gap between my children, but that is just the way it is. It is hard work trying to keep them both happy, as they both have different needs, and demand attention in different ways. I enjoy being with my children everyday and wouldn't have it any other way.
They are both different and they both have their own personalities, but they are both energetic and keep me on my toes.

There is no amount of planning, or no right age to become a parent. Anyone can be a good parent and give a child a good start in life. Treasure every moment because they grow so fast and learn new things everyday, there is always new surprises. Children bring so much happiness.

Summary: Being a parent is wonderful, enjoy your children!