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Do what you feel is right
Being a Parent
Member Name: rojm
Being a Parent
Advantages: it's good
Disadvantages: it's hard work
Being a parent is doing what is right for you, your child and your family.
Whatever you want to believe, or might believe, no parent is perfect, each and every one of us make mistakes infact we often get things wrong.
Being a good parent I believe is about instinct not about doing what the books says, I have never read a parenting book but I know what they say and I know what they advise (ok I have read a few articles). I know what is right and yes the books tell you how to do things but in reality it is hard to stick to what the experts say. -
Don't pick your baby up straight away when they are crying
Leave them to cry for 5 minutes at bedtime
Don't give them a dummy
Don't give in to them
Don't let them into your bed at night
Well being a good parent is about loving your children, spending time with them and listening to them.
I do believe though as a parent you have to set rules and stick to them however hard that might be. Children need to know you care enough to set the rules and stick by them. They can be simple ones when they are young; but if you don't set and stick to some when they are young by the time they are a teenager you will have no chance at getting them to do what you want no matter what.
Children have to know who is boss so to speak. For example my youngest has been being a pain at dancing for the last 3 classes tonight I asked her ' do you want to go' she did I even asked if she was going to do it with one of her sisters friends that helps out and not mess yes she was. Oh no she wasn't, she then expected me to watch because she decided she wanted to watch. I explained I wasn't going to watch some children that I didn't know and we should go home. She ummed and arred about going in so I took the decision away from her and told her we were going home . I also told her she wasn't going dancing tomorrow (I had explained if she messed me about she wouldn't go before hand). She kicked off saying she was going etc and I had to explain that maybe she wasn't old enough to go dancing if she was going to do what she had so we would look at it on Tuesday of she behaved. She isn't happy because she really wants to go tomorrow but i have to stick to what I said or she will mess me about any time she feels like it.
I explained I don't care if she goes dancing or not but don't mess me aboout.
As a parent there is going to be lots of things that you have to compromise on. Some people don't believe in this with children but I do and it can make life easier. Pick your fights does it really matter if they don't eat that last piece of carrott when they have eaten everything else I don't think it does. You need to find what is important and what isn't.
From an early age children have their own personalities so help develop them and don't automatically think your way is right because after all children are just small adults that can think things.
Being a parent is the best feeling you can ever have but if you are stuck on your ideas of what should happen then it might not be as enjoyable as you want it to be. It is not an easy job and I don't think you should do everything your child wants but even at toddler age you can compromise without bribing. I don't agree with bribing for recreational things like dancing it the child doesn't want to do it don't make them too many times I have seen mums with 2 year olds say you won't get your chocolate if you come out of dancing again or if you don't do the show you don't get chocolate. If they don't want to do it don't make them.
Do what you feel is right no matter what other people say and what the books say. As long as your child is safe and it is the best thing for your family chill and enjoy your children.
Summary: don't stress about getting it right
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