The best thing since sliced bread! (Being a Parent)

Member Name: mreyre

Product:	Being a Parent
Date:	18/11/01 (34 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Unconditional love, an amazing experience

Disadvantages: no more peace and quiet, sleepless nights, your life will never be the same again!

I have been a Daddy now for three years, I am 27 for those who don’t know me. Some may say that 24 was too young to have a child, some may say that it is a “normal” age. Over the last 3 years it has been a steep learning curve, but a very valuable one which I thought that other dooyoo readers may want to hear.

My wife (Jo) and I got married on 9th August, 1997. We had a “life plan” which involved having our first child around the age of 30. By this time, finances would be fairly afloat and we would have had time together to do our own things, perhaps go on holiday, and save for a rainy day.
However, Jo had a series of smear tests which were abnormal, with pre-cancerous cells. The doctor advised us to start trying for a family straight away as we may not be able to have children if we waited till we were in our 30’s. So, on the Dr.’s advice, we decided to plunge headlong into parenthood!

Our beautiful daughter, Lucy was born on the 25th October 1998. Prior to this, we had NHS childbirth classes (which we thought were a waste of time), as well as paying £45 for a series of NCT (National Childbirth Trust) classes. This was the best £45 we had ever spent (I actually wrote a review on the NCT ages ago for the dooyoo pages). The “lessons” were very informative and interesting, delivered (excuse the pun) in a professional manner.

The best part though was the other expectant couples. It was great to share pre-baby experiences with other couples who were going through exactly the same feelings and emotions as us. After our babies were born, we have kept in very regular contact, especially with 1 couple, who we still meet up with most weeks. It is so valuable to have made new friends, not just to share experiences with, but to share babysitting duties with in times of desperation!

The thing is though, no amount of preparation from attending Parenting classes or reading Parenting mag
azines can actually prepare you for the “real thing”. For some couples, having their first child can really be a huge bombshell. “Disadvantages” is the wrong word to use here, but I have listed some factors which we found difficult to adjust to as new parents. (3 years down the line some of these are still difficult to live with!):

Sleepless nights
+++++++++++++++++
If your Mum says to you “You were a good baby and slept through the night from 1 week old”, don’t believe her. This is a blatant lie to try to soften the blow of preparing for the patter of tiny feet. More like the screaming of a banshee, if Lucy was anything to go by. For the first four months at least, Lucy refused to sleep through the night. Initially, all babies get their night and day mixed up, but they are supposed to settle down after a while. Lucy was evidently nocturnal, as I always ended up doing the night shift – I would get home from work and stay up with her until 1 a.m., when Jo would then take over and I would go back to sleep. Jo would then stay up with her until 6 a.m. when I had to get up for work. This was an absolute killer and many a day were my eyes propped open with matchsticks.

Total Loss of Freedom
++++++++++++++++++++++
I actually find it hard to comprehend what Jo and I used to do in the evenings and weekends before Lucy was born. By the time I get home from work these days, had tea, washed up, put Lucy to bed and tidied up all the mess she has made during the day, I just want to collapse in the bed. Long gone are the nights down the pub, cinema, bowling, etc. Social life – what social life?!

Total Loss of Peace and Quiet
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
If sleepless nights don’t bother you, bear in mind that the days will be sleepless too. The only peace and quiet I get these days is in the toilet! Even then, Lucy wants to know where I have disappeared to! Forget the rom
antic candlelit dinners – we now share all our meals with Lucy and often dollies, cuddly toys and may other creatures.

Hospital Visits
+++++++++++++++
During the three years Lucy has been on this planet, I think I have been in and out of hospital with her more times than there are episodes of Casualty. When you start calling all the nurses on the Childrens’ Ward by their first name, you know that the hospital is fast becoming your second home. Unfortunately Lucy suffers from bad asthma, and I would say you get used to seeing your own flesh and blood lying in a hospital bed, but every time is another shock you have to cope with.

Shopping Trips – Nightmare!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Remember when you use to walk hand in hand romantically strolling round the shopping centres, pausing awhile on the escalator for a quick kiss? Nowadays, taking Lucy to a major shopping centre or town is a complete nightmare. Firstly, the amount of luggage you have to take – pushchair, rucksack full of essential items (change of clothes, drink, snacks, etc.) is unbelievable until you actually experience it. Secondly, trying to find lifts in department stores is a total nightmare – if you don’t currently have a child, I suggest you kidnap an elderly relative and push him / her round John Lewis and see how frustrated you get. Not just with the lack of lifts (and signposts directing you to the lifts), but also the lack of toilets when you only have about 5 seconds warning!

Also, in this section, you never have any money anyway, so shopping becomes a rare occassion!

Cars
++++
Before Lucy came along we zipped around the town in a sporty 16V Fiesta. It soon became apparent that the interior space would not even be half sufficient to accommodate all of Lucy’s paraphenalia. We therefore now have a spacious family car, with a HUGE boot! You can spot the couple who have at least 2 children as they
pull up in the Brewer’s Fayre car park in a Picasso or other such people carrier.

Living Space
+++++++++++++
As soon as children come along, your living space reduces by about 90%. Wherever you look there are wall-to-wall toys, books, half-eaten biscuits, dollies, teddies, playmobil people and rubber ducks. Also, where a lovely pristine carpet used to be, there are milk / Ribena / play doh / sick stains.

However, having said all the above, I really would not change being a Dad for the world. Although many blokes probably wouldn’t admit it, we all want a daughter (I did, anyway), and I now have my main wish in life. Until you have children, you do not realise how much you care for someone else. By far the best thing about being a Daddy is the unconditional love you receive every minute of the day. This is why parents just love being parents!

(Must go now, got to spray some more 1001 shampoo on the carpet!)

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