A glutton for punishment (Birthing Methods in general)

Member Name: josollsam

Product:	Birthing Methods in general
Date:	29/06/01 (135 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: You end up with children!

Disadvantages: Childbirth is painful unless...

I have had 5 children. Yes, count them, 1.2.3.4.5. All were born using different methods, the least painful being the C-section, my last one.

Anyway, 17 years ago I had my first baby, who, having decided that she preferred to stay inside for as long as she possibly could, was induced 15 days after she was supposed to be born. They basically inserted a long 'crochet hook' with which they burst my waters. The funniest part was that the midwife was wearing wellies!

I was given pethadin which turned me into a blethering idiot. I kept asking my then husband whether HE was alright! I felt really out of it, I still had unbearable pain and now have a very blurred memory of the whole thing. I also had an episwatchacall it, where they quickly slice you up to enlarge the?anyway, 15 stitches later?

Second daughter also decided that she was not going to come out without a personal invitation, hand given, and was also induced 15 days after she was due. This time, I was given a drip early in the morning and again had a wellied-up midwife do her art and craft work on me.

This time though, no time for drugs! Once she realised she had been invited to the party she threw herself into the dance head first. I have to say that I screamed. A lot. And loudly. I told my husband to NEVER, EVER get me pregnant again. I got off the bed and told the nurses that I was going home, that I couldn?t do this today and I would come back tomorrow. The next contraction ensured that I did not become the party pooper I wanted to be. The whole birth took 45 mins. Ouch. Another load of stitches although I didn?t ask how many.

Anyway, a LONG time passed. Marriage finished, met new partner, got over pain phobia and became pregnant. My first son was born 5 years ago and he was a joy to have. Again a few days late but not many, about 6. I had the half epidural, which means that your waist area is numbed but you are still mobile. I also, this time round, had
the pleasure of hearing and feeling my waters burst all by themselves! No knit one purl one this time! I still needed stitches this time, and they managed to botch that bit up and had to redo them.

So, onto baby number 4, another son 1 year and 2 weeks later. 4 days late. He decided to come out ear first. What I mean by that is that he held his head to one side and allowed himself to be pushed down the birth canal in this most awkward of manners. So, they pushed him back up! He had become stressed with all the stress of being born and needed a little help. A quick full epidural later and a swift move into a theatre room and then they sucked him out with a Hoover/plunger type thing! I believe the technical term is Ventouse delivery. Hmmm. He still gets himself into all sorts of scrapes and trouble. Oh, by the way, almost totally pain free! Wonderful! The contractions at the beginning were a bit breathtaking though.

Finally, we come to young son number 3 and young child number 5, oh and partner number 3 (I know, I know, but that is a totally different debate. Not for here.) Due on the 9th, arrived on the 1st. What I thought were my waters bursting (a bit too much blood maybe?). Called my sister and partner to hurry home and take me to hospital. They arrive, and we pile into the car where I bled all over my sisters lovely upholstery (she has forgiven me!). Got to the hospital and was asked to change into a nightie (well, actually it was a sack with ribbons up the back!) as I did this a fresh waterfall of blood fell to the floor. Next thing I know I am being tossed onto a bed and wheeled into a surgical theatre and before I could say ?gimme drugs? I was out cold. Next thing I know, I am awake, sort of, and the baby is fine, thank God. So am I, just completely disorientated.

This birth was totally pain free, no contractions, nothing. It was incredibly scary, although more so in hindsight. I think about it now and thank God that we got to the
hospital quickly, even if it was without knowing of the danger we were in. Apparently, the placenta had ruptured and was bleeding out which meant the baby would not have had enough oxygen to survive. A few more minutes and it could have been curtains.

So, will I have more? Watch this space?

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