No bitty bitty jokes please! (Breastfeeding in General)

Member Name: azana

Product:	Breastfeeding in General
Date:	22/01/09 (155 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Free

Disadvantages: Badly perceived badly supported

Breastfeeding - it is one of the first parenting choices you make - or have made for you in some cases, if it is not something that works for you. I chose to breastfeed as I thought I might as well give it a go.

This is not about the breastfeed or not debate but an attempt to share a real experience and give a bit of advice.

My experience of feeding my babies is very positive, but I accept that for some people they may not want to feed or may not be able to for one reason or another. One of the main reasons why I personally think people give up is the woeful lack of support in this country.

Only recently has a law been introduced meaning that it is illegal to stop a mum from feeding a baby of 6 months or under in the UK. Few women actually do breastfeed in this country; we have the lowest rates in Europe, an article in the Telegraph in August 2008 said this: "Less than eight in 10 new mothers breastfeed their babies from birth and only a fifth are still feeding their babies naturally after the recommended six months.".

It seems British society perceives breastfeeding as not the done thing, I would say from my own family the comments were quite negative too. I was made to feel it was disgusting both before the birth of my children, and after I had my baby actually asked by a close family member to go and feed my 3 week old in the toilets of a restaurant when I was feeding very very discretely with nothing on show - apparently it "makes men uncomfortable" - hmmm not as uncomfortable as the sight of overweight men shirtless in Summer makes me!
Also my father in law came up with the helpful advice that I should use a bottle as otherwise I wouldn't know if she was getting enough - er she was the chubbiest baby ever at this point!

I realise that I am at risk of sounding like a militant - I am not - I was just lucky enough to find that it was something that came quite naturally to my babies and was fairly easy for me though hard work at times.

Anyway in the hope it might help someone here are the things I learned on the way:

- go into it with an open mind, give it a go - you might find that your baby just knows what to do. Don't worry if you didn't understand the explanation at the parenting class or whatever - I didn't!

- don't necessarily take bottles into hospital - if it doesn't work then there is bound to be a 24 supermarket with ample supplies.

- if you don't get the support you think you should be getting from the midwife or health visitor seek more help! Phone the laleche league http://www.laleche.org.uk/ or the nct helpline http://www.nct.org.uk/info-centre/helplines.

There are breastfeeding clinics all over the country so ask for help if you are finding it hard.

When my second child was born I witnessed some shocking "help" in hospital and felt so sorry for the mums. One woman had been through an emergency c-section and was desperate to feed her baby and yet the only help she got was having her breast manhandled and shoved in her baby's mouth. I wasn't allowed to walk up and down the corridor to wind my baby - "health and safety" and overall there should have been much more help, things need to change.

A few tips, this bit for people feeding so men, you probably don't need to read this unless you are trying to be supportive of a partner:

- if it hurts badly your latch is probably wrong so reposition. It does hurt a bit at first as your womb contracts (one advantage to breastfeeding as it speeds that bit up a bit) but generally when it is established it is a different feeling but not a hurty feeling

- eat and drink plenty, you will need to. Have a glass of water by your side when feeding. Eat lots of carbs.

- don't worry if your baby isn't in a routine at first, that will come by about 8-10 weeks. Expect them to feed a lot in the evening and to be glued to the sofa.

- you can mix feed (formula + breast) but it can decrease your supply, generally your body makes exactly what the baby needs, very clever isn't it?!

- if you think you are being used as a dummy by your baby listen to hear if they are actually swallowing or not.

- expect it to take up quite a lot of time at first - this stage will pass. Meantime cuddle up with your baby and watch trash tv whilst you are feeding and take it easy (well as easy as you can). This will help your supply.

- Know that you won't need breastpads for ever, honestly. Yes they are icky but your body will sort itself out.

- Underwired feeding bras exist. They are great.

- When out and about and more confident you can feed discretely by wearing a vest under your clothes, pull the vest down and your clothes up and cover with a muslin if you want - you don't need to buy "breastfeeding tops".

- sore/bleeding nipples can happen (don't hate me but I never experienced this), buy some lanison. You can also get mastitis which feels like flu (again I avoided this), seek medical advice in this case or if you get a lump you can't massage out.

- feed however is comfortable for you, lying down or whatever.

- Take a break - if you have a partner and you can get them to cuddle the baby whilst you sleep (provided you have fed them), some newborns do feed every 2 hours and 3 is normal too - they have teeny stomachs!

- Lastly if it really truly doesn't work do not beat yourself up or think you are a failure!

That should be enough information to get you started. www.kellymom.com is a great source of information for any questions you might have.

Most often people worry that their baby isn't getting enough or that it takes a long time.
The pluses for me are that a) it is free b) it doesn't involve cleaning stuff c)it is good for your baby.

Sometimes mums can be told that formula will make their baby sleep better or that if they don't bottle feed they will be "tied". Neither points are necessarily true.

Personally I went into it with an open mind - I thought I would feed for the first 6 weeks, then 6 months and ended up feeding for over a year until my child decided to stop. I went back to work part time when she was 9 months and by then she was happy to feed from me morning and night only and I was able to supplement her milk elsewhere. If you had told me when I started I would have kept going that long I would have been suprised and probably a bit grossed out - but do you know what, when it came to it was my baby I was feeding and it was a special time.

If you are reading this when pregnant and can't envisage feeding - don't worry I couldn't either! Sometimes if you are very lucky breastfeeding can be something that just comes naturally to both mother and child; we really should support those mums who are feeding in this country and not see it as some sort of taboo or a bad joke "bitty bitty" and the rest.

Breastfeeding is something that I think all mothers who can should give a go.

Summary: The first parenting choice you will make