Rude Songs and Other Memories (Childhood Memories)

Member Name: zoe_page_1

Product:	Childhood Memories
Date:	10/12/02 (4455 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Funny (if you're young), teach them to your kids and gain respect (if you're old)

Disadvantages: Not exactly tasteful or PC at times

Or maybe ""Memories of Someone Else's Childhood"

How times change. I remember learning all the latest rhymes in the playground, a scary number of which has to do “having it off with Samantha Fox” – years before I knew who she was. This summer as lots of you know I was running a Kids Club for a British tour operator. We looked after kids aged 5 to 12 (technically – although it was often 3 to 14) and some of them were absolutely fantastic. On rainy days (and yup, in rains about once a month for an average of 3 days non stop in summer in Menorca), after we’d done the normal stories / painting / games, we’d have a sing song. In my training manual I had the words for “Songs for the season” but these were a little dated – by August at least all the kids were fed up with “All Rise” and “Don’t Stop Moving” – so we’d usually let the kids teach us their latest songs. These are some of the songs I learnt, all but one of which I’d never heard before. For the record, I’m not claiming to have invented any of these. I don’t know who did though so I can’t list their names. If any one has definite proof of authorship or whatever it’s called I’ll happily credit the appropriate people.

( ) mean the second bit comes back like an echo, as in the “Everywhere we go, (everywhere we go)” song.

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Harry Potter,
Harry Potter,
Where’s he gone?
Where’s he gone?
Run off with Hermione,
Run off with Hermione,
Poor old Ron,
Poor old Ron.

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Postman Pat,
Postman Pat,
Postman Pat and his black and white cat.

Walking down the garden,
<<A fart noise I’m finding impossible to write onomatopoeically >> I beg your pardon,
Pat you are a very naughty m
an.

<< Or the less “rude” but more horrible >>

Postman Pat,
Postman Pat,
Postman Pat ran over his cat.

Blood and guts went flying,
Postman Pat was crying,
You never saw a cat as flat as that.

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Romeo and Juliet (Romeo and Juliet)
On a balcony they met (On a balcony they met)
Romeo said to Juliet (Romeo said to Juliet)
You’re the ugliest girl I’ve ever met (You’re the ugliest girl I’ve ever met)

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I saw a bird (I saw a bird)
With a yellow bill (with a yellow bill)
He landed on (he landed on)
My window sill (my window sill)
I coaxed him in (I coaxed him in)

With a piece of cheese(with a piece of cheese)
And then I broke (and then I broke)
His bony knees (his bony knees)

<< Repeat >>

With a piece of bread(with a piece of bread)
And then I crushed (and then I crushed)
His teeny head (his teeny head)

<< Repeat >>

With a slab of meat (with a slab of meat)
And then I crushed (and then I crushed)
His little feet (his little feet)

<< Repeat >>

With a bottle of beer (with a bottle of beer)
then I pulled off (then I pulled off)
His weeny ear (his weeny ear)

You get the picture…….

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Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
Watching Man United,
Every time they scored a goal,
Humpty Dumpty farted

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There was a great big moose (there was a great big moose)
Who liked to drink a lot of juice (who liked to drink a lot of juice)
The moose’s name was Fred (the moose’s name was Fred)
He liked to drink his juice in bed (he liked to drink his juice in bed)

There was a great big moose (there was a great big moose)
W
ho liked to drink a lot of juice (who liked to drink a lot of juice)
He drank his juice with ease (he drank his juice with ease)
But he spilled some on his knees (but he spilled some on his knees)

There was a great big moose (there was a great big moose)
Who liked to drink a lot of juice (who liked to drink a lot of juice)
He drank his juice with care (he drank his juice with care)
But he spilled some in his hair (but he spilled some in his hair)

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In 1966
The Queen pulled down her nicks
She licked her bum
And said "yum, yum
It tastes like Weetabix"

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