How divorce affected me. (Children & Divorce)

Member Name: SamPerry

Product:	Children & Divorce
Date:	26/10/08 (139 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: I now have two lovely sets of parents!

Disadvantages: None for me.

My Mother fell pregnant with me unexpectedly at the age of 16. In that day and age, when things like this occurred the 'right' thing to do was to get married. Now im not saying that my Mother and Father didn't love each other, im sure that they did, but they were far too young to get married and settle down, they were pretty much forced into marriage for me.

It didn't take long for them to realise that they didn't want to spend the rest of their lives with each other and when I was two years old they decided to get a divorce. When I was three my Mother met another man, this was the man that I grew up with thinking he was my Father.

I still remember the day I met my real father as if it was yesterday. I was six years old and I remember Mum telling me we were going into town shopping, she got me all dressed up in a pretty dress and did my hair in lovely pigtails, I asked why I was getting so dressed up but she never told me at the time.

We arrived in town and waited at the bus terminal, a man then approached us and said hello to Mum, he paid a lot of attention to me but I still didn't know who he was. We went to a local café where we sat down and my Mum told me that this man was my real Father. This was the first time it had ever been mentioned that my step father wasn't my real Dad so I found it quite hard to take in at first, but then my Mum explained everything to me and I understood more. She then asked me if I would like to go and stay with my Dad for the night, I liked my Dad so was happy to go with him.

It's very strange how after so many years certain memories seem clear as the day they happened, isnt it!! I then remember my Dad taking me back to my Nana's house, which was where he lived then. All my family was there to greet me and I had a massive fuss made over me, I was given presents, sweets, toys, you name it!!! As a six year old child this was great fun!!!

I then started to visit my real father every weekend and i continued to do this until i reached the age of 16. By this age I was grown up and could then decide when I wanted to stay with my Dad as I was starting to live my own life. I must say that my visits did decrease but I did try to get to his house at least once a month, when I didn't visit, I always kept in contact by phone.

All the time I was visiting my real father I still lived at home with my step father, so I always looked upon them both as my Father. It was quite hard as I never wanted to let one knew that I loved them more than the other but in reality I would never had been able to choose between them. My real father will always be my real Father and someone who I know will always be there whenever I need him. But my step Father is someone that has constantly been at my side to support, love and encourage me, he was there at my sports days cheering me on and at my nativity plays watching from the crowd. I got married in 2007 and the thought of choosing which father would give me away tore at my heart for months, it was then that I decided they would both have to give me away otherwise I simply wouldn't get married!!! We got married in Cyprus and they both walked me down the aisle, so it was a perfect day.

I have been very fortunate that my parents split when I was too young to remember, so I don't remember any bad feeling or animosity between them. Plus they didn't go through a massive phase of hating each other; they split quite amicably so there was no huge custody battle over me.

The other fact is that my Father and my step father know each other and do get on quite well, so whenever there are occasions where they will both be there I know that there is not going to be any bad feeling towards them.

Throughout my life I have never felt bad about my parents divorce, this may sound strange but I have only ever been fortunate through it all. I have grown up with two fathers who love, protect and adore me, then my Father re-married so I also have a Mother and a Step Mother that also both love me very much. Therefore rather than losing a parent I have gained an extra two!!

Having two Mums and two Dads is something that I have always looked upon as being 'normal' and has always been part of my life ever since being a small child. I am glad that my parents decided to divorce rather than spending the rest of their lives unhappy, as it has goven them the chance to meet the person that they truly did love.

Summary: Divorce didnt affect me as badly as some other children.