Break the marriage, break the bond?? (Children & Divorce)

Member Name: bec2286

Product:	Children & Divorce
Date:	18/11/08 (47 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: i now have a great stepdad who is a brilliant grandad to my kids

Disadvantages: i have a whole other side to my family which i now know nothing about

i cant actually remember how old i was when my parents got divorced and i dont remember a time without my stepdad so it must have been when i was quite young. i remember having quite frequent visits from my real dad at first, twice a week i believe, but then as we got older we saw him less and less. once a week turned to once a month and as he remarried, seeing us became less of a priority for him. His new wife was awful, she hated kids so we tried to avoid her whenever possible but this meant not seeing our dad.Either way, we lost out. back at home things were plodding along nicely with mum, stepdad and now new baby brother, we moved house and gradually realised our dad wasn't interested in seeing us as that meant he had to pay the child maintenence. I think now, me and my sister had grown up enough to understand what had happened between mum and dad, although we never quite knew the full story. maybe it was a result of mum always slagging dad off but i started to slowly resent him, and everything to do with him. As i grew older and started my own life i refused to even acknowledge him in the street and we would quite happily carry on regardless, one day, he even came in the shop where i worked and was served by me and said nothing. not one single word!
i forgave him for everything once, the complete lack of parenting being the main thing but there were other details which i wont go into. i even moved in with him and wife NUMBER 3 for a while, whilst me and my partner were having some problems. i was 19. i soon found out that i was pregnant and as wifey three couldnt have children, he kicked me out,as to avoid any uncomfort for her! during this time, my sister had a little boy who was born prematurely. My dad and wifey took it upon themselves to turn up at the hospital pissed as farts. She never forgave them for showing her up and i never forgave them for refusing to acknowledge and support my pregnancy. i now have two kids, neither of which now anything about them and they have never and will never see them. On the other hand, my relationship with my stepdad, which had, at times been hard work was blossoming. he adores our children and is the best dad and grandad me and my family could have wished for. People who meet me now will meet him as my dad and will probably never hear anything about my old dad. He had his chance to be a dad and he didn't want to take it. i find it very hard to trust men for some reason, i think it is because i know what it is like to be let down by the one person you are supposed to trust completely.

Summary: it takes a man to be a dad, but an even bigger one to be a stepdad!