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Divorced Parents Are Better Than Warring Ones
Children & Divorce
Member Name: janharper
Children & Divorce
Advantages: Peace in the home
Disadvantages: Children take time to adjust
The effect of divorce on children has long been a debated question. I know about the effects of this because I have been through it as an adult.
However, I have also been through the effects that warring parents have on growing children, as a child.
The most important thing for the children when a marriage ends, is that they know that the whole mess is nothing to do with them.
They have done nothing wrong.
They also need to be reassured that both parents love them although they may not be getting along very well themselves.
I am a great believer in letting older children know what is going on and not keeping things from them. (Omitting the nitty-gritty type details, of course.) This way children can adjust to the situation and see how it is being resolved. Reassurance and contact with both parents, if at all possible, is essential here.
The little ones need to be cuddled and reassured that way. If Mum and Dad are uptight and stressed, they small children tend to pick this up.
Divorced parents is often a better option for a child than parents who stay together 'for the children' and convert their home into a war zone.
This kind of environment can cause serious emotional difficulty in later life and make a children feel threatened, afraid and insecure.
The basic plan should always be to keep stress and upheaval to a minimum for children, in the simplest way possible. Enlist family help, encourage conversation and make sure the child feels safe and secure.
Divorced parents are sometimes better parent for a child to have, than parents who are constantly fighting and unhappy.
Summary: Divorce is sometimes the best option for all the family
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