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hard to move on.
Children & Divorce
Member Name: d9gymgxx
Children & Divorce
I know very well that a serious break up is extremely tough and a hard thing to cope with. I was beforehand mislead to believe that when people break up, they break up for a relevant reason and they're always far more happier than they were before. I was unfortunately involved in a major family break up recently. It was my nan and grandad's infact.
For some background information, this is what I know and what i have been told: My nan met my grandad 41 years ago. They got married four years later and moved to spain to live a 'better' life. This is where they had their three children, my mother and my two aunties. They had three children in the space of five years and once the youngest, my mother, was six years old - they moved back to England in a stunning eight bedroomed house. They knew very well that they were unable to live there because financially they didn't have enough monthly income to pay the mortgage - so they quickly got in debt. However, when my mother and aunties were growing up, my nan and grandad wanted them to live like upper class people - which they did. My mother was the last of the three children to move out, when she was 22 years old. My nan and grandad then moved into a three bedroom semi detached house just five years ago. During this period of time, my nan suffered depression and was unable to control her anxiety. This caused problems for my grandad and he suffered damage from a severe car accident. Since that moment, the arguements between my grand parents were frequent, leaving the pair of them devastated after every arguement, they didn't sleep in the same bed, or spent time in the same room even. Recently, just four months ago my nan come to live with me and my family.
My nan and grandad announced four months ago that they were getting a divorce, although the family knew about these on going arguements, the split was very un-expected and an emotional time for us all, even the little grand children who were too young to properly understand the concept of the two of them splitting up. The arguements that they had have now stopped, because they have no contact, but my nan will never stop complaining about their arguements, mostly financially based.
I have never experienced two people's break up effecting so many people emotionally. Our whole family have been affected, because for relationships you're supposed to look up to your elders, believing that it is possible to spend the rest of your life with somebody.
As far as my advice goes, i can only say that hobbies and friends are important during the period of the break up. We have kept my nan busy by making her go swimming regularly and get her doing gardening most weekends. For hobbies, make new ones because there is no point in her having hobbies that she did with my grandad because she will remain emotionally attached - she has to see the bigger picture and try new things. Friends, make friends who will not constantly ask about the in's and out's of your relationship - although it is helpful to have a friend that you can sometimes talk to about the split.
on ciao under d9gymg
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