IT HURTS (Children & Divorce)

Member Name: Crypzy

Product:	Children & Divorce
Date:	05/06/01 (60 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Stops arguing

Disadvantages: Causes pain

Divorce. I hate the word. I hate everything it means and I hate all the pain it brings. This is my experience of divorce, as a child, not a parent.

From this day and everyday I have always been able to remember the day my parents announced they were splitting up. I was six years old, old enough to understand, old enough to be hurt. I can still remember what I was wearing, my little blue skirt with a white blouse with greys stripes on it. I had a tissue in the right pocket of my skirt.

For as long as I could remember I don’t think my parents had a happy marriage. I used to lie awake at night and hear them shouting at each other, God knows what about. Stupid things really, my Dad was constantly away on business and Mum was stressed and bored at home with me and my brother. I know I am lucky, there was never any physical violence, just row after row every night which was enough to upset me then.

I was ever so close to both my parents, Dad seemed to be extra special as he was always away on business so I loved it when I did see him. I was a “Daddy’s girl”, he was always buying me presents, but he was also my reassurance, my strength and security.

Now we go back to D-Day. I was running around in circles in the living room, obviously trying to forget what was happening. I don’t know how, but I knew what they were going to say, and when they told me I just grinned. How else was a six yr old supposed to react? As my little head acknowledged what they were doing, I ran upstairs and cried for hours whilst clutching on to my tissue that was in my pocket. My Dad came upstairs, crying and hugged me. He said that I would still see him and we could come to visit whenever we wanted, but it didn’t help the pain I felt in my stomach, the feeling you get when you lose something.

After the divorce, everything changed. I was a bright, happy, outgoing little girl until we moved. We didn’t move far, a
bout 15 miles. But I had to leave my best friends, my school, my house and my Dad. For some reason, I changed a lot after this. My new school was radically different from the old one. I had moved from a nice little church of England village school to a big Primary school on a trading estate. The school didn’t even put me in the right year. I got put in the year above and remember listening to my classmates talk about boobs and willies. As a result of the move, I dropped dancing classes, I used to do ballet, tap and modern. I think I lost all my confidence and felt very insecure due to having no father around.

During my schooling years, I did every typical thing a teenage girl does. Including everything there was to upset my parents. Maybe it was for attention, but everything I did had to be my way or not at all. I know I put my mum through hell and back, everything I could have done, I did. I now wish I had acted differently, I still hate myself for things I’ve done.

Well, I made it through all my schooling years, my mum has remarried and my Dad is settled with a new partner and another child. But I often wonder what it would have been like if they had stayed together, for instance how it might have affected my behaviour. The divorce still hurts me today. For some reason I have never been able to get over it. I used to blame both of them but I now understand that it was hard for them too. Sometimes, I hear my Dad say he’s missed us growing up but we all know we cannot change the past. Just think of today and care for the future.

I was going to give you all a lecture about marriage and divorce now but I’ve realised I can’t. I’m only 18 and I still have a lot to learn, but please please please people, think carefully about every decision you make, because it might not be only you it’s affecting.

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