First Love: You Must Remember This... (Juniors in general)

Member Name: ickkate

Product:	Juniors in general
Date:	27/02/03 (114 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: I've never really written anything like this, so I am a bit scared..., Acting is brilliant!

Disadvantages: I couldn't bring myself to check it through too many times because I was scared..., Autocratic directors ruin creativity.

A young girl sits cross-legged in front of a television. Images of ballet dancers flash across the screen, she pauses for a moment and stands up to switch off the television set. As she presses the big black plastic button on the front of the wood effect box, an idea becomes set in stone.

Perversely the images that raced across the screen did not inspire any inspiration for the art-form they depicted, but provoked a slightly strange response in this scruffy little four year old. They had made her realise what she did not want to do, and somehow what she did. She didn't want to dance - she wanted to act. At that age decisions seemed to be made in that kind of way - more a perverse series of ideas that led to a slightly illogical conclusion...

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Over the past fourteen years she had taken every opportunity available to her to stand on a stage and veil herself in another guise. Whatever happened, an idea burned in her brain and heart, and it was one that gave her strength when life dealt its hard blows. Whatever people said or did she knew that there was one thing that she would do to prove them wrong. And, most importantly she would do it well.

She moved aside the curtain and stepped on to the stage. Wearing an old pair of walking boots, a headscalf and a scruffy, oversized suit she frantically began to pace back and forth across its length until finally she glanced up and began to talk to the audience. Strangely, she didn't see her fellow classmates that acted as an audience, but looked out in to a void empty except for a presence that she felt drawn to communicate with.

At that moment she knew that it was right. She knew that the actions and intonations of her voice were correct and couldn't be improved. In those brief minutes of performing the piece she knew what it truly meant to act. It was like a smooth clicking into place of the last
piece of the jigsaw puzzle. A kind of satisfying feeling that everything 'worked'. That peering out from those eyes was a creation of herself - one that somehow enabled her to observe her actions from another corner of the room. And with that one special moment she felt that nothing could bring her down from experiencing near-perfection.

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Four years later a lot had changed. As with every first love, things had somehow altered. She had achieved several more moments that had made her heart soar and her problems melt away. Unfortunately not every performance was like that.

Heartbreak had happened when 'Rosencrantz' met a director with an immovable vision, and one that did not allow her the creativity she had known and craved. Instead of feeling liberated and challenged, she felt as if she had been placed in a cage with slippery bars that she could not even hold on to. Crushed, she realised that her freedom was what she needed and that reality was not the soaring emotions she had felt. In fact, nearly every director would require from her the opposite of what she loved.

It was soon after this that she realised that she must let her first love go. Maybe one day they might meet again, but right now the pain ran too deep.

Summary: