My story of miscarriage (Miscarriage in general)

Member Name: diamond345

Product:	Miscarriage in general
Date:	12/02/09 (178 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: none

Disadvantages: it's heartbreaking

February 18th 2001 - a date which will always bring terrible and sad memories to my mind. At this time of year, with just under a week to that date, I get a little bit melancholy and at quiet times in the day start to think back to what happened. I'd like to share my story because there were awful mistakes made at the time.....preventable mistakes which could have made the difference between a normal grieving process, and something which was like something out of a nightmare. I'll start at the very beginning....

In 1997, after suffering very heavy periods for many many years, it was decided that the best course of action would be for me to have an endometrial resection , which is an alternative to having a hysterectomy, where they use a laser to remove the lining of the womb, and the layer underneath the lining. It means that afterwards periods should ideally stop, or at least become much lighter. The operation is only offered to women who have completed their families, and counselling is offered beforehand, because the chances of becoming pregnant afterwards are very low. This is what I was told anyway, although that's only half the truth. In fact it is possible to become pregnant, it's just you shouldn't become pregnant as it is dangerous for both mother and baby. I was even given an information leaflet before the surgery and there was absolutely nothing to warn about possible complications.
Fast forward four years later. The operation had been a success and after a divorce soon after, I had met the love of my life. He didn't have any children of his own but was quite happy to take on my two! We didn't worry about contraception - I assumed it was so unlikely for a pregnancy to happen, that it wasn't worth worrying over. And if I ever did get pregnant- well that would be a bonus! One day I couldn't stand the smell of my perfume and I was feeling very icky all the time. I knew this feeling! And I knew what it meant! I rushed to get a pregnancy test and we were so excited when we saw the little blue line! My hubby was absolutely over the moon and chuffed to bits!
I was slightly worried about the operation I'd had, and asked my doctor about it. He said he'd never known anyone to get pregnant after this type of surgery, and hadn't a clue whether it would be allright or not, but if the scans were ok, then everything should be fine. I had an eight week scan - everything looked fine. I had a twelve week scan - everything still looked fine. Then one day, at around eighteen weeks, I started to bleed a little. A visit to the doctors told me to go for a scan. Everything looked fine, in fact the sonographer was rude to me and told me my tummy pains were "pregnancy stretching pains!" I went home and rested like I was told and things seemed to settle down. Then I was at my mum's house , doing a jigsaw, and my waters broke. I knew in that moment that my tiny little baby was going to die, this was much too early for it to be born safely. I cried on my daughter's shoulder while we waited for the ambulance and was taken to hospital into a little private side-room, where I was told to wait for nature to take its course and to go into labour. Although I didn't. After waiting for four days, with just increasing tummy pains but no actual labour starting, I was taken for a scan. Heartbreakingly, I saw my tiny baby, still alive, on that screen. They said there was no chance now of it being able to live as there was no water protecting it whatsoever. I had to sign a form for them to give me a termination, but I felt really upset doing that as I wasn't terminating my baby, I was miscarrying it.
The forms signed, it was back in the room, hooked up to drip which gave medication to induce labour. They tried lots of different medication over the next three days - none of it worked. A doctor internally examined me and pulled out my baby's arm. He said "sorry", wrapped it up, left the room. This was getting harder and harder to deal with. After four days of intravenous drugs, they said they would take me to theatre to terminate. I was actually relieved by this- just wanted it to be over.
I had the surgery. My hubby was waiting for me as I was wheeled back into the room. The following morning, the surgeon checked my tummy and gave me the all- clear to go home. I popped to the loo before leaving, and felt something coming out of me - it was two legs. I screamed and the nurses came running in - and I had to give birth to my baby. It was a little boy I dont know what happened in that operation, but something obviously went wrong. But there was worse news - the baby's head was still stuck - it meant another operation to remove it, so I had to go into theatre for a second time in 24 hours, for another operation.
A couple of weeks later, we had a funeral. We named the baby Dominic, and there was just me and my husband there, we wanted it that way. We scattered his ashes in the little children's garden.
I didn't get over that experience for a very long time - I had panic attacks and couldn't go out. And I still remember it vividly to this very day. Especially when february comes around again.
I was told that they had revised the information given to women considering endometrial resection. I hope they have. And I hope my story will be of use to anyone about to undergo this procedure. You CAN get pregnant after this operation, but it's very unadvisable to do so. I didn't have a computer at the time all this happened to me, but I did some research when I did get one and there is a small amount of information on it, but not nearly enough. But nearly all the information does warn about a pregnancy- I think there have been a few babies born after this procedure, but a hysterectomy was performed at the same time. It is common to have a miscarriage in mid-trimester as opposed to the usual first trimester when most miscarriages happen.
All miscarriages are heartbreaking and my heart goes out to anyone who has to go through one. It does get easier to cope afterwards, I suppose time heals most wounds.

Summary: A day I'll never forget