IF IN DOUBT PLEASE GET IT CHECKED OUT (Miscarriage in general)

Member Name: junkboxjules

Product:	Miscarriage in general
Date:	20/01/03 (1140 review reads)
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Some of you probably already know that I have a 9 year old son, Jamie, Jamie is an only child, not through choice but because back in March 1996 I had an ectopic pregnancy, the result of which has left me unlikely to have another child. An ectopic pregnancy does not automatically mean that a woman will be left infertile and many women go on to have perfectly normal pregnancies. The reason I am writing this is partly to help myself deal with what has happened to me and partly to hopefully ensure that it doesn't happen to others. There is often a lot of media coverage about miscarriage but ectopic pregnancy rarely gets much publicity and therefore it is something which may be ignored until it is too late - ectopic pregnancies can be fatal.

On Saturday 24th February 1996 I had what I thought was a regular period, however on Wednesday 5th March 1996 - I visited my GP because I was still bleeding. For some women irregular bleeding is not unusual, however, I was concerned for two reasons, the first of which being that the apparent period was not like my normal period and consisted mainly of spotting - and depending on what I had been doing sometimes got heavier and other times was hardly noticeable. The second thing made me think that something was wrong was the fact that my periods were usually always as regular as clockwork, almost right down to the hour. They had been that way for 15 years or more and as I hadn't lost weight, been on any special diets, been exceptionally stressed or run down, (all these things can mess about with your periods), I became concerned.

My GP wasn't a great deal of help and merely made me feel as though I was wasting her time, telling me that it was quite normal for women to have irregular periods and that after my next period things would probably return to normal.

On Wednesday 13th March 1996 another 8 days had passed and I was still bleeding - my normal periods lasted for 7 days maximum - this ble
eding had now being going on for nearly three weeks and was showing no sign of stopping nor was the bleeding normal - spotting one minute and relatively heavy the next. During the previous couple of weeks I had noticed that if I sat with my feet up and balanced onto my right hand side I was aware of a dull ache in my lower groin area. However, if I switched sides and put the weight onto my left side the ache disappeared. Alarm bells started to ring as I remembered that I had recently read an article about ectopic pregnancy and began to wonder if this is what was causing the bleeding and aching. I made a Dr's appointment and took along an early morning specimen.

An ectopic pregnancy is a pregnancy where the baby is developing outside of the womb - usually in one of the fallopian tubes. If left untreated the fallopian tube can burst, causing the woman to loose a great deal of blood, an ectopic pregnancy is very dangerous and can be fatal, hence speed is of the essence to ensure that the pregnancy is not allowed to progress for too long before a firm diagnosis and removal of the ectopic pregnancy is made.

I explained to my GP that I was still experiencing the bleeding even though almost two and a half weeks had elapsed since it started and I also mentioned that I had been experiencing a dull ache on in right hand lower groin area. Again she didn't seem particularly bothered and still felt that it was probably just irregular periods and that I should come back in a week if things hadn't settled down. Not wishing to query her judgement I was about to leave and not mention my suspicions of an ectopic pregnancy, however, something stopped me, I guess I knew really but didn't like to undermine her authority. As a passing comment as I was about to leave I just dropped into the conversation that I had my suspicions that it could be an ectopic pregnancy and had brought along a urine sample, I asked if she felt it was likely and she said it c
ould be a possibility - she advised me to take the sample to the local chemist, have a test done and if it came back positive to make an appointment with her that evening.

I immediately left the surgery and went straight to the chemist. I had been desperately trying for another baby for several months and part of me really hoped that the test would come back positive - I tried to convince myself that even if the test was positive there just may be something that they could do to make everything ok and save the baby - even though in my heart of hearts I knew this was unlikely.

The twenty minutes it took for the pharmacist to do the test were probably the longest twenty minutes in my life. I walked around the local shops in a complete daze, unable to focus my thoughts on anything else. Eventually 20 minutes had elapsed and I returned to the chemist. The pharmacist came out to see me and confirmed that the test was positive, and congratulated me at the same time. At that point it all became too much - I just broke down - he asked if I was upset because I didn't want the baby - to which I replied no - I would love to have the baby but the chances are that I have an ectopic pregnancy and that there will be no baby. He replied that if this was likely to be the case the best thing I could do would be to get back to my GP so that she could arrange for me to have the pregnancy terminated. I could have throttled the pharmacist - I was extremely disappointed and upset and whilst I knew what that I was going to have to have the pregnancy terminated, at that point I was looking for a sympathetic ear to listen and reassure me, not the having brutal truth thrust at me.

Despite my GP telling me to come back later that evening to see her if the test was positive, I decided that I wasn't going to wait that long, and with tears streaming down my face I made my way back to the Drs Surgery. The receptionist, an exception from the usual dragon, very
kindly took me into a private room and allowed me to wait there with the practice manager until the Dr was free.

After a short while I was called in to see the Dr who telephone the nearest hospital with a gynaecology ward and arranged for me to be admitted immediately. She then advised me to go home, pack a bag and make my way over to the hospital.

Immediately I stepped outside the surgery I lit up a cigarette, unable to take in what had happened. At that point I had no car and was unable to get myself to the hospital without public transport. My husband was working away and the only person I knew that would be at home with a car was my mother in law. I walked to her house, (I didn't have a mobile phone at the time so I couldn't even telephone my husband). My mother-in-law was elderly and could not drive me to the hospital herself as she had her disabled husband to look after, she sat me down and gave me a cup of tea and then handed me the phone to ring my parents. My Mum arranged for my Dad to collect me and then take me to the local hospital.

At this point my husband still didn't know what was happening as nobody could get hold of him so my Mum came into the hospital with me.

When we arrived we reported straight to the emergency gynaecology ward where I was admitted. A couple of hours after we arrived an S.H.O. came to take a blood sample, he didn't have a clue about taking blood and after several attempts, and after nearly sending me through the roof, he eventually called for a nurse to come and take the blood. The nurse managed to hit the vein immediately and did not cause me anywhere near as much pain as the S.H.O. had done. The reason that they took a blood test was to monitor the hormone levels in my blood.

Half an hour or so later I was introduced to the consultant who took me into the emergency observation room to examine me - again sending me through the roof by causing me a great deal of pa
in. Eventually he concluded that as he could not feel anything I would need to have a scan, and as there was not enough time for me to drink enough water before hand I would have an intravenous drip put in so that they could quickly get enough fluid inside me to enable them to view the scan.

The same useless S.H.O. Was appointed to put the line in for the drip - yet again he could not find the correct place and by the time the line was eventually in I had several large bruises appearing on the backs of my hands where he had continually missed. Eventually I had the line put into the inside of my wrist as he had made such a mess of trying to get it into the back of my hand, (the insertion of the drip was very painful and even when it was in place it hurt a great deal).

Another hour passed and I still hadn't had a scan - eventually about an hour and a half later I was collected and taken to have the scan - however, despite having the line place the S.H.O. Had never set up the drip, so I'd gone through all the pain of having the line put in for nothing. In order to get an accurate view from the scan I was told that they would have to do an internal scan, the thought of which did not exactly thrill me, although funnily enough, despite the pain I'd previously suffered with the blood test, line insertion and internal examination, the internal scan was painless. During the scan the radiographer made comments to an assistant but, despite me asking, they never once told me the outcome of the scan. I was told I would be taken back to the ward and advised of the results when the consultant came to do his rounds.

A further three hours elapsed and eventually the consultant arrived, by this time my husband had just arrived too. The consultant explained that an ectopic pregnancy was often difficult to diagnose, and that as the scan hadn't shown anything conclusive, they were going to send me home and asked me to return on the Monday, fi
ve days later, for another blood test. I was asked to bring an overnight bag as if I needed to have surgery they would perform it there and then, I was also told to starve in case they needed to operate.

On Monday 18th March 1996 I returned to St Marys' Hospital Portsmouth for the blood test, my husband took the day off work to come with me and we arranged for Jamie to be looked after for the day. Upon arrival on the ward we were told that there was no way I would be staying in as the blood test results wouldn't be back until the evening - I was told that I could go home and I should ring at 8pm that evening to see what the results had revealed.

I was mad - Barry had wasted a days leave, Jamie had to be put through the upheaval of being dropped off with relatives and I'd spent the past two days preparing myself for the possibility of surgery - only to be told that it was never on the cards for that day anyway. Eventually 8pm came and I telephoned for the results - again I was told that the results were inconclusive and that I should come for another blood test two days later, again I was advised to starve and bring an overnight bag just in case I was kept in for surgery.

Two days later, Wednesday 20th March 1996, I again arrived at the hospital, had the blood test and reported to the ward. Yet again I was sent home and told to ring up at 8pm that evening. I explained my annoyance at the fact that an ectopic pregnancy was very serious but nobody appeared to be taking it seriously except for me. I'd been sent backwards and forwards three times now and still I had no idea what was going to happen. The nurse sympathised and explained that during a normal pregnancy the hormone levels double daily, during a miscarriage they halve daily and during an ectopic pregnancy they fluctuate. In order to assess whether I was experiencing a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy they had to continue monitoring the hormone levels.

At
8pm that evening I telephoned the hospital, and guess what, yes you guessed right, yet again I was sent away whilst they reviewed the case and asked to attend again on Tuesday 26th February 1996, for a blood test and arrive with my overnight bag. At 8pm on 26th February I telephoned for the results of the blood test - yet again I was told that the case was still being reviewed - at this point I asked to speak to somebody higher as I had now been bleeding for over 4 weeks - considering an ectopic pregnancy is a life threatening condition I did not feel that this was good enough and was fed up with being fobbed off. Nobody was available to speak to me so the Sister arranged to speak with the Consultant when available and ring me back. An hour or so later I received a telephone call asking me to attend the next day, Wednesday 27th March, for a scan and review.

This time I sent Barry to work and arranged for my Dad to drop me off and arranged that I would catch a bus home.

Typically, on this occasion, when I was all alone, after the blood test and scan, I was taken back to the ward and told that the scan had confirmed that I did indeed have an ectopic pregnancy and that I would be sent to theatre as quickly as possible. This time I had no overnight clothing, nor had I starved, however I prepared for theatre and was advised that as soon as there was a spare slot in the theatre schedule I would be taken upstairs for the operation. I had no way of contacting Barry who had assumed that I was only going in for a blood test and scan and I felt very alone. I asked the hospital to telephone my Mum but by the time they got round to it I was being taken to theatre so she was advised to wait at home as I would need to rest afterwards. They advised her to telephone later to see how I was.

The surgeon and consultant visited me and told me that they wouldn't know what had to be done until I arrived in theatre - therefore I was asked to sign two conse
nt forms - one for a laparoscopy - which is where they would insert a camera into a small incision in my belly button to get a good view of the area, and one for a laparotomy, which is where they cut a large incision across the bikini line and is necessary if the pregnancy is too far advanced that the fallopian tube cannot be repaired or saved and therefore has to be removed.

I was petrified, I remember travelling to theatre crying all the way, I then remember having the anaesthetic and feeling pretty yuck before pretty much immediately drifting off to sleep.

The next thing I can remember is being woken up in recovery and being taken back to the ward. Luckily Barry had been trying to get hold of me at home and had decided to ring my Mum who explained to him what had happened. As he was working away from home, with three other colleagues he was unable to get back to see me until the evening so he decided to telephone the hospital. Despite being my husband they wouldn't tell him what had happened and he had to wait until he was able to get to the hospital that evening to find out how I was.

Most of that day was a complete blur as I was so drugged up. However, I do remember needing to go to the toilet and being unable to pass urine. I was fitted with a catheter and spend most of the duration of the day asleep. Barry and my parents came to visit but quite honestly I wasn't really interested in visitors - I was so tired and in a lot of pain - I was glad when they left.

Whilst I was in hospital I kept a diary to write down my feelings and the events that took place during the day. The following paragraphs are taken from excerpts within my diary and explain how I felt and what happened during those initial days after the surgery.

The next day, Thursday 28th March, I was a bit more with it but still had to stay in bed, especially as I was wired up to a drip, catheter and drain.

Two days later, Friday 29th M
arch, I had the catheter and dressings removed. I got up and had a shower and went for a short walk but was amazed at how exhausted I felt. I was still in a lot of pain.

By Saturday 30th March I was walking about quite well - (I was desperate for a Figgie by then). Barry brought Jamie in to see me, it really gave me a boost and picked me up a lot. Seeing Jamie reminded me that I at least had one healthy child and temporarily helped to mask the deep upset that I felt for the child that I'd lost.

On Sunday 31st March I felt really sore as I'd done a lot of walking about the day before and really had overdone it. Mum and Dad came to visit me and Barry brought Jamie in again, that really cheered me up. I'm going home tomorrow so that has helped to cheer me up too.

Monday 1st April arrived, the day I was to go home. This morning I saw the consultant who confirmed that I could go home. I had the stitches removed and was told that I wasn't allowed to drive or undertake anything strenuous for 6 weeks to allow the wound to heal.

The first couple of weeks after the operation were very painful - both mentally and physically.

Obviously losing a child whether through miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or still birth is a very traumatic experience and anybody going this awful experience needs to take some time out to reflect on what has happened and learn to cope with the situation. The thing that I found most difficult to cope with was the fact that I wasn't offered any counselling, neither were there any leaflets available to help me come to terms with what had happened.

The only advice I received from the hospital before I left was that I could resume having sex after a couple of weeks providing I felt comfortable with it - having just lost a baby quite honestly that was the last thing on my mind.

I did, however, want to know how the ectopic pregnancy would affect my future fertility but nobo
dy would or could tell me. I had to conduct all the research into this condition by myself and make appointments to be referred to an infertility clinic when after 18 months despite trying for a baby I had not become pregnant.

Eventually after a course of fertility tests and drugs I was sent for a laparoscopy to see if there was a reason why I wasn't conceiving. The surgeon was unable to conclusively carry out the laparoscopy as there was so much scar tissue from the laparotomy and the caesarean operation from when I had Jamie, they have concluded that the scar tissue is probably blocking the remaining tube and I am unlikely to be able to have any more children unless I pay for IVF. This isn't an option as we can neither afford IVF nor are we prepared to put our perfectly good marriage at risk from the strains that come with IVF when at the end of the day we may still not end up with another child.

What really annoys me about my situation is the fact that it took nearly 5 weeks from the day I first started bleeding until the day I received the operation. I feel that if the operation had been conducted earlier the Drs may have been able to save the damaged fallopian tube and maybe I would now have the second child I would dearly loved to have had.

I am lucky that I have one child and I really do appreciate and treasure my son - the poor child probably gets smothered but it is only because I love him so much and really appreciate every day with him.

If this account helps just one person consult their GP and push for something to be done before it is too late then it will have been worth the pain it has caused me by writing it.

If I can offer anybody and advice or support I would be more than happy to do so.

Remember - not everybody suffering from an ectopic pregnancy is doubled up in pain - my condition could have gone unresolved for much longer if I hadn't have read an article that encouraged me
to follow my instincts and take further action. This condition can be FATAL please seek advice as quickly as possible if you think you may have an ectopic pregnancy.

Nearly seven years has passed since this happened to me - I have now accepted that I am unlikely to have another child, but I am still haunted by my experience and will never forget the pain that I have suffered both mentally and physically as a result of this. However, I am lucky enough to have a fantastic, supportive husband and a wonderful, loving son and each year things get a little bit easier.

Thank you for reading.

Julie

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