Depression - does it ever go (Post-Natal Depression)

Member Name: scardy86

Product:	Post-Natal Depression
Date:	25/09/09 (26 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: none

Disadvantages: Feeling so low about everything in life

I have suffered from depression for the last 6 years and i am only 23 years old. I often wonder to myself if it is my fault i am like this and also if my life will ever be normal again.

I really hate when people say that depression is nothing. They obviously have never exprienced anything like it. I have heard people saying that its all in the mind and that its nothing. How wrong are they?

I first got told i was post-natally depressed after i had my son. I was told if i took my medication, i would be fine within 6-8 weeks. I did take my medication and nothing got better, just worse.

A year after my son was born, i had to go see a psychiatrist. It did help but once he told me a was "fine" i didnt need to go and my life just got worse. I used to (and still do) envy new mums who seem so happy and their lives seem so great with they new child. Why didnt that happen to me?

Eventually, i decided i would have to do it on my own so i applied to go to college. I was great. I came off my medication, met new friends and even met a new partner. Life was finally starting to become worthwhile.

That all changed again on 31 December 2005. I was in a car crash and almost lost my life. I was in hospital for 4 weeks and i was so depressed. I just wished i had died! When i got out of hospital, i soon became pregnant. This helped me a little as i came to the conclusion that that was the reason for the crash. Although as the pregnancy went on, i became more and more depressed. The doctors told me that this was anti natal depression (i think) instead of post-natal. I knew it was more than that but for three years no one would believe or listen to me.

Eventaully, i had to go for a check up because of the injuries i sustained during the car crash. It was at this point my consultant orthopaedic surgeon realised i was not over the car crash. He was the only one how helped me get better. I was diagnosied with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and eventaully received the help i needed.

I am still on medication for depression and no longer see anyone about the crash as i have learned to deal with that. The only thing i cant deal with is the depression. i feel like such a failure. Like this is no meaning to my life. I sometimes times look at my kids and wonder if they would be better of without a mum who is always crying, having mood swings and has no interest in life whatsoever.

Will it ever get better? 6 years on and i am no step closer to getting better.

Summary: depression is much more harder that people think.