A Partner's Perspective (Post-Natal Depression)

Member Name: chrispitts

Product:	Post-Natal Depression
Date:	11/10/01 (82 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Advice for partners, Professional perspective

Disadvantages: Difficult

As a GP and new father, I've had a variety of experiences with postnatal depression, but the one I'm going to focus on is my wife's.
The pregnancy was unexpected. Not that that makes much difference, but there you go. The birth was fairly traumatic. Baby was in an undiagnosed breech position, so an emergency section was performed. My wife needed general anaesthetic, because they couldn't perform an epidural.

The first week after the birth, everything was fine - exhausting, but fine. Then it all began to change.

My wife became snappy and tearful. She began to ignore our new baby. She needed to be with people, she refused to be left alone in the house. Her Mum, fortunately, was really supportive, and lives nearby.

At this point, I suspected PND, and advised her to go to her GP. She was started on antidepressants.
Her mood got worse. She told me she had thoughts of ending it all, and of harming herself. She felt like a useless mother, a useless wife...
Gradually, the antidepressants kicked in. Gradually, she began to enjoy her daughter. And now, she only has the occasional bad day. But it got me thinking...

I think part of the problem was isolation. None of our friends are in the same situation. Our local GP had no contacts with support groups/counsellors. My wife felt alone and afraid, with no-one to talk to.
Another factor was my work, meaning I wasn't around as much as I could have been. At least her mum was available.

And something else I learned. Postnatal depression affects the partners. A lot. I became miserable, withdrawn and lethargic. I became snappy too, and my wife and I argued about nothing. But unlike my wife, I had no-one supporting me. I'm not moaning, I'm not feeling sorry for myself, but that's the way it is.

My advice? Words of Wisdom? To anyone with PND, or with a partner with PND - remember, you're not alone, others have been through it,
others are going through it. It will pass, one day. Try to be tolerant of each other, and if it all gets too much, talk to someone else - your GP, friends, family. Do not suffer in silence and hope it'll go away.

That's about it. Hope it helps.

Summary: