pregnancy predicament (Pregnancy Complications)

Member Name: Aleesha

Product:	Pregnancy Complications
Date:	24/11/07 (194 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: my first baby has changed my life style.

Disadvantages: nope

"Pregnant already? So soon! Well that's nice . . .'' After hearing this a few dozen times I really began to wonder what on earth people mean by it. It is a jab at my apparent eagerness to have a child right after marriage or an implication that I'm one of 'those people' who do nothing with their lives but produce children?

This can be followed by "do you have the pregnancy glow yet" And even "you must be getting really spoilt nowadays, sleeping, resting, doing nothing, getting pampered". Comments such as these from the so-called well-wishers towards us pregnant woman should be outlawed. It is indeed a blessing to bring a life into this world but forgive me to not looking overjoyed after days and weeks of puking, acidity, skin rashes and overall breakdown of all bodily functions!


Secondly, why do people think that it is enjoyable to 'do nothing' and sit around all day and why the picture in their heads sees us being spoilt head to toe by maids massaging us, oiling us and dousing us with scented water? Idleness is the worst feeling in the world, made even worse by the physical inability to accomplish anything through the rough pregnancy days.


There are several myths associated with pregnancy which makes one wonder as if becoming pregnant denotes membership of some kind of special 'community' that other people enjoy looking at and talking about.

Pregnant woman are not lazy. They physically do not have enough strength at times to even engage in daily seemingly easy shores. Pregnant woman certainly are not crazy; they just act in unpredictable fashion because of their hormones. Think of the monthly demon that possesses all women for a few days each month and then stretches it out to nine! Imagine what's going through on in their body now!

At times I feel I am scrutinised by people, mostly the men in my life, such as my father and my husband for being careless, forgetful, inefficient and accident-prone and my repeated hue and cry about how it's the pregnancy and not me falls on deaf ears. People don't quite understand that being pregnant changes a woman's personality, likes, dislikes, inclinations and even capabilities - and there are some things she just can't do. Also, all pregnant women are different and it isn't fair to say "well she could travel or she kept hp her job while she was pregnant, why can't you?"

Most pregnant women don't really feel the maternal instincts during the beginning and I myself found that the associated illnesses such as puking, acidity, gas, strange aches and pains, migraine, shortness of breath etc., can really take a great deal out of you, not leaving enough emotional energy to concentrate on the life growing inside of you. It's most likely somewhere in the 2nd trimester when one has a chance to stop focusing on the body that feels alien to us and think about what's actually coming, a baby! The weight gain becomes more dramatic as time progresses and the appearance of the 'bump' really help to bond with the idea that here is a growing baby inside.

The emotional rollercoaster is one adventurous ride from days when one feels sick and tired of being bloated, of backaches, insomnia and leg cramps and begins to forget the time when one wasn't pregnant. The pendulum swings between depressive thoughts and panic and fear of becoming a parent, "will I be able to do it, will I be good at it?" or "how will my relationship with my husband change" to days when one begins to picture a beautiful life with a new member of the family.

On good days, room designs, mental shopping lists, colour themes, name choices, even long-term schooling and toddler activity ideas begin to crowd my mind. By the third trimester things begin to settle down simple because mind and body have become fairly adjusted to their new proportions and one doesn't feel defensive about being pregnant anymore.

I no longer feel guilty about not being able to do certain things and don't feel the need to justify my urges for food, naps or emotional reassurance. I just take what I need when I need it, although this is also the time when impatience begins to kick in for two reasons. The overall "I really have had enough already, how long more to go" feeling coupled with the getting excitedly obsessive about seeing baby, holding it and looking after it.

The last few months have their share of pregnancy blues and whites and oranges; aches and pains in places you didn't know excited, the ever-increasing weight, just when you think you can't get any bigger, you do! Even breathing in air seems to add on a few pounds a day and getting out of bed or starving in bed, getting in and out of cars, walking up and down stairs as you waddle like a penguin becomes harder and harder; but somehow the overall positivism and excitement of preparing for the baby's arrival makes this time enjoyable. The kicks and nudges and baby hiccups and reactions to sound and movement from within the womb are the most valuable moments of this time, which often both parents can enjoy.

The baby's gymnastics or what often feels like football field practice can begin to tire you out but just the idea that the little one is saying something to you and is possibly as eager to come out as you are to hold them is exhilarating. Some women forget that even fathers can start to enjoy and bond with the baby before birth, if we encourage them.

I have certainly cherished some of the things that pregnancy has brought into my world: the newfound respect for my mother and all mothers for that matter, the compassion and consideration I receive from people around, particularly my nurturing husband. Every stage in my life has its perks, being young and frivolous, studying, working and enjoying financial freedom; then marriage and the independence it brings and starting a family can feel like an obligation or far too dramatic a change. Oddly enough, when it happens and you wake up one morning with your future transformed, as you come to terms with it, you really can't remember what life was going to be like without this.

The blues are a natural part of staring anything new and struggling through thoughts of "oh I could have done this and that, now I cant", "I', not really ready for this, it isn't the right time". This can often make you feel torn and guilty, but rest assured, as time goes by they are replaced by thoughts of joy, acceptance of what life brings your way and the knowledge that even this change in life is something you will handle and come to appreciate.

Summary: when the doctor said me you are pregnant, that was the most beautiful moment in my life.