Compromise Saves Lives (Preparing for Birth)

Member Name: elbar1

Product:	Preparing for Birth
Date:	01/10/08 (94 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Learn as much as you can

Disadvantages: Don't be stuck on one idea

Well I gave birth to my beautiful son just 3 days ago so it is all fresh in my mind! I don't think you can really prepare for your birth, especially your first.

I wanted a water birth and I prepared myself for exactly what would happen and who would play each role. I spent ages beforehand researching it all and when I settled on a water birth in hospital, I felt empowered and in control and ready for our imminent arrival.

However, my waters broke a week before my due date on the Thursday evening. I was having contractions all day Friday, becoming progressively worse but the midwife said I was only 2cm dilated and might want to consider being induced the following morning. She said it was not recommended because it can be extremely painful and would rule out a water birth. I was in so much pain, my hopes for a water birth came way down my list of priorities. Also, the risk of an infection getting to the baby doubled from 0.5% to 1%, which although still low, was in my opinion, still a risk not worth taking.

I went in on the Saturday morning after a night of more contractions. I was only 3cm dilated so they put me on a drip. This meant I couldn't move around much. I had been labouring over a gym ball to ease the contractions but even this became difficult.

Then after nearly a day of contractions and pushing my husband was distraught at the amount of pain I was in and begged them to do something. They suggested an epidural but there was nobody available to administer it so I settled on pethidine in the mean time. This was a fabulous pain reliever and worked instantly. I then had the epidural. Although a great pain reliever, it meant I could not move a took a long time to work out how to push.

By the early hours of Sunday I had been labouring intensively for 10 hours. The baby was in distress, as was my husband - I was far too out of it on drugs to notice the pain! The midwife suggested an assisted delivery, to which I agreed because by this stage I was really worried about the baby.

The registrar arrived and took total control of the situation. She said I had one go at pushing with the ventouse suction fitted and then she would cut me. I was terrified and had my eyes closed crying but she shouted at me to open them and focus on her. This was exactly what I needed - someone to take charge and tell me what to do. I tried really hard but I could feel that every time the baby's head crowned, it then slipped back in again. She said she was going to cut me. I just didn't care at this point. Previously, tearing or being cut were my worst nightmares for child birth. When it came to it though, all I cared about was my precious baby. She gave me a local anesthetic and then cut me. She applied the suction again and as I pushed I felt first his head and then his body. She also had her hand around him and I could feel what I thought was him wriggling but later realised that it was her hand working him out.

They placed him on my tummy for a few seconds only and then whisked him away. I was really disappointed at the lack of skin contact time. I had wanted a water birth where the baby would drop into my hands and I would lift it onto my chest to stay there until the cord stopped pulsating and the baby was ready to breathe. There I was lying on my back in a room with about 15 people with blood pouring all over me and i didn't even get to hold my baby.

I later found out that they whisked him off to be resuscitated. He had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck twice and his chest once. He was slowly strangling with each contraction. As I pushed him out, it pulled the cord tighter. Thank God I was in hospital with constant monitoring and a team of people who each knew their role inside out. And thank God I had the sense to not stick to my principles of a water birth. If I had done, my son would not be here now.

If I ever have another one, I will want a water birth. But after my experience, I would never choose to have my baby anywhere but a hospital. Why risk it? My pregnancy was plain-sailing. At no point was there any suggestion that the baby might be unwell and yet look what happened to me.

The moral of the story: Read as much as you can to educate yourself about what could happen and what your choices are but be prepared to compromise and to listen to the professionals. They have your safety at heart and all they want is for your baby to be born healthy. You may known your own body and your own mind but they will know far more about the potential risks and complications that are specific to your situation. Let them help you. Without the wonderful team of people at Torbay, my little baby might not have made it.

My main lessons:
1. Drugs in labour make your baby sleepy and slow your milk coming in. I could not have coped without the drugs that were given to me. However, I was not prepared for how sleepy my baby would be and how much I would worry about him.

2. Induced labours are more painful. The contractions are stronger and quicker and your body does not have a chance to build up a pain barrier. Therefore, they are likely to result in an epidural. It is still worth being induced though, if you feel it necessary. If I had let nature take its course after my waters broke, my baby may or may not have contracted an infection. He certainly wouldn't be here now, because the umbilical cord would have strangled him before anyone realised.

3. You haven't failed if you don't labour naturally or in the way you want. It is easy to say. I feel like a wimp for having an epidural and a bad mum for taking the drugs that passed over to my baby. But that is the way things were. Being a mum is about what you do for your baby, not how you popped him out!

I am writing this in agony, with three inches worth of stitches between my legs and a bum that is black and blue from the suction that was used. I cry when I feed my baby because it hurts so much to sit down, to lift him and his sucking causes my muscles to contract and I get agonising shooting pains between my legs and down my legs.

Would I change any of it? No.
Was he worth it? Most definitely!
Would I have another one? Give me a break! It was 3 days ago!

Summary: Compromise saved my baby's life.