Love him or hate him, I'm stuck with him! (Sibling Rivalry!)

Member Name: ld75454

Product:	Sibling Rivalry!
Date:	05/02/09 (319 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: It's only natural

Disadvantages: Causes headaches for parents

*What Is Sibling Rivalry?*

Basically, sibling rivalry is defined as being a sort of competition or hostility between brothers and sisters. This can be due to favouritism by parents and other family members or character clashes. But generally, and in my case sibling rivalry is a natural part of growing up.


*My Experiences*

My review of this topic is going to be about the relationship and rivalry between me and my brother Tom. There is only 18 months between us and we are very different in personality. I am a fairly quiet person and prefer to keep myself to myself whereas Tom is extremely extrovert, loud and outgoing. I am academic, whereas he is by far more practical!

When we were younger, my brother and I used to fight like cat and dog. How my parents used to put up with us is beyond me. One of the most tedious but also the most frequent argument was over who had control over the television remote. I now look back and think why on earth did this cause us so many arguments? I think it was probably a control fad between us both; whoever had the remote was 'better'. I wouldn't have minded but he watched complete rubbish! I mean come on, who watched Hey Arnold and Renford Rejects?

When we travelled in the car, we would argue about anything, form who would sit in the front, to who is 'taking up the others space' whilst sitting in the back. I'm surprised, looking back, that my mum didn't have an accident with the noise that we made. I sure that any parents reading will be thinking to themselves, I've been in that position. But again, it seems to me that this is bickering and a slight power struggle between brother and sister.

For approximately eight years my brother and I were members of a karate club. This is when the sibling rivalry between us was almost certainly at its most prominent. We started at the same time and strangely gave up at the same time, probably because the spirited side of it had gone for us and we didn't enjoy doing it alone. Whether it was the weekly classes or national competitions, the contest between us was always present and to be honest, we thrived on this. I don't believe either of us would have lasted as long participating in it otherwise. We went through each belt grading together. Had one of us failed a grade, this may have affected us massively but since we both passed every grade at the same time, we will never know.

One cause for sibling rivalry between us was the treatment of us both by teachers at school. Like most children we went to the same secondary school. As I was two school years older than Tom, he had the same teachers that had already been educating me. It annoys me looking back that they compared us to one another. Frequently, my brother would come home from school in a strop stating that the teacher had said to him "Why can't you put as much effort in as your sister?" Can you even imagine how frustrating for him this must and been and how disheartening particularly when he'd put in a great deal of effort. And on the other hand, from my point of view, when teachers would say that my practical work wasn't to the same standard of my brother who was 2 years younger. I think it was wrong for them to have treated us as though we had the same qualities. At the end of the day, we are individual people, not clones of each other. Take us or leave us.

It makes me chuckle when I watch Friends, the relationship between Ross and Monica. Some of the storylines regarding their relationship when they were younger reminds me of what my brother and I are like. Petty arguments between the pair are parallel to that of ours. The episode about Ross and Monica's childhood belongings destroyed by a flood in the garage especially.

*Overall*

Tom is 19 and I am 20 (soon to be 21). We are now extremely close and the sibling rivalry, whilst still exists, is most definitely toned down. The only thing we compete against is how much one another have spent on each other at Christmas time. We did have our fair share of arguments and fights but would I have had it any other way? Not a hope.

I can't tell you what my parents did or did not do to try and prevent our sibling rivalry, but as we now tell each other everything (well almost, we have to have some secrets) they didn't do anything wrong. In my opinion, sibling rivalry is natural and my views are to just let nature take its course.

Summary: Let it be.