Ups & downs (Sibling Rivalry!)

Member Name: donnaford

Product:	Sibling Rivalry!
Date:	17/08/01 (56 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Special bond

Disadvantages: Jealousy

This is a really hard op to write and I think people will find me very childish. But please bare in mind I love my sister more than anything in the whole world.

I was an only child until almost 7 years of age. I wasn’t lonely but I was glad about my sister being born in a way. Except for one thing. To say that my father & me weren’t close would be a gross understatement. He wasn’t there when I was born or indeed there much until I was almost 5 years old and my parents got married. I resented that he took my mum’s attention away from me and that he barely acknowledged my existence. Only today I realised I have no idea what he looked like from when I was 1 until I was about 12. When my sister was born my father was there, he was devoted to her, adored her. Of course, he didn’t spend a lot of time with her either – he is a selfish, callous, flawed man and he has very little time for anyone other than himself. He simply doesn’t know how to love.

Anyway, back to the point. I loved my beautiful little sister. I held her, played with her, and enjoyed her sweet company as a baby. It wasn’t until she was a toddler I became annoyed and sibling rivalry reared its ugly head. Of course all toddlers are naughty and mischievous, but I felt like it was another family member planning personal attacks on me. Grown tired of 9-10 years of cruel taunts from my father, my sister’s ruining of my things was too much to take. She’d scribble on my schoolwork, smash my pottery and break my ornaments. I felt like she was doing it to hurt me, rather than accidentally breaking them out of curiosity. I still loved her, but we began to fight over silly things. One day she shut the door in my face, so I pushed it back and unfortunately it caught her toenail. I felt terrible that I’d hurt her but I was so angry that she’d slammed the door in my face.

We didn’t regain our closeness until our paren
ts separated. Kara was daddy’s little angel, the light of his life, and now he wasn’t around. I think it was hard for her. My mum loves her, yes, she thinks she’s beautiful and clever (no one can deny that), but she didn’t show Kara any special attention. My mum isn’t a very warm person either. Kara went from the admired daughter to just another person. In a way it was easier for me. We went to live with my grandparents and my Nanna has made no secret that I am her favourite grandchild. She helped raise me until I was 4 so we have a special bond – I am closer to her than my own mother. Kara was still mischievous and my Nanna blamed her if anything went missing. Of course, 70% of the time Kara was to blame but she never meant to cause hassle.

We lived with my grandparents for about 18 months before Kara went to live in Wigan with my mum & her new fiancé. While we lived together with my grandparents we would squabble over petty things since we had to live in one room. With the space came a new closeness that remains even now despite the distance. If Kara was sad, she would usually go up to the bathroom to cry. I would go up, hug her and talk to her. In recent years she has returned the favour. We hardly ever see each other but no one and nothing can come between the bonds we’ve formed.

It is not a perfect relationship. No, I have been guilty of terrible jealousy. Kara is beautiful, sweet, intelligent and just this “perfect” person I could never hope to be. It’s almost unbearable to walk next to her because I know people wonder who I am. I used to use my intelligence to win the respect of my parents since I am not beautiful like Kara, but Kara’s intelligence surpasses mine. But do you know what – that doesn’t matter one bit to her. She wrote in my birthday card that I’m the best sister in the world. She even thinks I’m pretty & intelligent. (Ok, so we could add c
razy to the list of her attributes!) We couldn't be more different in terms of appearance, but we still have a certain sensitivity and warmth in common.

It is easy to get caught up in petty arguments with your siblings. I now have a half-brother and half-sister who fight like cat & dog. But at the end of the day, the bond you share is one of the most precious things. My half-brother and sister hit each other during the day and yet curl up to sleep in the same bed at night! (Out of choice I might add – there are 2 beds in the room.) Don’t let silly things, like jealousy, get in the way of your relationship with your sibling (s) – they’re one of the few people in this life who will love you unconditionally.

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