My Boys Are My World (Single Parent Families)

Member Name: xjemloux

Product:	Single Parent Families
Date:	12/06/09 (150 review reads)
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I myself am a single parent, I was 'single' to begin with though. I am one of those open minded people and sort of allows and accepts near enough everything that goes on in the world today at times, and having to be a single parent has never phased me.

The father of my two was a friend, and I believed were becoming more than that, but me being gullable and naive thought wrong. I got pregnant 'by accident', I won't say mistake as my boys I do not class as a mistake - I believe in everything happens for reason and I got pregnant with my twins for a reason, what that reason is I don't know but I'm glad it happened!

I had my boys, and to this day I do not find it daunting or bad that I am a single mum. Their father now sees them, but he is not a full time father of his own accord not mine, but so long as my boys know their father that is what matters.

I love being a mum, don't get me wrong it's hard work, two babies running around, copying each other, fighting you know the drill when it comes to toddlers. But all the smiles, the cwtches and the love and affection I have with my children stomps all over the bad things and the hardwork. That kiss goodnight is worth every second of hardwork with my boys.

I love to try give them the best I can, and to the best I can. I love the attention they get as they are twins, but this is when things start to get my back up. I know we can all be quite nosey and not agree with other peoples lifestyles etc, but some people I really don't think have a heart half the time. The amount of jokes, snide comments, and downright rudeness I have had because I am a single mum is beyond! "Aww well it's a good job you have your Mum' ... This is probably my biggest annoyance. My Mum is my boys NAN not their Mum, it's ME who is their mum so it's ME who is looking after them on my own the way any mother should if you ask me. My mum works 4 jobs a day and hasnt the time to help the way other people make out she does. I don't see why at the age of 22 (going on 52 sometimes lol) I can't look after my own children on my own. It really does bug me that strangers make it perfectly obvious with comments such as that and others that they either think I'm too young to cope on my own, or don't look like I can cope, or just don't agree with it. TOUGH! This may seem so trivial, but it is these comments etc which prove that single mums, and dads for that matter are stereotyped and we are all rammed in the same boat.

In an ideal world, or should I say my ideal world I would have liked to have a proper family the way I was brought up, a Mum and Dad in a stable relationship and two parents to love my children. But everything isn't hunky dory in the real world. But I know my boys are happy, and have been more than content in their lives for the past 19months without their father and his family there 24/7, just because I am a single mum does not mean I can't provide the way a Mother and a Father would and can't make them happy.

So long as my boys are happy that is all that matters to me, so I will continue to do the best I can for them and make sure their happiness continues. They see their father, but I am their main carer, I bring them up by my rules. So because I am not in a loving relationship I am classed as a single mum - So be it - it does not mean my kids are cared for any less.

This is just my personal story, but of course all single parent families are different, whether it being parents getting divorced, parents passing away, one night stands and not knowing the father, the mother or the father having custody because of violence, drug abuse, a death of a family member and for many other reasons.

Whatever reasoning behind a single parent family all that matters is that the children are happy, their wishes are met if they want to see the other parent (of course if it means they are not in any danger), they are brought up properly etc as with any family with two parents who are together.

Just because a child has just one parent doesn't mean they are any different. I don't believe that just because a child doesn't have a mum or a dad it means they can go off the rails, cause havoc, become a criminal etc which tends to be a lot of teens reasonings behind things these days, "I didn't have my Dad in my life so I went and burgled somebody or I took drugs", so long as the parent who IS there disciplines their child, teaches them right from wrong etc there is no excuse for any child or teen to do it. Of course it can affect them in some way or another, but it's not an excuse to go burgling people, hurting people, trashing property etc.

I do have alot of opinions when it comes to being a single parent. I'm not saying it's easier or better to have a two parent stable family as single parent families can be just as stable and comfortable. But people seem to do alot of judging when they know you are on your own with one child or more. It's mostly stereotypical comments, same old 'single mothers on benefits, six plus children and scrounging'. Not all of us are like this, or don't intend to stay living on benefits for that matter.

Single parenting though does not always mean the child only has contact with one parent. It can mean that the child stays with one parent all the time and sees the other on arranged days and times etc. So long as children have a healthy relationship with the parents that they do see - putting your feelings towards your ex or whoever aside a child will be happy, comfortable and believe that it is their normal family life.

In an ideal world parents would stay together and be happy but this is not the case and I certainly do not believe in staying together 'for the sake of the children' as this can often cause more problems for the children rather than helping them.

As for me I am quite happy being a single mum and my boys are my world!

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