Newest Review: ... him thinking I was going to split up with him. I broke down and told him I was pregnant. I then told him I had already gone to a doctor w... more
It is possible to be a good young mum.
Member Name: trayrope
Advantages: Young and full of energy so those sleepless nights don't matter.
Disadvantages: People judging you. Lack of confidence.
I am now 31 years old and my son is 14 years old. So its pretty easy to figure out that I was a teenage mum. I have been happily married for 15 years and have a 10 year old daughter too.
I left school with a good set of GCSE's and started doing my A levels in science, english, art and general studies. To be honest I did not really have much idea what I was going to do with my life, i had vague ideas of being a radiologist, but to be honest i lacked direction.
I had been with my boyfriend for 3 months when i discovered I was pregnant. It was a complete shock but my boyfriend (now husband) and I decided to keep the baby. I remeber leaving a note for my mum behind the taps in the kitchen and then legging it off to college. When I got home my mum gave me a big hug and told me to do whatever I felt happy with. My mum told the rest of my family and there reactions were mixed but they all supported my decision.
I moved out of my mum's and into a one bedroom flat with my boyfriend. Yes it was a council flat but my boyfriend worked to support me, as I had left college due to feelinfg ill all the time, and we payed our own way i do remeber only having about £25 a week left for food and other stuff after we had payed all our bills.
I got a lot of help from my aunty who gave us her old cot, pushchair and baby clothes. When I was five months pregnant we moved into a two bedroomed flat above my mum. It was like living with my mum again but with a lot of independance.
My boyfriend and I got married when I was 3 months pregnant. We were going to get maried after the pregnancy but my family asked us to do it before. It was a fantastic day. I was not showing then so I wore a traditional wedding dress. When i look at the pictures now I look so young.
I remember feeling vagually uncomfortable while i was pregnant as I looked a lot younger than 16. I was only tiny with this massive bump. I felt as though people were staring at me in a disapproving way. If my boyfriend had not been so fantastic I don't think I would of had the confidence to leave the flat the whole time I was pregnant. My midwife was a horrible woman who made nasty little remarks every time I went to see her. I had to see her every couple of weeks and every time I was nervouse. The hospital visits for scans were a bit better but none of the other expectant mothers would talk to me.
When I finally went into labour, I was two weeks late, it was very fast. I woke up in the night with terrible back ache so i had a couple of paracetomol and my Husband ran me a warm bath. That did not help so I got out the bath and my husband ran down to the phone box to call the maternity ward, I did not want to bother my mum as it was six in the morning. The Hospital sent an ambulance so we grabbed my bag and I waddled of to the ambulance. All the neighbours were up by then because the ambulance had the sirens going so they waved me off.
The birth itself was quite easy and I had no pain relief as i don't like needles and the gas and air made me feel really unwell. My son was born at 10.35am and weighed 8lb 2oz. When the midwife tried to pass me the baby I would not hold him and wanted him washing first. Typical teenager. My mum was the first one to hold my son, then my husband, then me. The hospital let me go home the next day as I was very insistant that I was not staying.
The first few weeks went by in a blur of nappies, bottles and family visits.
I was so proud of my son, I think having a supportive Husband and close circle of family really helped me through what could of been a very tough time. When I look back at the pictures of my son and i when he was a small baby i look more like his big sister apart from the fact i look so tired. It amazes me even now how well i dressed him and how clean i kept him. I bathed him every night and thought nothing of changing his clothes every time he got even slightly dirty.
I had my daughter when I was 21 and that was a totally different experiance. I did not care when people stared at me, I still only looked 16 so i had a bump and a 4 year old at nursery. I new I was capable of looking after my child and doing a fantastic job of it. My Husband has always been brilliante and has worked constantly so I have been able to stay at home with the kids and do all the mum things.
I did not get pregnant for a flat or for benefits. My husband and I have both worked hard to get where we are today. Now that my children are older I have been looking into going back to college but because we are not on benefits the cost of a college course is just to much at the moment.
I'm glad i had children young as I am young enough to keep up with my kids and even when they have fully grown and left home I will have so much time and the energy to do what ever I want to do.
Summary: I would not change a thing.