Why not to blame yourself if it doesn't work (The Breastfeeding Debate)

Member Name: jd001

Product:	The Breastfeeding Debate
Date:	19/05/09 (30 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Free and easy, health benefits

Disadvantages: Not always as easy as it sounds!

Breastfeeding is a topic I have very strong views on, don't get me wrong I don't mean that I am not of the opinion that everybody should breastfeed no matter what, I strongly believe that pregnant women should be given more information, before giving birth, about how breastfeeding may not work out so that they are prepared for that possibility. Therefore my review is not on the health benefits of breastfeeding to your baby as these are very widely available in leaflets from your clinic or midwife, but more on the effects it can have on the mother if it isn't working out. There is plenty to tell us that if we get baby latched on correctly and we are eating correctly then everything will work out which is why I believe so many mums blame themselves and feel so guilty if they decide to switch to formula feeding.

I have three daughters, my eldest I breastfed till she was 10 months old, the middle one I didn't even last a week and my youngest was breastfed exclusively for 2 weeks and then combined bottle and breast till she was 6 months old. I think this goes to show how different it is with every baby. When I had my eldest breastfeeding just seemed to come naturally for both of us, she latched on easily and enjoyed breastfeeding so much that I had the opposite problems she would not take a bottle at all or expressed or formula milk from any other bottle or cup, and believe me I tried every teat I could find, and when I did eventually stop feeding her at 10 months old I had to stay away from her completely at bedtime to stop her trying to eat her way through my top.
Because everything had been so easy first time round I just expected it to be the same second time round and I didn't read or hear anything to tell me otherwise. Initially it was fine she would latch on no problem but only ever feed for a few minutes before crying, then I would get her back on and the same would happen again. Every feed time we would both get frustrated and there were tears from both of us most days. It was a very upsetting time and I talked to my midwife who did try to help but was of the conclusion that I wasn't getting her latched on properly which is why she was crying. I knew she was latched on properly You can tell my the position of their lip and tongue and also in my experience you can feel when they are. After two weeks I couldn't take any more so switched to formula, I was exhausted and feeling down and knew deep down it was the right thing to do but that didn't stop me feeling guilty and blaming myself and thinking if only I'd tried a little harder or kept it up for a little longer. I was worried that I wouldn't have as close a bond with her as I did my eldest, I felt I'd let her down and everything I read just told me how great breastfeeding was not how you shouldn't blame yourself when it doesn't go to plan. I ended up feeling really very low afterwards.
Third time round breastfeeding was easier and we were doing really well but my milk was just not satisfying her enough and I was eating a healthy balanced diet, I wasn't dieting I was doing everything I should have been, she was just a really hungry baby. The midwife advised against me combining formula and breast milk and suggested she wasn't hungry all the time but using me as a dummy, I knew this wasn't the case as she didn't fall asleep feeding and the whole time she was latched on I would see and hear her swallowing, so I decided to go for it. It was the best thing I could have done I started off introducing one bottle a day and took it from their and once she was used to both I could change between the two to suit where we were and what we were doing. If breast feeding is not quite working and you feel that your milk isn't quite enough I would definately advise giving combination feeding a go before you decide to stop completely.

In my opinion giving it a go is what counts, I feel the point to stop is when it is making you feel stressed and stopping you from enjoying the first few days/weeks of your babies life and if it doesn't work out its not your fault, I had three different experiences of breastfeeding yet I was the same person and did the same things each time. Also be prepared for all the feelings you will have afterwards guilt been a big one but every time you feel that way remember it is more important that you are happy and healthy so that you can care for your baby properly and by stopping doing something that was causing you stress and upset then you are doing best by your baby so try and push that to one side and enjoy bonding with your baby instead. Also, even if it was hard you may find that you miss breastfeeding but you are likely to find that whenever you stop, I did even after ten months.

Also don't let a bad experience put you off, just cause it doesn't work out with your first baby its still worth giving it a go second time round, when it does go smoothly it's a great thing, you feel so close to your baby and it's a great way to bond, its so easy, no bottles to wash, no sterilising, not as much stuff to take out with you, being able to stay out longer than planned without worrying about running out of bottles and most of all putting you feet up with a magazine and the remote control to hand for a good long feed while everyone else runs round after you x

Summary: Do whats right for you!!!