My top ten tips with coping (Tips on Coping)

Member Name: mummy2twogirls

Product:	Tips on Coping
Date:	30/10/08 (25 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: There is light at the end of the tunnel

Disadvantages: Feeling like your on your own

When i first became pregnant, like many other mums to be, i had a mixed array of feelings, part of me felt happy about becoming a mother, and part of me felt scared and worried about how i would cope. I mean it looked easy enough seeing other mums with their children, pushing them round in pushchairs and playing with them on the park- i was wrong.
When my first daughter was born i was ecstatic and felt the happiest person on the planet,we brought her home the following day and got into the swing of things, changing her nappy, feeding. The following day when the midwife came round my daughter had a mucus attack and stopped breathing i went into a state of panic and shock and didn't know what to do, thankfully the midwife took over and i was told the ring an ambulance, we got to hospital and everything was fine. But since that moment i became a very protective parent and got worried at the slightest cough or hiccup, my partner had two weeks off work and helped every bit he could, getting up in the night for feeds, changing nappies,winding her, life just seemed so perfect. Then when his two weeks was up he had to go back to work, when i saw him off for the first time i remember the door shutting and me thinking well it's just you and me now girl.
At first things went well, i had me time to bond with my daughter and i loved it, i had various visitors, who helped me out and i kept thinking to myself i can do this. The novelty soon wore off though and visitors became none existent although my partner was home at 6.00pm in the day i felt alone and sometimes bored, i mean there's not much a 3 week old baby can do bar from sleep eat and cry.
I was scared to leave the house on my own in case something happened so stayed in all day, every day.
The health visitor came round one day, and checked on the baby and then asked if everything was ok with me,i don't know whether it was the hormones but i broke down and told her everything, that i felt i couldn't cope and how i thought i was a bad mum already. She was lovely and suggested things to help me a lot of them where so obvious why didn't i think of them??

Here is a list of things i have used from then until the present day to help me cope with having children, since then i have had another daughter and have one on the way so having three kids under three is going to be tricky.....

1~ Remember first and foremost you are not alone, thousands of parents have the same feelings and there are lots of people and things to help you out along the way.

2~Ask for help, whether it be a health visitor, doctor, your mum,dad or family or close friends that what their here for.Don't be scared whether it be them coming round for a hour to watch your child while you have a bath makes all the difference.

3~ Try to get you child/children into a routine as quickly as you can,it will be hard at first, but once you do establish one, things will be better all round, and harsh as it may sound, your child will know what's happening at certain times of the day, and you will feel in control.

4~ When going out somewhere whether it be for a day trip or nipping down town for a hour or two, always make sure you have a bag packed with milk, bottles, bib, change of clothing, snacks,nappies, wipes and other things that are essential, you may not need them, but there again you might, always be prepared.

5~Entertaining two children can be difficult sometimes because of the age gap, If it's sunny outside, play in the garden, or take them to the park, or go for a walk, you will feel better and so will your child. If it's not the weather to be outside, indoor activities can be just as fun, let them watch a dvd, paint, colour, dressing up or putting some music on and dancing is a great way to bond.

6~ Let your partner/husband take over for a bit while you have a lie down, or do some house work, this will give him chance to bond as well

7~ Ok so we all like to be house proud, but that can wait, don't worry that you haven't dusted today leave it till tomorrow your health and wellbeing is more important.

8~ If for some reason your child won't stop crying, make sure you have tried the obvious things as to why he might be crying, dirty bum, wants feeding, has wind, hurt himself etc. Check his temperature if concerned ring your doctor or out of hours ring NHS direct who might be able to help, they won't think you're stupid because you called, that's what there here for.

9~ Make sure each child has me 'me' time with mum or dad, this time weather it be 10 minutes or half an hour can be spent doing pretty much anything, from reading a book together, to doing a puzzle, by making sure that you do spend time with each child they don't feel left out and are more likely to be more relaxed and contented.

10~ Enroll in your local playschool, Nursery, or mum and baby group, there are thousands in the UK, and is a great chance for you and your baby to get out and meet other people, and to share story's and exchange tips, plus you might make friends to.

I hope my tips where useful in some way? But please remember if you feel like you can't cope you are NOT alone,becoming a parent can be daunting but there is always someone to help you and guide you. Us mums are a circle of friends and should be proud of what we do.

Summary: Us mums should stand united and be proud of who we are